Recently, I saw an answer to the question "Why do people fall into love brains", and I felt enlightened.
From the point of view of Chinese medicine,If you are weak, you will be pity, physical weakness can lead to emotional dependence.
That is, in situations where both emotionally and physically are unhealthy, people are more likely to seek out others to meet their emotional needs.
When we start to become overly dependent on another person, we are actually losing ourselves gradually.
Once you lose the other person, you will fall into despair and pain.
In this state, if you continue to pursue unhealthy feelings, you are really just falling from one abyss to another.
Traditional Chinese medicine theory believes that the most important thing at this time is not to fall in love, but to maintain the body.
The key to body care is to love yourself and invest in yourself so that you can regain your lost self.
Only people who know how to love themselves can have a healthy relationship.
As I turn 30, I have learned a little bit about investing in myself. The following three points can help you get rid of the "love brain".
Expand your horizons and see the wider world
When we are troubled by the "love brain", we often feel helpless and angry.
There will always be some friends around, and no matter how much we advise, we can't make her realize the reality.
For example, if the other party does not reply to the message, she will make up one lie after another to cover up the facts, and she is unwilling to accept the fact that she has been ignored;
When the other party is too intimate with the opposite sex, she feels uneasy, but she blames herself and whispers because of the other person's blame.
At this time, instead of racking your brains and constantly looking for signs of love, it is better to be relieved, and the other person's attitude will give you the answer.
For sensitive people, love and dislove are actually obvious.
Instead of constantly expecting the love of others, turn your attention back to yourself and look at the wider world.
Interact with people of different ages and see the scenery of different places.
After seeing the world, you will find that those difficulties and knots in your heart are actually due to your own blindness.
As Yang Mi said: "Love is beautiful, but it is not the whole of life." ”
The pursuit of knowledge enriches the mind
When I think of the importance of reading for people, I am reminded of a book I have read about feminism, the Neapolitan Tetralogy.
This ** tells the life of two female best friends living in Naples.
Lila has shown extraordinary talent since she was a child, but after graduating from elementary school, she was forced by her family to leave school and enter society early, get married and have children; At the same time, Lennon's parents listened to the teacher's advice and allowed Lennon to continue his education.
Lennon then took up writing and finished college herself, becoming the first woman in a poor neighborhood to earn a college degree.
Lila first married a wealthy businessman and later fell in love with a talented college student.
However, what marriage and love brought her was not what she had imagined.
The seemingly jealous marriage did not give her a sense of security, but violence and oppression.
After a difficult escape from this marriage, Lila develops an attraction with Nino, a scholar who she thought would treat her sincerely, but in the end, it was only a short-lived passion.
When the passion fades, only a mess remains.
For Lennon, emotions have been a catalyst for her growth, allowing her to expand her knowledge, network and knowledge.
Although Lennon was confused several times during his development, he eventually changed his fate through reading.
She continued to write, and successfully published a number of books, and became known as a writer.
Reading not only enriches our inner world, but also allows us to appreciate a variety of lifestyles.
The puzzles that puzzle us may have already been answered by books.
Find your passion and live life to the fullest
Finding love is an indispensable thing in life, this is what Zhang Junning said in an interview.
She admonishes us to be brave enough to pursue our passions, no matter how old and how the years go by.
She shared her mother's experience of starting a master's degree in her forties, becoming a university lecturer, always sticking to her ideals and never giving up pursuing her dreams.
There's a good saying: hobbies are a staple of time.
In the things you love, you will never feel bored and lonely.
In the days when you are delayed by the other party's reply, instead of constantly being anxious and torturing yourself, it is better to focus on the things you love and gain a greater sense of happiness.
When you dedicate yourself to your hobby, you find yourself by finding what you really want to pursue.
Rather than craving a response from the outside world, it is more important to grow oneself and make people feel calm and confident.
True happiness and satisfaction come from inner perseverance and pursuit, regardless of external evaluation and recognition.
So girls, don't be burdened by other people's expectations, finding yourself is the real key, not chasing in the footsteps of others.