Suicide is something that only good people who know how to pay do, and Fugui is not that kind of person.
I'll give you an example, and you'll get the idea.
When I was in PhD, I had a brother who worked very hard.
And he was not smooth, he insisted on choosing our hospital for the doctor, and he only came in after N years of examination.
After coming in, I worked hard, I was in a state of learning every day, I was unkempt, I didn't care about anything, and I was obedient and willing to work.
Later, during a chat, I told him, don't work so hard and make your life so monotonous. Everyone is an ordinary person, you do this, how good a job you have after graduation, how much achievement, you can be balanced in your heart to be worthy of your efforts to suppress all kinds of life emotions today.
Of course, people's personalities don't change because of a word. Later, after he graduated and went to do a doctorate, he got 300,000 yuan a year in Shenzhen. This was a good level in the post-Bo back then, and his prospects for staying there were also good. We all thought it was good, and it was worth his effort.
But he was unhappy, and then he kept complaining, feeling that the work was too rubbish, that he couldn't live in the past, that he didn't get what he wanted, and that he wanted to die every day... Although he didn't really die.
This is the life of a person who suppresses himself at the moment and works hard for the future. Expectations are high, the unhappiness in life will be magnified, and when I look back on the past in my long-term life, I always feel that I have paid so much, suppressed so much, and looked forward to so much, and today's life is not worth it.
Many people who are not worthy of life are living in this way, suppressing themselves, being good people, trying hard to think about good, and the result is as they wishIt's painful
Time has never spared him, but it is a pity that he has obeyed the oppression of time at every moment
So when I look at the future, it is bleak, and it is not worth it to look at the past.
But Fugui is not such a person.
When he was young, he lost all his family wealth by eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling, and he was sorry for his daughter-in-law, his father, and his children.
But what he should have done all his life was done when he was young.
Time has not yet done anything to him, and he has twisted time and fate into a twist by his temperament.
Such a person has no inevitable expectations for the future fate, and does not feel depressed and depressed about his past self
On the contrary, because he is more self-aware among the gangsters, he knows that he was once rotten and chic, and he has no reason to ask for a necessarily good fate. So any gift and turn of time made him feel more than expected
So although there were many accidents in his later life, he had a good wife, and his children were all good children, and when he came back from the army, he had shadow puppetry, and the house was destroyed, and he didn't have to be shot as a big landlord, all of which were beyond the expectations of his life, and he felt that God favored him as a rotten man.
There are many such examples around us.
I said earlier that there is another doctoral brother at the same level, and the elder brother fails the course, plays basketball, and falls in love. The handsome guy rides a bicycle all over the campus with a beautiful wife to attract people's attention, live his own happy little life, and graduate. Later, after graduation, I found a job with a monthly salary of 10,000 yuan, and people thought it was very good, and after graduation, I found a job. It's worth my Ph.D. career. This eldest brother was later recalled to the school by the supervision team because of *** and defended it for the second time. It's nothing, anyway, the fate of twisting into a twist, I don't expect too much. Just deal with the past. But if you work very hard, it has to be a huge hurdle.
So in life, although we don't agree with everyone doing what young Fugui did, the overall tone is still casual, and it's better to be willful.
Fate has given you time, and it's best to live your life the way you like every moment of the day
So when you look back on the past, even if the journey was not smooth
What you think of is that although the years have not spared me, I have not spared the years, how many willful things I have done, I am very happy, although I have suffered but it is worth it
It's not - the years have never spared me, but I have been a slave for the years, and in the end, I didn't catch my fart, and I never lived for myself in my life. Although the annual salary is one million, living in a large flat, and the children and grandchildren are full, everyone is envious, but I always want to die...
The latter is the reason why most modern young people talk about suicide every day.
He is far from going through the hardships of Fugui, and he already wants to die in the face of life. Because he has been a slave of time, it is a great pain in itself, let alone a little setback.
So I think that "Alive" is alive, but it is also talking about a way of living.
A way to live without getting tired of suffering. For ordinary people, suffering is mostly given to you by the outside world, and you can only passively accept it, and it is not unique to the era in which Fugui lived.
In the face of such a world, you need to live freely for yourself even in a short period of youth, instead of being a slave to the years. As long as you have done this, you will accumulate enough energy to fight a lifetime of suffering. And live the joy in the suffering that follows. It's like when there is no one around him, Fugui can still talk to Lao Niu happily.
This thing needs to have planted its own flowers in the heart of the past.
In addition, someone in the answer put forward the idea of finding small fortune in life.
I disagree. You can't live with the mentality of finding a little luck. First, without the layer of living for oneself, Xiao Zhixing does not exist at all. Even if you find one or two scenes, it's not your little luck, it's also the little luck of **publicity, not your little luck. It won't be long before you get bored and question, and in the end, the so-called little luck will disappear in a mirage.
Second, in the world of randomness, neither the big nor the small is there, and even if you try to maintain it, it will dissipate as easily as a mirror. As I said earlier, try to maintain it, work hard to learn to do well, this thing is extremely costly, and once you don't get a reward, your mentality is more likely to collapse. Therefore, you strive to pursue small happiness, and one day if you are not sure, you will be unlucky, you want to die more, and you want to curse the unfairness of fate. From this point of view, Xiao Xing is a **.
