I'm sure many people have doubted the world. Someone can make fun of the beautiful scenery; Someone can cut the heart of the candle and dare to set a wildfire. But there are also people who still stick to themselves in places far away from their ideals. After Osamu Dazai finished writing the book "Human Disqualification", he committed suicide by throwing himself into the river, which also made this book be pushed to the altar by many people who thought they were living in the dark corners of the crowd. The phrase "I was born as a human being, I'm sorry" is also bound to this book for some reason. However, as I got older and re-read the book, I suddenly realized:The essence of life should be to be a happy person, not to be in the crowd and lick oneself and misery.
Drifting with the crowd in the group, the protagonist who is not as good as walking alone **, is called Ye Zang, born in a rather old-fashioned family. When Ye Zang was a child, the ten people in the family ate together and were silent, leaving only the sound of the dishes and chopsticks touching the dishes. Their dining place was also slightly dim, and such a scene left a deep impression on Hazo, imprinted on his painful life. Because he was a child, he didn't know why everyone was eating. The adult said that if he didn't eat, he would die, but he just felt that this sentence was threatening him. He felt that eating was just a superstition. From an early age, he lived in chaos and a deep incomprehension of human behavior. Then, he began to play gags to hide the distortion in his heart. No matter what the people in the family say to him, he will not talk back. Even if others spoke ill of him, he just silently endured the attack, but he struggled in his heart. He hides all his thoughts about humanity and pretends to be innocent, and even gradually gets used to thinking of himself as a freak who loves to play funny tricks. When he handed in an essay assignment, he wrote about peeing on the spittoon in the passage of the train car when he and his mother were on the train. This is only done deliberately to show his "innocence". When the teacher finished his homework, his face was flushed, and he smiled, and asked the other teachers to read it too. When he learned about it, he was greatly satisfied. Perhaps, there is a word to describe his behavior, which is "grandstanding". 
In this world, there is such a group of people, even if it is your ordinary behavior, he is very sensitive to want to go somewhere else. And then in order to be decent, they always pretend to be light on the surface, and then they bend to meet them. However, it is in this way that people "actively" integrate into the group and easily lose themselves. Perhaps, you really feel that this makes your interpersonal skills more sleek, but when you are really alone, you will find that you are not getting along with yourself. Le Pen said in "The Rabble": "As soon as people enter the group, their IQ is seriously reduced, and in order to gain recognition, individuals are willing to abandon right and wrong, and exchange their IQ for a sense of belonging that makes people feel safe." But it is this sense of belonging that deceives us into the fact that our souls are not on fire, and we only have interpersonal trade-offs in our hearts. Let's get along with ourselves first. The "warmth" of the group will always paralyze the unsuspecting. Of course, we need a bond with society, but interacting with people is only one part of the story. Just like the extremely difficult to understand Nietzsche, he lived in his own world and became a generation of philosophers, rather than mixing in the crowd of the time. Walking alone is far more comfortable than being bloated in a sea of people. 
is incompatible with the world, and he also has to fall into Dafang Ye to study in Tokyo, and is run through by the two thoughts of "wine" and "suicide". He has always wanted to escape from the distortion of human nature, but when he encounters cigarettes, alcohol and women, he quickly sinks. Even later, it took a shot of morphine to get him out of the paralysis of alcohol. At first, one shot a day, then two, and then four shots a day. The reality had made him very tired, and his penniless state made it difficult for him to walk in the world, so he chose to meet a waitress and jump into the sea. But he was rescued alone, and the waitress was literally killed. After a few tosses, he met the kind Yuko. 
