1. Call your girlfriend ** and ask her where she is?
In the hotel too! ”
I teased her, "Hey, what's good for you to eat?" I can smell it all."
Girlfriend: "I'm queuing up in the bathroom......”
2There was a family of three who went to the restaurant for dinner, and the adults ordered some dishes cooked by wild animals and plants. The child was puzzled and asked, "Mom, why do you order so many wild ones?" Mom said, "Wild is good!" The child then asked, "Am I wild?" ”
3A parrot was hung in front of the pet shop, and a fat woman passed by to look at it, and the parrot said, "You look so good." The woman ignored and left, and the next day the woman deliberately passed by, and the parrot said, "You look so good." The woman was very angry and went to the shopkeeper, who promised that it would not happen in the future. On the third day the woman passed by again, and the parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I have to say!" ”
4 I took a taxi last night and got into a taxi that burned natural gas, so I asked the driver, "How far can you run a liter of steam?" ”
The driver glanced at me: "I refused to load when I was angry, and I didn't run a meter." ”
5 I'm relatively thin, my stomach is not very good, and I often skip dinner, every time a long-distance relationship man asks me if I have dinner, I say no, I will be scolded by him, and then I make up a luxury dinner every day to deceive him in order not to let him scold, and he deceived me for a week, he asked me worriedly: "Are you being fostered?" ”
6 I am a daughter, I am a sports student, and I finally got my first boyfriend. One day, I was walking in the park with him, he wanted to kiss me, I dodged, and then like a couple on TV, I started, I ran, he chased me, we both laughed so happily, I looked back and smiled, "Huh? What about boyfriends? ......Am I running too fast? ”
7Two elementary school students were good friends, and one day they quarreled while chatting, and one said, "Look, your father is a shoe repairer, and the shoes you are wearing are on the outside of your toes!" The other said, "What about me, your father is a dentist, but your brother was born without any teeth!" ”
8 Today, a friend asked me to borrow 20,000 yuan, and I borrowed it! In the evening he sent a message saying: Those who borrowed my money are my forever brothers. Those who don't lend me money, after three years, I earned 10.4 million, and whoever asks me to borrow money will not give him ......Seeing this, should I get my 20,000 back first?
9 At dinner today, I walked past a young and beautiful mm like Song Hye Kyo.
The boyfriend kept staring at people until his neck couldn't turn 180 degrees.
He came back to his senses and found me looking at him coldly.
The boyfriend smiled calmly: Did you see the woman just now? I've been watching her for so long, and I can't find anything better than you.
10 Zhanzhao told Mahan his heroic story: "That day, I went to Xiaoyao Tower to obtain important information, but I was seriously injured by mistake. I forced a breath of true qi and supported it to Kaifeng Mansion, and suddenly my eyes were dark. Mahan asked with concern, "Did you faint?" Zhanzhao: "No, it's Master Bao who came out." ”
11 was watching TV at home, my husband called me a **, he said: Wife, a few colleagues came to our house for dinner tonight, and the dishes at home are not enough to eat, you can cook! I said curiously: What kind of logic do you have, there are not enough dishes, and I can cook enough to eat? Husband: Of course, the food you cook is more unpalatable!
12 beauty: I thought you were an honest person, but I didn't expect you to be such a lowly hooligan, I didn't say it earlier, it took so long!
Last night I went to KTV Hi Pi, fancy a girl is very suitable for my taste, I chatted for more than two hours in the past, and the chat was quite fateful, I really don't want to spoil the atmosphere, I'm afraid that I will be embarrassed after breaking the paper, and finally I can't help but confess to her, I didn't expect the words to just fall, she stood up violently, poured a glass of wine on me, and roared: "I thought you were an honest person, but I didn't expect you to be such a lowly hooligan, I didn't say it earlier, drag it on for so long, go, open the room!" I was stunned!