Third, the life of living according to one's own temperament is not a small blessing, but more likely to be rough, with the wind wrapped in sand across the face, the potholes under the feet, and the future is uncertain. But when your heart is comfortable, you are willing to enjoy it. That's what gives you energy. And Xiao is lucky. Let me tell you, when you are careful to pursue the maintenance of this thing, your state and your heart are a fragile mess, and the breakfast garden with a bright window is full of sand and flying insects. The large flat floor you clean and the sewer pipe is blocked, it is possible that it will break your luck, make you anxious, and even some people will collapse because of it. This thing just consumes your energy to act, and it doesn't make sense.
So, let's live, just that sentence, as long as you feel that you have not spared the years, whether you are playing, fighting for your career, or doing public welfare. You have the capital to fight against fate.
To live a lifetime, we must first learn to be right, or at least to be right. That's the energy to be alive.
Instead of consuming one's energy to be a slave to time from the beginning, and being a slave for a lifetime, such a life will not be able to live, but will always want to die.
— I'll add a little more metaphysical ---
In his book Antifragility, Taleb mentions that the opposite of fragility is not strength, but antifragility.
Because in the world of random changes, there is no real certainty of being rigid and strong, so when you don't like fragility, are afraid of fragility, and pursue strength, it often backfires.
Therefore, he advocated antifragility. Antifragility refers to not avoiding uncertainty, but rather following it, adapting to it, and growing up in it.
Vulnerability, we all know and we all want to try to avoid.
Therefore, the whole world is advocating the pursuit of the opposite of vulnerability--- strength.
We work hard, suppress ourselves, and tell ourselves that we will be good after working hard, and after we are depressed, we will become superior, that is, we are pursuing a strong, not fragile future.
When we pursue small happiness, we actually want to pursue things that are not fragile and give ourselves a sense of certainty from the words "happiness" and "luck".
But actually, Taleb's book tells us about this certainty of the future, no matter how hard you try. No matter how much he suppressed himself, he didn't exist.
Our own real-life experience also supports the above view, that is, the world before you worked hard and suppressed yourself was highly uncertain, and after you worked hard and suppressed yourself, the world is still so fragile and uncertain, and it does not make your world strong and stable because you work hard.
Just like we joked, when I was in high school, I thought it would be good to be admitted to college, but when I was admitted to college, I found that there was still a risk of not being able to find a job, and after finding a job, I found that there was still a risk of unemployment at the age of 35.
Life is always in flux.
So what to do, don't keep suppressing your nature, and keep trying to create a strong and fragile that doesn't exist at all.
Embrace Taleb's antifragility, accept the fact that uncertainty is always there, live the life you want, and continue to grow in the midst of uncertainty. Continue to support your own growth and water your living life, so that you can not be afraid of losing.
Because in the end of life, you lose everything.
Even Fugui and Lao Niu will lose it too.
But if you live a life of self-willed growth, you will not come in vain.
So I think Yu Hua and Taleb are connected. And judging from his various style of playing football with Stetson, keeping the joy to himself and the sadness to the reader, he is an antifragile practitioner.
I made this one, I don't know what he thinks
— Second ———
So this goes back to a fundamental question, what do people live on in this world?
In fact, it is neither intelligence, nor ability, nor effort.
The most fundamental thing is to see the beauty in your own eyes in this world, and always be willing to live in this world from the bottom of your heart.
Such a person, no matter what situation he encounters, whether he has the ability or not, whether he works hard to live or not, he is relatively happy to live, and he will not always have suicidal thoughts.
This is Fugui, that is, Yu Hua's life.
In practical sense, we have more and more studies showing that the most important thing in educating a child is not to let him learn a bunch of knowledge, but to provide him with a warm and safe family environment and cultivate an optimistic attitude towards life. This helps him to be willing to believe in the good no matter what happens in his life, so that he can be willing to continue to live and experience happiness.
Under other questions from Zhihu, I have also answered, what are the abilities that young people who have just left school should have but are often overlooked?
I say that this ability is by no means the so-called becoming stronger, the so-called emotional intelligence that many people say. He is actually - the ability to find happiness in any situation. There are too many darkest moments in life, only you can shine, you can find happiness, as long as you are happy, you can always guide yourself to go out and live. It's like the "Guardian of the Gods" spell in Harry Potter, and anyone who has ever had a little bit of depression or frustration knows what it means to suck all your happiness out of a kiss. You need to be like Harry and the others to be able to protect yourself by mobilizing the joy in your heart and casting the "Divine Guardian" charm. This is one of the most important spells in the entire book, and one of the most important underlying abilities in life's journey.
But many people don't have it, many people are deprived of their original family and traditional morality, and when we enter society, we must gradually be like Harry and cultivate him by ourselves, otherwise your life will be very painful. It doesn't matter if you're an ordinary person or you're successful in your career. Will.
So, in the end, what makes you want to live, the idea that the world is good?
That must be you living for yourself. Even if not all but partial, if not all of the time, but for a while. Even if you live for someone or someone, as long as you are completely voluntary, and by your own choice. As long as you have lived for yourself, you have experienced that feeling of freedom. You can see the beauty and magnificence of this world.
There will be a reason to live, and there will be a foundation for fighting the suffering of this world. Happiness is also generated. It doesn't matter if you're strong or weak, lucky or miserable. The happiness of being alive, born from your own feelings, does not diminish.
That's what it means to be alive.