"Mom, which university do you want me to go to? ”Faced with the question of her son Ding Ding, who had just entered high school, Zou Hongyan, a single mother, joked:"At least take the Peking University exam, otherwise Harvard will do it. ”
Zou Hongyan didn't expect that the words she casually dealt with her son at the beginning would plant the seeds of hope in her son's heart.
In the summer of 2007, Ding Ding took the college entrance examination, and while waiting for the scores, both mother and son were a little nervous and anxious. Ding Ding really lived up to his mother's expectations, with a score of 660 in the college entrance examination, with excellent results.
Subsequently, the mother was very troubled for her son to apply for the volunteer, but Ding Ding did not hesitate too much when filling in the final volunteer, and the first choice was to apply for Peking University. After Zou Hongyan found out, she was a little worried about her son's volunteering, because Peking University only accepts a few people every year, and if the score is not enough, it will be a waste of the opportunity to choose the first choice.
At the beginning of August, the two men's concerns came to bear with the acceptance letter sent by the postman. Ding Ding took the admission letter of Peking University's environmental science major to report the good news to his mother"Mom, I did it! ”
Zou Hongyan, 45, cried with joy because she knew how difficult it was for her son to do all this, and how many years he had to endure in purgatory.
When the neighbors learned that Ding Ding was admitted to Peking University, they all congratulated and lamented Zou Hongyan's hardships over the years.
Because Ding Ding has been a child with severe cerebral palsy since he was a child, he has paid too much than the average person. When I was born, the doctor issued 5 critical illness notices in a row, and even thought that there was no need for rescue, her husband also persuaded Zou Hongyan to give up and divorce her later, but at that thought, Zou Hongyan firmly asked to keep the child.
And Ding Ding, a child with cerebral palsy, was not only admitted to Peking University under the care of his mother's loveAfter graduating from Harvard University in 2017 after graduating from Peking University as a graduate student, he fulfilled his mother's casually stated "Harvard" wish with amazing perseverance and extraordinary intelligence.
This mother and son have created miracles one after another. The mother's selflessness and greatness have pulled Tintin back from the front of "God's outcast" again and again, and Tintin has also relied on his perseverance and hard work to make his mother proud of himself again and again, and has completed a life feat of "changing his life against the sky".
Zou Hongyan still remembers her anxious mood at the end of 1988, when she held her son Ding Ding with cerebral palsy and pointed to the colorful balloons on the wall at home, and kept whispering to her son:"It's red, it's yellow, it's green......”
Because of her son's illness, she followed the doctor's advice and hung all kinds of balloons at home after Ding Ding turned 3 months old, in order to check whether Ding Ding's intelligence was normal in advance.
Because children with cerebral palsy usually have three conditions when they grow upOne is motor nerve damage, which can lead to limb incoordination or paralysis, the second is intellectual impairment, which becomes dementia when you grow up, and the third is the most unfortunate, which is the superposition of the first two conditions, and the worst case is dementia that becomes paralyzed.
The doctor told Zou Hongyan that the child's intelligence can be tested from about three months to see if the child will respond to various colors. Zou Hongyan prayed that Ding Ding's intelligence would be normal, so that she would be absent in the future and the child could take care of herself, and at the same time, according to the doctor's advice, she arranged many colored balloons at home.
After constantly telling his son about the color of the balloon, one day Zou Hongyan hugged his son and asked, "The red balloon is in **?" ”
Although Tintin couldn't speak, his eyes were fixed on the red balloon and he didn't move. This made Zou Hongyan very surprised, if Ding Ding could really distinguish the red balloon, it meant that his intelligence was fine.
She was afraid that this time it was a coincidence, so she tried a few more times and found that her son could really distinguish the color of balloons. She was a little excited to take her son to the hospital for a check-up, and the results were as she expected, Tintin did not have dementia, and his intelligence was the same as that of children of the same age.
For Zou Hongyan, this is the most surprising thing in her gloomy life in the past few months.
Back on July 18, a few months ago, in the delivery room of a hospital in Wuhan, Zou Hongyan, who had just given birth to a son, and her husband did not have the joy of becoming parents for the first time, because the doctor came with a thunderbolt news - the child had intracranial hemorrhage and intrauterine hypoxia and suffocation.
