I have heard a saying: "Mother is the earth, father is a tree, and children are branches and buds." "I think so. Mom is the foundation of a family, a stable and healthy bond in the parent-child relationship. Peaceful mother, creating a relaxed family atmosphere;A great mother, an accomplished child. Psychologist research has proved that children's problems are mainly emotional problems, and poor learning Xi are due to negative emotional distress, and parents' inner anxiety and impetuousness are more terrible than children's grades. No matter how good the education is, it can't be worth a powerful mother. 5 suggestions given by the people to help mothers cultivate themselves and lift their children. 01Stabilize your mood
Psychology has a "imitation" mentality, which means that the child will unconsciously absorb the mother's personality and characteristics as his own and show it. The mother's emotions are the barometer of the family and shape the child's character. Emotionally stable moms teach optimistic and positive children;Moody mom who teaches pessimistic and negative children. Deaf-blind writer Helen Keller once said that her mother's first lesson in life was to control her emotions, telling her, "If you can't control your emotions, you can't control the direction of your life." "Especially when people encounter difficulties, people who control their emotions and let their emotions slave are destined to have different destinies. Parents are the child's first teacher, and the emotional performance we face in the face of difficulties is a continuation of the child's future encounters. Writer Shi Tiesheng was paralyzed by both legs, his temperament became angry and unhappy, and he vented the cruelty of fate on his mother, but his mother always cared for him with gentle love and resolved his pain with a gentle temperament. A mother with a stable personality and a gentle attitude is the guide of the child's spiritual world. Make good copies of emotions to help children grow;Replicate bad emotions and ruin a child's life. From today onwards, be an emotionally stable mother and face your children with a relaxed attitude:1.Treat things as they matter and avoid emotional backpouring:Emotional backpouring is when one person infiltrates negative emotions into another person. Its performance is usually accompanied by enlargement, exaggeration, and steering. 
It is applied to the parent-child relationship, for example: the child just failed to do well in an exam, but the mother showed the bad emotions caused by the child's carelessness this time. This will only aggravate the child's anxiety and anxiety, so in life, the mother must remember the principle of taking matters into account, unload the child's psychological weight, and remind the child that it is not terrible to do wrong things, and can be corrected. 2.Exercise regularly to increase emotional memory:Exercise is the best way to regulate stress and release emotions. It is recommended that mothers take their children to outdoor sports from an early age, which helps to cultivate children's self-control and emotional power. When children concentrate and replace emotional anger with problem-solving patience, children's learning and Xi ability will gradually improve. 3.Maintain Xi and improve self-awarenessThinking too much and reading too little is the root of our confinement to the same place. Growing mothers will look for answers to their questions in books, read more relevant books, improve their cognition, and broaden their horizons and minds a lot. 02Learn to express
When Jiang Wen participated in a show, the host asked him: "Have you ever had a moment full of a sense of failure?"Jiang Wen replied: "My biggest frustration is my mother's bad evaluation. "In life, there are always some mothers who belittle their children and deny them in the name of love, although they hope that their children can guard against arrogance and rashness in criticism and go to the next level. But for children, demeaning education is only demeaning, not education. As Dale Carnegie said, "People are born to be encouraged." "Children who are immersed in praise are likely to move in a better direction, and if the direction of education is right, children will naturally not go astray. A netizen on Zhihu once shared his mother's education method: when he was Xi a child, his learning ability was very poor, his comprehension was not good, and he often failed exams, but his mother never scolded him, but comforted him: Just don't make mistakes next time. Once, he sadly asked his mother if he was stupid. His mom replied, "You know what?".The bigger the pot, the slower the boiling water, their pot is small, so it opens quickly, but yours has a big pot and has to boil slowly. You may not be as good as others now, but you will do better in the future. Later, he was admitted to the National People's Congress with his mother's encouragement day after day. A wise mother makes a child who thinks she is bad, and it can be said that this is a textbook way of education. The mother's mouth contains the child's confidence;In the mother's mouth, the child's future is hidden. Don't let language become a weapon to hurt people, learn to express positively, you might as well start with the following points:1.Don't say ten words, keep the principles in mind:Don't say things about comparisons, don't say things about complaints, don't say things that scare you, don't say words that are demeaning, don't say things that are dissatisfying, don't say things that are indifferent, don't say things that invade privacy, don't say words that are overly controlling, don't say words that insult people, don't say things that are sarcastic. 2.Be specific and avoid nagging:Usually speak to your child, the more accurate the language, the better, clearly point out the child's problem, and don't say a bunch of things that are not related to the problem. In the long run, children will be able to improve their language and thinking skills in communicating with their mothers. 3.Understand the child and learn to empathize:Learn to empathize, and whenever those hurtful words are about to be spoken, remind yourself to take on the role of the child, and ask yourself how you feel when you hear these wordsChildren's emotions need to be listened to, valued, tolerated, and attentive. 03Tidy up your room
