February 14 is another Valentine's Day.
On this romantic day, we always send a blessing, a gift, and an affectionate confession to our lover.
But don't forget, more importantly, to take care of yourself.
As Jane Eyre says, "Love yourself, and don't give generously the love, soul and strength of your whole heart as a gift." ”
This ** is the representative work of writer Charlotte Brontë, which has been published for more than 170 years and is still frequently on the major must-read lists.
The protagonist of the book, Jane Eyre, is an orphan girl from a humble background, but with self-esteem and self-love, she has gained a happy life.
Revisiting this book after the age of 40, I suddenly understood: loving yourself is the ** of all energy.
Accept yourself and withstand the blows of the outside world.
Jane Eyre's parents died when she was a child, and she was adopted by her aunt, Mrs. Reed.
But the life under the fence is not easy, and the family regards her as a burden.
She was cautious in everything, and even rushed to help the servants with their work, but in exchange for endless beatings and scolding.
In addition to the abuse, Mrs. Reed often mocked her for being annoying, calling her a "sinister and cunning bad boy."
The servants always said to her, "If you were pretty and cute, you might get sympathy, but you are a ghost girl, and you can't be liked." ”
But even though she has been excluded and suppressed by everyone for a long time, Jane has never given up on herself, but accepts herself from the heart.
She knew very well that she had done nothing wrong, and that she was not as bad as they said she was.
When the servants said she was unlikable, she would respond, "I don't like you either." ”
When Mrs. Reed accuses her of being a liar, she retorts, "It's your daughter, not me, who lies." ”
Once, after she was wounded by her cousin, the doctor, Mr. Lloyd, came to **.
From the other party, she learned that there are boarding schools for orphans.
No matter what the people around her say, she is stupid, and when it comes to **, it is annoying, and she insists on going to school.
Eventually, she managed to get into school and was able to get out of a bad situation.
In a world of disturbances, everyone will encounter unwarranted bullying and malicious suppression.
People who don't love themselves enough always take the evaluation of the outside world as the standard to define themselves.
Attacking oneself for a few words of advice from others, constantly spinning in the whirlpool set off by others, and unconsciously running out of energy.
And those who truly love themselves will never punish or torture themselves with other people's words.
They remain sober and vigilant, aware of their true emotions, and refuse to be led by anyone.
Because the world is one's own and has nothing to do with others. Life doesn't need to be proven, just self-realization.
Recognize your own imperfections, but also affirm your own value, and look at every aspect of yourself rationally.
Once you accept all of yourself, no one can easily define you and trap you.
Strengthen yourself and gain the confidence to stand up.
Jane enters school full of anticipation, only to find that the school is completely different from what she imagined.
The environment was poor, material scarcity, and there were many harsh rules and severe punishments.
To make matters worse, Mrs. Reed deliberately spoke ill of her to the headmaster, causing the headmaster to have a bad impression of her.
When she made a slight mistake, the principal made her stand in front of the class, saying that she was an ungrateful bad boy.
She was very shocked when she made a fool of herself in public, and she was afraid that everyone would look down on her, so she cried sadly.
Seeing her sad appearance, her classmate Helen and her teacher, Miss Turnpole, stepped forward to comfort her.
She explained aggrievedly: "I was wronged, but everyone will think that I am a very bad person." ”
They replied, "We will see you as a kind of person as you prove to be." ”
With their encouragement, Jane gradually came out of her low state.
She no longer tries to prove her innocence, but spends a lot of time every day reading, studying, and thinking.
In just a few weeks, she was promoted to a higher class with excellent grades and began to study in her senior year.
In the following years, she has been studying hard, excelling in all subjects, and even won the first place in the school.
Her classmates liked her and became friends with her; The teacher recognized her and was willing to teach her more knowledge.
The principal also changed his old opinion of her, and when she graduated, he hired her as a teacher.
I remember saying in "The Great Gatsby": "The world doesn't care about your self-esteem, people only see your achievements." ”
When a person is weak, he can't get a good face from others when he goes to **.
has been misunderstood, no matter how you explain it, no one will believe it; If you are bullied, no one will be afraid of how you resist.
The respect of others and your own sense of worth are all based on your own ability.
Therefore, people who really cherish themselves know how to polish their strength and silently improve their inner self.
Your strength is the best response to malice, and it is also the confidence to stand in the world.
Please yourself and attract equal appreciation.
Fudan professor Chen Guo said: "No matter what kind of life you live, there will always be people who don't like you. ”
But when you insist on living your true self, you will live a happier life, and you will also attract people from the same frequency to come closer to you.
After two years of teaching at the school, Jane was hired as a tutor at a manor.
The employer, Rochester, has a short temper and doesn't take her seriously at first, always calling at her.
However, no matter how bad Rochester's attitude was, Jane refused to grovel.
When he gave orders, Jane also took it in stride: "No one who is born free is willing to bow his head and endure the arrogance and rudeness of others. ”
It is this neither humility nor arrogance that gives Jane a unique personality charm.
Rochester gradually began to accept her, admired her, and finally became infatuated with her.
Jane also got along for a long time, and developed a good impression of Rochester, who was cold on the outside and hot on the inside.
But love didn't completely overwhelm her, she still took pleasing herself as the top priority.