As soon as the child was born, the doctor gave him a critical illness notice, and when the husband signed it, he begged the child to be safe, but when he signed the fifth critical illness notice, his mentality also collapsed, and the doctor also advised them to give up the child:"Your child has severe cerebral palsy, and even if he is rescued, he will either be stupid or paralyzed. You are still young, when your wife is well recuperated, just have another one. ”
As a dual-income family, when family planning had been implemented at that time, the husband knew very well that if he had this child, then they would not be able to have another child, so he followed and persuaded Zou Hongyan:"Let's not have this child, lest he become a drag on us for the rest of our lives. Unplug the oxygen tube, and in a few minutes, we will have a healthy baby later. ”
But in October, Zou Hongyan, who had just given birth, had inseparable feelings for her child, and she said no to her husband"That's our child, how can you bear it? I want him alive! ”
Zou Hongyan has only one idea in her heart, that is, to save the child, she doesn't want what her life will become in the future, as long as the child can live now, the mother's love makes her "stubborn", and there is no room for negotiation.
"If you want to raise it, just raise it yourself, anyway, I don't care about it in the future. Her husband's words made her feel cold and very unfamiliar.
At Zou Hongyan's insistence, the hospital has not given up on rescue. On the fifth day, the child finally cried out for the first time in the world, and the doctor was a little relieved, and said to Zou Hongyan: "If you cry, you will be saved, but it depends on you what he will do in the future." ”
Zou Hongyan named the child Ding Ding, which is taken from the "Book of Songs" "Felling Ding Ding, Birdsong Boom", where Ding Ding refers to the loud sound of cutting down trees. Zou Hongyan hopes to use this name to annotate her son's life and hope that he will live his own resounding life.
Zou Hongyan, a native of Dalian, Liaoning Province, became a teacher at Wuhan Preschool Normal School after graduating from university. She is engaged in education herself, and after being discharged from the hospital, she kept asking doctors and special education teachers for advice.
When everyone was talking about Tintin's situation, when she grew up to be "stupid or paralyzed", she pressed her sadness in her heart and kept comforting herself that Tintin would definitely be different from them.
Although he was strong on the surface, before he did the intelligence test, Zou Hongyan also prepared for the worst for Ding Ding, a child:"If he's stupid, then I'll raise him for a day, I'll raise him for a day, and if I can't live, I'll take him with me. If he's not stupid, I'll let him learn a skill anyway, so he can live without me. ”
Fortunately, when Ding Ding was three months and six months old, he did intelligence tests respectively, which was no different from children of the same age, which showed that his intelligence was normal, which made Zou Hongyan's gloomy life suddenly appear a bright color.
But even if Tintin is not stupid, will he be paralyzed? After Zou Hongyan cleaned up her mood, she continued to learn and ask for advice. She wanted to help Ding Ding "change his life", and before the intelligence test, she only prayed that her son's intelligence was normal, even if his athletic ability was not good, it was acceptable. But after making it clear that her son is not stupid, her wish has also been upgraded, so that her son can exercise normally, walk normally, talk normally, go to school normally, and live a normal life.
For this goal, she constantly trains her son at home, and when she heard that the doctor of ** is doing a good job, she does not hesitate to take her son to do it.
Under normal circumstances, children can climb and sit at seven or eight months, but Ding Ding can only rely on adults to hold him when he is two years old, his hands have no strength, and others can't hold things for him. After learning about her son's physical condition, Zou Hongyan specified a training plan, starting with training Ding Ding's hand strength, she brought back a lot of waste test papers from school, and asked Ding Ding to pinch the paper first, and then slowly let him tear it open, tearing it into two, four, and eight parts.
Until he was three and a half years old, Tintin could not walk normally, so he could only hold on to the wall and drag his left foot forward. This made Zou Hongyan sad, and took Ding Ding to major hospitals for medical treatment.
The doctor diagnosed him with left hemiplegia, although Zou Hongyan had expected this result, but she still wanted her son to be normal, so when she learned that there was a Chinese medicine ** center in Wuhan that could stimulate the development of brain nerves by massaging the body, she seemed to see hope.
*The doctor at the center told Zou Hongyan that for children with cerebral palsy, the age of three to six is the first period to repair the child's motor function. If you miss it, you basically don't have a chance in this life.
And even if it is, the hope of success is very slim,"There may be a 3% hope, no, destined to be in a wheelchair for the rest of your life. ”
In Zou Hongyan's opinion, even if there is only 1% hope, she has to give it a try for her son.
So since he was more than three years old, Tintin took his son to massage three times a week. It is said to be a massage, but it is actually a "skin roll", that is, the doctor pulls up the child's ** vigorously, twists it vigorously, and after holding it for dozens of seconds, let the ** rebound on its own.
Massaging Ding Ding is to stimulate his nervous development, so the doctor's strength is very great, and often six or seven doctors press Ding Ding's body hard, which makes him cry in pain every time, every time he sees his son being fixed on the hospital bed, listening to his terrible cry, Zou Hongyan is also very heartbroken, she wants to give up many times, but when she thinks that her son will be in a wheelchair in the future, she can't accept it, so she relents again and again, and takes her son to the hospital bed that has a childhood shadow for him, and accepts the doctor's " Roll skin".