Zhu Zi's Family Motto begins with the words: "Rise at dawn, sprinkle and sweep the court, and clean inside and outside." "A home with a bright and clean window shows the spiritual outlook of the whole family. The mother who keeps the room in order is the guardian of the family's spiritual outlook. After visiting more than 2,000 families for 10 years, a decorator put forward a thought-provoking point of view: whether a family's living conditions are good or not, and whether the children are healthy and sunny, can be seen from the kind of room in which the hostess stays in the house. A messy room can't raise an excellent child. The messy environment disrupts children's ability to concentrate, and the messy family is full of complaints. In the book "Sweeping Power", it is mentioned that a room is an energy field. A chaotic low-energy family environment will probably only raise children with perverse personalities, irritable and irritable. The well-organized room is the best feng shui for a family;A gentle and hardworking mother is the best blessing for a family. Mothers who take their children to clean up the room can start from three aspects:1.Set up partitions to foster a sense of order:Mothers can place several sorting boxes in the room to guide their children to classify and place the things they have used up in a timely manner, so that they can quickly pick them up next time and avoid feeling upset because they can't find them. 2.Do a good job of demonstrating and develop good Xi:Parents are a mirror of their children, the power of action is far greater than preaching, in daily life, mothers need to clean up the household items in time, such as throwing away expired food, disposing of old clothes that are not worn, and cleaning regularly every week. 3.Clear obligations, refining good quality:Teach your child to tidy up his room from an early age, so that he understands that as a member of the family, he also has to take due responsibility. Put away irrelevant things when writing homework, keep your desk tidy, focus, and improve concentration. 04Eat well
Do you still remember the 4-year-old girl Ah Hua who was forced to learn to cook with her mother?Little Ah Hua, picking up a kitchen knife and standing on a stool to learn to chop vegetables, must be distressed by every mother. But the mother who suffered from cancer could only force herself to be ruthless, and she couldn't help on the side, but just told Ah Hua over and over again: "In case your mother is gone, if you get sick, your parents will be very sad, so you must cook hard, eat well, and don't fool." You have to try to be a good child who always smiles at others, is healthy and strong. For the dying mother, teaching her daughter to cook and give her the ability to take care of herself independently is the best "legacy" she left to her daughter. 
Mothers who teach their children to cook seriously on the Internet must be full of love for life, and the children raised will also have a warm heart. The kitchen is steaming so that the family can be healthy;The kitchen is as warm as the sun, and the family can enjoy it. However, in this "fast food era", most people feel that cooking is both troublesome and a waste of time, they are Xi ordering takeout and brushing food short**, but rarely cook home-cooked meals with their families, and accompany each other to eat well. As everyone knows, teaching children to cook can train a person's concentration and problem-solving ability, and eating with children is conducive to children's learning Xi. Some people abroad have studied and concluded that children who eat more than 5 times at home have 2 times more than children who eat less at home, and the proportion of high scores is 2 times higher, and the absenteeism rate is 30% less, which means that in the growth of children, children whose families often eat together have better grades in Xi. This summer, mothers may wish to teach their children to cook some simple meals, accompany their children to eat well, and pour their love for their children into one meal at a time:1.Dare to let go and allow trial and error:Under the premise of ensuring safety, mothers do not have to worry too much about the kitchen being a mess, practice makes perfect, give children the opportunity to try and make mistakes, and they can make progress in correcting mistakes. 2.Timely guidance, positive feedback:Before and after each cooking, mothers encourage their children and give them positive feedback, so that they will be motivated to do better next time. When children experience the hardships of cooking, they will also cherish food and avoid waste when they eat every day. 3.Popular science knowledge, balanced diet:Tell your child that healthy eating Xi is a combination of meat and vegetables, and not picky eaters;When teaching your child to cook, you can talk about what foods you can't eat togetherSupervise your child to eat regularly and quantitatively, overeating is the most undesirable. 05Adjust expectations
Hong Lan, a doctor of psychology, said: "From the perspective of human evolution, the mother is the soul of the family, the mother is happy, the whole family is happy, and the mother is anxious and the whole family is anxious." "A big factor in a mother's anxiety is that she has high expectations for her children and their partner. The child's grades are average, and the mother is anxious;My husband has too little company, and my mother is anxious. Remembering a message from a mother backstage two days ago, her son is already excellent among his peers, with good grades in Xi and can play the violin. For other mothers, such a child is simply a treasure, but she is still anxious, and the point that causes her anxiety is that her son is not good at socializing and is introverted. The anxiety caused by high expectations is like a tsunami, stirring up the peace of the family. There is a sentence in the documentary "Post-Zero" that is very right: parents who have obsessions are always in the shadow of anxiety. No matter how good a child is, it is difficult for a mother to be happy if she just stares at her child's shortcomings. Anxious mothers are a heavy burden on their children, and only by lowering expectations and unloading anxiety can they keep their original intention of raising children. In a child's life, parents are responsible for half of the life, and the child is responsible for the other half. From today on, learn to be relieved of yourself and lower your expectations of the people and things around you1.Steady yourself and refuse to be anxious:No matter what happens, mothers have to tell themselves not to panic. If your child's Xi performance declines, find a teacher to discuss countermeasures and make up for your child's weaknesses. Lose your temper less with the people closest to you, say less complaints, and communicate calmly when you encounter problems. 2.Lower expectations and reject internal friction:Raising a child is like drawing a blind box, if you win the scumbag, think more about the child's advantages, such as being able to cook, unite classmates, be upright, and be physically and mentally healthy. A really powerful mother who never harshly criticizes her children and does not consume her children's energy. 3.Firm footsteps, refuse to roll in:Many mothers saw other children attending cram Xi classes and specialty classes, so they were forced to embark on the road of chicken babies. True education is for mothers to respect the laws of their children's growth, allow their children to slow down, be their best playmates and mentors, and accompany their children to move forward towards the set goals.