Rochester asked her to change her modest attire and put on jewels and fine clothes, but she decisively refused: "Then I would not be Jane Eyre." ”
Rochester also asked her to do nothing and travel around the world with her, but she refused to give up her passion as a teacher.
Even if each other's identities and classes are not equal, Jane does not want to be reduced to decorating other people's landscapes and clinging to other people's puppets.
Her intransigence made Rochester respect her more and no longer force her to do things she didn't like.
I am reminded of a quote from the writer Hesse: "I know that life you say is good, but I still want to be myself." ”
No matter which direction a person is standing, he will always have his back to the other half of the world.
Even if you repeatedly compromise and back down, you won't be able to please everyone, and you will gradually lose yourself.
Instead of trying to cater to others, it is better to stand in your own position and live as you like.
Regardless of the lights in the world, you can only shine your own light, whether anyone stops to admire it or not, you have completed yourself.
Be kind to yourself and have a peaceful state of mind.
Woody Allen said, "Life is an accident, and we never know what's going to happen next. ”
Just as Jane prepares to marry Rochester, she suddenly learns a shocking truth:
He had been married for many years, and his wife, who was mentally ill, was locked up in the attic of the manor.
Shocked, Jane couldn't tolerate his deception and left him overnight.
But she walked in a hurry, left her luggage, and could only wander around penniless.
When she was about to faint from hunger, she met St. John, a priest, and his two sisters.
The three siblings were not wealthy, but they generously took her in and shared food and shelter with her.
But the pain of the past tortured her so much that she couldn't sleep well, couldn't eat, and her body became weaker and weaker.
In St. John's eyes, she was as thin as a frozen bird, and one couldn't help but worry about her.
St. John's sisters also tried their best to improve her food and take her out for a walk.
Under their care, Jane began to try to adjust her routine and take care of her body and mind.
She lived a regular life, getting up and eating on time every day, and gradually regained her strength.
She also tries to forget the sad things, focus on the present, and calm down to read and study.
After a few months, she had gained a lot of weight, and her complexion became more and more ruddy, and she was no longer as weak as before.
And when a person's body is strong, his heart will be more powerful.
Whether it is the heavy pain of the past or the complicated and trivial matters of the present, it will not set off any ripples in her heart.
The so-called love for oneself is first of all to learn to take care of one's body and mind.
Only when you are healthy can you have the energy to deal with the complex world, and only when you are calm can you have the energy to smooth out negative emotions.
Relax when you're tired, rest when you're sick, and cry when you're sad.
Don't eat and sleep perfunctorily, and don't waste your energy on people and things that don't deserve it.
Enrich your body and mind, and you will live more comfortably and happily.
Loving yourself is a high-energy**.
Jane, with the help of St. John, was offered a job as a village teacher.
Most of the children in the village have never seen much of the world, and their temperament is wooden and unresponsive.
But these children reminded Jane of her young self, longing for love and attention, but always being hurt and neglected.
Fortunately, she has now learned self-love and has enough energy to love others.
She went out of her way to teach these children, trying her best to give them warmth and kindness.
Soon, the children were enlightened, their academic progress was rapid, and their manners and manners improved greatly.
Just as life was gradually calming down, she heard about a fire at the estate in Rochester.
Rochester rushed in to save his wife, but it was too late, and he himself was burned in both eyes and an arm by the fire.
Jane saw Rochester's kindness and responsibility and decided to return to him.
The people around her thought that she was just overflowing with sympathy, and she was dizzy for a while.
But in reality, Jane can be self-sufficient, both materially and spiritually, and does not have to be wronged to do things she doesn't like.
She acts as Rochester's eyes and arms, leading him out of his pitch-black predicament.
She also had the ideal happy marriage and spent the rest of her life with Rochester with mutual respect and love.
It is self-love that gives her enough energy to control her fate, to control gains and losses, and to overcome setbacks.
Dale Carnegie once said, "To understand that there is love in the world and in the world, a man must first begin by loving himself, and loving himself is the foundation of all love." ”
At all times, you have to love yourself enough before you have the energy to nourish others.
Because how we treat ourselves, life will treat us as we do.
Once you adjust your relationship with yourself, your relationship with the world will have a stable core.
You will be more sure and more steady, and the magnetic field around you will also run in an orderly manner, accumulating positive energy.
And a high-energy person is as warm and powerful as the morning sun, and can not only try his best to take care of himself, but also have the spare energy to care for others.
The French critic Fossard once commented: "Jane Eyre is full of vibrant personality. ”
Jane Eyre, like most ordinary people, did not have a superior background, outstanding talent, or extraordinary beauty.
But she never despises herself, no matter how hard she is, she has to live proudly, and no matter how difficult it is, she has to love herself well.
She has accumulated energy in self-healing, gained elevation, and changed her otherwise tragic fate.
Think about how long has it been since you had a good meal, a good night's sleep, and a relaxing vacation?
How long has it been since you have given yourself a little space to be alone and listen to your true thoughts?
This Valentine's Day, instead of waiting for others to love you, learn to cherish yourself.
Believe that you yourself are the source of all abundance.
When you firmly support yourself and gather the energy of love, you will be favored by the beauty of the world.
Like it, this Valentine's Day, love yourself a little more, and life will love you more.