Later, every time he said that he wanted to go for a massage, Ding Ding cried and begged Zou Hongyan not to go, "Mom, it hurts too much, I can't stand it, can we not go for a massage today?" ”
Young Tintin** knew that if he hadn't suffered these things as a child, he would probably have to live in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Zou Hongyan could only refuse Ding Ding's pleas again and again, and ruthlessly dragged him to the center of **.
Three massages a week, in fact, not only Ding Ding can't bear it, but Zou Hongyan is also a little struggling financially. At that time, her salary was 100 yuan, and it took 5 yuan to give her son a massage, and most of the money was spent on massages every month, and she had to maintain family expenses.
As the husband said back then, he ignored Ding Ding, and even said cool things when Zou Hongyan insisted on taking his son to massage without effect:"I said a long time ago to stop tossing, it didn't work after pressing it for so long. ”
In order to keep her son from missing every massage, Zou Hongyan worked several jobs by herself, and in addition to teaching, she also sold insurance part-time, and also received various orders for etiquette training for the unit.
In this way, I took my son to a massage for three years rain or shine, but the effect was a bit like what my husband said, "blind tossing". This made Zou Hongyan suffer a double blow both physically and mentally, but every time she wanted to give up, she remembered what the doctor said about "3% hope", and gritted her teeth to persevere, she felt that if she didn't insist now, she would definitely regret it in the future.
Zou Hongyan, who is already a little "crazy", is mechanically pushing the mother and son forward with a perseverance that does not give up, and she no longer dares to think about how she will face her future life if the massage has no effect in the end.
In 1995, Ding Ding was 7 years old, and when even Zou Hongyan felt a little numb, Ding Ding inadvertently made some unimaginable actions before. He was able to run, no slower than other children his age, he could jump, he could jump up and touch his mother's shoulder.
Zou Hongyan looked at Ding Ding's bouncing back and cried with joy.
Under the care of Zou Hongyan, Ding Ding finally kept up with the footsteps of normal people and could go to school.
When Ding Ding was in the second grade of primary school, one day Zou Hongyan went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and met a mother who also took her children to the ** center for massage before. At that time, because the child was in too much pain, the mother gave up the massage.
When asked about Ding Ding's current situation, Zou Hongyan said: "He is already in the second grade. ”
Still in school, do you go to pick him up every day? The other party's question made Zou Hongyan a little proud, she said: "There is no need to pick up, he will go by himself." ”
Upon learning that Tintin was already able to walk, run and jump on her own, the mother said with tears in her eyes"My child is now confined to his home every day, I'm sorry for him! ”
At that moment, Zou Hongyan also deeply realized the meaning of those insistences at the beginning.
Although Tintin is already able to walk normally, because of cerebral palsy, it takes a long time to learn and repeat exercises to do anything. Even so,He speaks with a knotted tongue, slurred words, and a lot slower movements, but everyone can still see at a glance that he is different from other children.
He learned to use chopsticks for nearly a year, because his fingers often did not obey the call, he could not pick up things, during which he dropped chopsticks many times, playing a child's temper, but Zou Hongyan waited for him to cry and still let him practice using chopsticks.
The mother-in-law couldn't look past it and spoke for Ding Ding, "The child eats with a spoon, there is no need to force him to use chopsticks." ”
But Zou Hongyan doesn't see it that way, she thinks that Ding Ding will grow up one day and sit down with normal people to eat, if he still eats with a spoon at that time, how can he bear that strange vision:"Does he have to explain to others again and again that I once had cerebral palsy and couldn't use chopsticks? I don't want him to live in a strange way. ”
Many things are very simple in normal people, but in Ding Ding, they can only be through continuous training. After entering elementary school, Ding Ding wrote very slowly, and the school also learned about the situation, according to his situation, according to his situation, he was given an extension of 20 minutes during the exam.
However, Ding Ding is also very competitive, and constantly shortens the extension time given to him by the school, shortening it to 10 minutes in the second grade, only 5 minutes slower than others in the third grade, and by the fourth grade, his writing speed has caught up with his peers, and there is no need to extend the exam time.
Every time she makes progress, Zou Hongyan sees it, and she is also proud of her son's progress.
Ding Ding's grades in school have always been very good, and there are more and more classmates who are willing to play with him, and in the end, everyone does not treat him as an outlier, and the normal communication with teachers and classmates also makes Ding Ding more and more confident.
But these advances did not prevent the divorce of his parents. At the age of ten, Zou Hongyan and her husband finally separated. However, this is nothing for Zou Hongyan and Ding Ding, because their hearts of mother and son have been in each other for so many years, and the roles of father and husband have always been missing.
