The much-ridiculed "pork-stuffed dumplings" incident has illuminated the hidden pain of countless Chinese children
Recently, a ** has caused heated discussions on the Internet and has been ridiculed by many netizens on the hot search list, revealing the pain that many Chinese children are suffering behind their backs.
*, a girl said, "I didn't know until I was 18 years old that dumplings can not be filled with pork. ”
Here's the thing, the girl grew up with the smell of pork and vomited as soon as she smelled it, so she wasn't interested in anything related to pork.
However, her mother mistakenly thought that she was a picky eater and did not like pork, so she kept forcing her to eat pork, and even often included pork-filled dumplings for her.
Her mother's purpose is to change her daughter's eating habits and stimulate her appetite.
During a meal, the girl saw that her mother deliberately stewed all the dishes together, and her emotions broke down all of a sudden, and she said to her mother: "Mom, is this pork?" Didn't I say many times that I couldn't stand the smell of pork and couldn't eat it? Why are you forcing me to eat!!
Mom didn't think so, and scolded: "Eat, finish it for me, I'll see if you will die!" What kid can be as picky eater as you! ”
So, the girl cried and ate the pork, endured the feeling of vomiting, and swallowed all the pork.
When she returned to her room after eating, the girl couldn't stand it anymore and threw up so much that she was about to collapse.
A few days later, her mother took her to her grandmother's house to play.
At lunchtime, my grandmother saw that she only ate vegetables and not pork, so she did not force her to eat it, but gave her a chicken leg again.
At this time, when my mother saw her grandmother clipping chicken legs for the girl to eat, she immediately put the chicken legs back and got angry with her grandmother: "You can't get used to her, she didn't even eat the side dishes fried in pork before, and now she also eats well?" ”
When she grew up, the girl was in the college cafeteria, and her aunt saw that she didn't want pork every time she cooked, and she didn't want pork-filled dumplings, so she learned that she might not eat pork, so she brought her a bowl of dumplings with "leek egg filling" at noon one day.
It wasn't until that moment that the girl really understood that dumplings could not be ...... stuffed with pork
Her biological mother turned out to be inferior to a stranger. The more the girl thought about it, the more ridiculous she felt.
In this regard, many netizens ridiculed:
Parents like to use this kind of action to satisfy their desire for control. ”
I didn't eat green onions since I was a child, I didn't put green onions at home when I was a child, and when I grew up, I learned to pick green onions by myself, and I won't be told by my parents. ”
It is always said that children are picky eaters, but adults will not buy dishes that they don't like to eat. ”
If you don't want to eat anything abroad, you will not be forced to eat, everyone will take care of it, avoid what you don't like to eat, Chinese parents are really suffocating. ”
In fact, every parent will say when their child is born: "I don't want anything, as long as he is happy and happy for the rest of his life." ”
But as a result, parents give their children too much besides being happy and happy.
This caused netizens to think, and some people said: "In fact, many parents make serious educational mistakes. It's not because of the lack of experience as a parent for the first time, but because of the first taste of power, so I don't know how to be a human being. ”
They always use authority in the name of love to force children to grow up according to their goals. Such a desire to control is too strong, and it is always the people they love the most who end up hurting.
If a person does not even have the right to choose and lives according to the wishes of others, can it still be considered his own life?
There is a passage in Gibran's "On Children": "Your children are not your children, they are the children born of life's desire for themselves, and they came into the world through you, but they did not come because of you." They are there for you, but they don't belong to you. You can give them love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own minds. ”
Caring for children, for the good of children, there is no problem in itself, what is wrong is the strength and method of loving children.
I once saw such a sentence in a book:
Happy families all have one thing in common, there is no person in the family who is very controlling. And unfortunate families have a person who has a strong desire to control. ”
When parents are too controlling, it is destined to become a disaster for their children's lives.
There is one story that touches me deeply:
There was a boy who hated eating soybeans so much that he would vomit just by smelling them, and if he ate them, he would vomit and have diarrhea repeatedly.
However, his parents didn't take it too seriously, and just thought he was a picky eater.
Therefore, in order to correct his "habit", his parents did everything possible to make all kinds of soybean food for him to eat.
Every time after eating, he would go to the toilet and vomit, feeling particularly uncomfortable.
When he grew up, he expressed his opinion to his parents, saying that he was really allergic to soybeans and hoped that they would stop making soybean food for him and respect his feelings.
Although his parents ostensibly promised not to make soybeans for him to eat, they secretly put soybeans in the dish or made them into drinks for him to drink.
In order to escape from the control of his parents, the boy chose the city farthest from home when filling out the college entrance examination.
However, after going to college, whenever his parents visited him at school once, they would bring him a bunch of soybean food.
Even after he left the society to work, his parents still did not change and moved directly to his city to make soybean food specifically for him.
In the end, in order to punish his parents, he ate soybean soup in front of them, vomited and drank, drank and vomited, and it was not until he drank ** and was sent to the ICU that his parents really realized the seriousness of the matter.
The final price was that part of the boy's stomach was amputated, and his parents were deeply remorseful.
After reading this story, I just felt very sad. Is it really so difficult to be a parent who knows how to respect children's feelings?
This kind of love is like a kind of shackle, which not only locks the child's heart, but also restricts the freedom of the parents.
Psychologist Li Xue once said: "A body can only bear one soul, and if the control of parents is impenetrable, the child is actually mentally dead." ”
When parents always force their children to eat food they don't like and do things they don't like, after a long time, children will form a kind of demon in their hearts, and then they will explode from time to time.
Therefore, mistaking the desire for control for love and education is the greatest sorrow of parenthood.
Rokafu once said: "To truly love children is to give children freedom and respect them, not **; Be supportive, not constrained; Love, not possess; We must exercise our responsibilities as parents, and we must not treat our children as our appendages. ”
This sentence won my heart. Whether it's love, family affection or friendship, no matter how close the relationship is, it also needs to have a sense of boundaries.
In life, the most precious gift for a loved one is not flowers, not luxury, but understanding and respect.
Only when parents learn to respect their children can they feel respected and loved, feel that life is full of meaning, and have the courage to face the future.
Therefore, respecting children is a lifelong lesson for parents.