Parenting: When educating children, please do not use accusations to express feelings, and use commands instead of requests.
On the road of parenting, the communication between parents and children is the foundation for building a good parent-child relationship. However, in daily life, due to stress, exhaustion, or lack of effective communication skills, some parents unconsciously adopt the form of blaming and commanding when educating their children, which not only does not help solve the problem, but can have a negative impact on the child's self-esteem and emotional development. Therefore, when educating children, we should avoid using accusations to express feelings and instead use requests for commands.
First, we need to recognize the dangers of blame. When parents treat their children in a blaming tone, the child may feel attacked and disrespected. Such negative communication can make children feel that their worth is being questioned, which can lead to defensive reactions such as justification, resistance, and even rebellion. Being in such a communication environment for a long time may become self-contained and reluctant to share their thoughts and feelings, which is extremely detrimental to developing children's self-confidence and open personality.
Second, let's look at imperative language. Commands are often coercive and unquestionable, which can deprive children of the opportunity to think and make their own choices. In this way of communication, children may gradually lose the ability to make their own decisions, which has a negative impact on the development of independence and responsibility. In addition, children who have been ordered for a long time may develop an aversion to parental authority, leading to estrangement from the parent-child relationship.
To avoid the above problems, parents should learn to communicate with their children in a positive way. Here are some suggestions:
1.Use the language of "I". When expressing dissatisfaction or concern, try to start with your own feelings, such as "I feel a little worried when you didn't tell me you're going to be late" rather than blaming your child for "why don't you always tell me you're going to be late".
2.Make a specific request. Instead of commands, parents can use the form of a request to give their children the space to choose. For example, it could be said "Can you help me put the book back on the shelf?" Instead of the command saying, "Put the book back on the shelf!" ”
3.Encourage your child to express themselves. When communicating, encourage your child to express his or her thoughts and feelings so that he or she feels respected and understood. Parents can say, "Do you want to talk about what happened at school today?" Instead of asking, "What trouble did you get into at school today?" ”
4.Listen and give feedback. Parents should listen carefully and give positive feedback when their children express themselves. This boosts your child's self-confidence and fosters emotional communication between parents and children.
5.Be consistent and patient. In the process of educating your child, maintain consistent rules and boundaries while being patient and not overreact to the emotions of the moment.
In conclusion, when educating their children, parents should avoid using blaming and commanding communication styles and adopt a more positive and respectful approach. Through such communication, children are not only able to feel loved and supported, but also learn how to express themselves in a mature and responsible way, which is essential for their growth and development. Let's learn and grow with our children on the journey of parenting, and work together to create a loving and understanding family environment.