Such an innocent girl seemed to dilute the mud in him, but just when he wanted to start a new life, he unexpectedly witnessed his wife being raped by others. At this point, he was really cornered, and he gave himself an ultimatum: "I have lost the qualification to be a human being." ”Seeking death is his roar of rebellion against the turbid way of the world, his fall, and his deliberate act of perceiving the ugliness of the world. But is this really a good solution? We are all afraid of being deceived by others, but the truth is that we are most easily blinded by ourselves. For many things in the world, it is easy for us to "subconsciously" give biases and then hurt ourselves. Even if we are incompatible with the world, we can be generous. Nietzsche once said, "Every day when you don't dance is a kind of failure to live up to life." "Since we already want to break away, let's not live up to our lives and dance alone every day. "Mourning" should not be the final execution of oneself, after all, people live for a lifetime, and they must be worth it if they are not worth it. Since you have come to this world from afar, why not be generous? 
The essence of life is that a person is alive, and a person is happy There is a sentence in "Human Disqualification": "If there is no sudden joy, there will naturally be no sorrow." At first, this sentence touched me very much, and I suddenly felt that the source of all my sadness was because I wanted to rejoice so much that in the end, there was no joy and sadness came to me. But when I read it again, I realized that this sentence seemed to start in the wrong direction. Because, with grief, joy has meaning. If you don't dare to rejoice out loud in order to guard against grief, then this journey of life is not as valuable as the life of a stone. Ye Zang's life is nothing more than the life of Osamu Dazai himself, and Osamu Dazai's life can be said to be a process of falling into the abyss several times. 
When he was 20 years old, he followed the example of Ryunosuke Akutagawa and swallowed several sleeping pills. But because the amount of medicine was not enough, he could not do it. The second time, he ran to the beach with a café waitress and died in love. In the end, Osamu Dazai was saved, but the girl who went with him died. He committed suicide a total of five times, and on the fifth time, he ended his life without incident. Together with his other lover, he jumped into a river in the western suburbs of Tokyo and drowned. The waists of the two were tied together with red knots. "Don't despair, take your leave. With that, he left the world forever. In fact, it can be seen from this sentence that Osamu Dazai is still very "cute", and he has always wanted to beg for love to the whole world. But why should we cherish the care from the world so much? may be because of the environment in which he lived when he was young, so he had a full desire for a sense of community in his heart. But the essence of life should be that one person lives and one person is happy. Without the tenderness of the outside world, we can also keep ourselves warm. The meaning of the word "disqualification" in the title of the book "Disqualification in the World" is to lose qualifications, that is, "lost the qualification to be a human being" in Ye Zang's mouth. Osamu Dazai borrowed Hazo to once again express his unwillingness to his situation. But Yishu once said: "No matter what, it is always unforgivable for a person to fall for some reason, the more no one loves, the more you must love yourself." Perhaps, we can lighten up right and wrong and publicize our "desires". You can try to eat hyce, you can try to push the limit, but don't fall into it. Of course, there are many "mournings" in life, but those who do not "mourn" not because of their good circumstances, but because they believe in the temporality of pathos. The world is worth it, and so are you. 
Lu Xun once commented on Osamu Dazai: "He lives in his own world, humble and free, he wants to break something, but he has no direction." His pain lies in the fact that he looks at the dark world with his heart. "If you stare at the darkness, the darkness will stare at us. There are too many elements mixed in the world, and this darkness can be said to be very conspicuous. However, there are also other conspicuous colors in the world, such as watermelon to relieve the heat, such as the evening sunset. There are many beautiful things in the world, so why cultivate bitterness. Moreover, the creation of this "Human Disqualification" is not looking for the same kind of "mourning culture" at all, but expressing his own predicament, so that others can be reminded. Even though Hazo was portrayed by Osamu Dazai as extremely pitiful, he was also portrayed as particularly cute. In other words, he longs to be loved, to be noticed. Osamu Dazai has a sentence at the end of the book: "The Aye we know is honest and well-behaved, and if he doesn't drink, no, even if he drinks, he is a good boy like a god." Therefore, this book cannot be regarded as a book of "mourning culture", it is precisely to escape from "mourning". In short, be kind to yourself, even if the crowd is indifferent to you, everyone can bring their own spiritual candle for us to warm. Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.
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