Although she has some complaints about her husband, Zou Hongyan can also understand him. So after adjusting her mood, she immediately devoted herself to work and her son's education.
With a more positive attitude, she took care of her son meticulously, guided him, and became his spiritual mentor.
The primary school that Ding Ding attended was an ordinary primary school, but with his excellent grades, he was promoted to a key middle school. After being promoted to junior high school, Ding Ding encountered a new trouble, that is, military training before the start of school.
According to Ding Ding's situation, it was originally possible to issue a certificate of exemption from military training, but Zou Hongyan didn't want her son to be special in front of his new classmates.
On the first day of military training, Ding Ding appeared in a foreign appearance, his movements were always slow, walking in unison with hands and feet, and his limbs were very uncoordinated.
His classmates made up a joke to laugh at him, which hurt him so much that he went home and cried to his mother. Zou Hongyan told her son, "You are a big man, can't you stand this ridicule?" They laugh at you because they don't know you well, and if they get to know you, they will be willing to be friends with you like their elementary school classmates. ”
Sure enough, after learning about Tintin's story, many new classmates not only stopped laughing at him, but also took the initiative to become friends with him. Ding Ding's middle school journey has also been smooth, and he continues to maintain the title of "Xueba".
In 2007, Ding Ding was in his third year of high school, and he was very anxious, afraid that he would not be able to get into a good school and disappoint his mother. In a mock test, Ding Ding, who has always scored very well, did very poorly.
Zou Hongyan looked at her son's grades and didn't say anything. That afternoon, she reviewed his progress to her son over the years, from a child with severe cerebral palsy, step by step to a key high school, from not being able to walk, to being able to run and jump, from the object of ridicule by others, to the inspirational ......
The mother and son chatted for a long time, and finally Zou Hongyan said lightly"At first, I just wanted you to be mentally healthy and learn a trade to support yourself. But you can achieve what you have today, which is far beyond your mother's imagination, so you don't have to be nervous, do your best to take the test, and don't leave regrets. In case this year is not ideal, Mom will accompany you to repeat the study. Even if you can't go to college, you're still your mother's pride! ”
After this heart-to-heart talk, Ding Ding's mentality has changed a lot, he has unloaded all his burdens, and he has scored 660 points in the college entrance examination.
When filling in the volunteer, Ding Ding didn't think much about it, and directly filled in Peking University, which was the school that his mother once longed for, and it was also the best school in his own mind.
Ding Ding was successfully admitted to Peking University, and Zou Hongyan sent his son to report. On the campus of Peking University, she realized that her life and that of her son seemed to have entered a new chapter. The previous theme was hard work, hard work, and working hard for my son to live a normal life. And now, happiness and sharing have become the themes of their new chapter.
In the face of countless parents who came to ask for advice on how to educate children with cerebral palsy to become high-achieving students of Peking University, Zou Hongyan did not reserve and shared her children's experience with parents who were also troubled.
Ding Ding is still very good at Peking University, has won many national scholarships, and has also won the titles of Beijing Three Good Students, Beijing Outstanding Graduates and so on. After graduating with a bachelor's degree, Ding Ding successfully entered Peking University School of Transnational Law to study for a master's degree.
In 2015, Ding Ding graduated with a master's degree, and Zou Hongyan attended his graduation ceremony. This single mother smiled exceptionally brightly in the crowd because she completed the feat of helping her son "change his life against the sky".
Ding Ding entered a network company as a legal officer, although many people began to feel that a person who spoke a little inarticulately, it was a bit out of place to hold such a serious position, but now Ding Ding has enough confidence to face other people's incomprehension and doubts, in addition to this aspect, his business ability is very good, the study and understanding of the law, beyond the average person, it didn't take long to convince his colleagues.
However, Ding Ding at work has never forgotten his mother's "Harvard dream". In 2016, he was finally accepted to Harvard Law SchoolIn May 2017, he received his Master of Laws degree from Harvard and passed the U.S. Bar Exam. This time, Ding Ding can take on a variety of cross-border commercial cases.
After graduating from the United States, Tintin did not miss the United States and resolutely chose to return to China because there was his favorite mother here. After returning to China, Ding Ding joined a large company and became the legal staff of the company's international business.
Zou Hongyan spent half of her life on her son, and Ding Ding was competitive enough to become the pride of his mother. Now, Zou Hongyan often shares her children's education experience on the Internet, while Ding Ding is trying to save money to fulfill his dream of "traveling around the world" for his mother. And Tintin's father, after knowing his son's current achievements, also expressed his remorse for abandoning the two back then.
Ding Ding knows that in order to let him live a normal life, his mother has given up a lot of dreams, given up a lot of hobbies, and given up too many things, and now it is time to help his mother pick up those long-lost dreams again.