2024 Book of Answers
Speaking of the word middle-aged, I don't know what the feeling is in everyone's hearts?
Some people say that "people are middle-aged", they are helpless in every way, they are old, they are young, and they are under great pressure; Some people also think that it is a good thing that life has crossed a young age group and entered a more rational era.
For the interpretation of middle age, it should be different people, and their understanding is different. It's as if the author inadvertently saw his mother's middle-aged **, the demeanor of the group of middle-aged female friends in **, looking very confused about the future. Therefore, the author is very curious about the state of middle-aged female friends in this era, and she wants to know how they are now.
So, Susan, the author of the book "The Lucky Man". Bayer interviewed 18 middle-aged female friends, these 18 female friends from all walks of life, they have a common feature is that they were all born in the sixties and seventies of the 20th century, this period coincides with the development of globalization and the progress of gender concepts in society, this generation, compared with their mother's generation, has more opportunities in life, and has more exposure to the world.
However, when people reach middle age, are they the same as their female friends many years ago, their lives are full of anxiety, twists and turns or lack of confidence.
After reading this book, we will find that it turns out that the arrival of the middle-aged age, although many of us, especially female friends, are full of health anxiety, workplace anxiety or appearance anxiety, but those things in society that have quietly changed are also benefiting them, and many of them feel that the current middle-aged state is the best in life, and they are lucky.
01 What is the special meaning of the word "middle-aged"?
Speaking of "middle age", many people are "talking about color change", which may be related to the environment in which we live. So, in the eyes of many people, what does middle-aged look like?
At this time, you have entered into marriage, become a parent, and your children have gone to school;
At this time, you always inadvertently think of what the ancients said, "stand at thirty";
At this time, when you get up every day, you will always pay attention to whether there will be spots on your face and so on.
In addition to this, you are middle-aged, which means that your parents are slowly getting older, so we need to spend more time taking care of them.
At work, you can't help but feel that new colleagues are always so energetic, but you always feel powerless.
and so on, so many people are tired when they reach middle age.
However, thinking about it on the other hand, compared with when we were teenagers, aren't we more calm today than when we were young? I don't think there's anything wrong with that age when you do things with righteousness, by feeling, and by impulse, and gradually being replaced by deep thought, prudence, and responsibility.
At present, we are already at the age of "two" after graduating from college, and we can determine the direction of our life before the age of 30, and do a good job, I think we are all people who awaken early. However, for ordinary people, if they do not have a painful heart-wrenching and painful awakening, they should awaken and then seriously think about their own life direction, which is relatively rare, but it does not mean that there is none.
Especially for female friends, at this stage of their lives, many people are on the way to giving birth to the next generation.
As for the anxiety about appearance, I personally think that it is normal to get old, but how to make your appearance old and not old is what we need to pay attention to. If a person lives to middle age and never ages in appearance, isn't that also quite scary?
I think that whether it is "youth", "middle-aged" or "old", it is actually the state of life that we should be in our lives, and it is not something that can be changed because we are anxious. However, I think that at the moment, no matter what state we are in, we should be satisfied with ourselves.
02 The past, present and future of "middle-aged women".
In this book, the author separates the story of yesterday, today, and tomorrow about "middle-aged women." Among them, yesterday is the state of the generation of middle-aged women's mothers, today is the new birth of the middle-aged female representatives interviewed today, and tomorrow is the new women.
The focus is on today's women, in their stories, we see that they in different occupations, the first twenty or thirty years of their lives were not exposed to the Internet, some of them experienced World War II, some experienced the Cold War, some met East and West Germany, the ups and downs of life, social changes, to the moment of middle age, but they can look at everything in life very calmly.
Perhaps, in the years they have passed, there have also been social changes. In the changes in society, it has had a counter-effect on their lives.
They no longer aim for their families, they boldly come into society, they go into factories, they become self-employed, they become actors, models, or politicians. These changes seemed unimaginable to their mother's generation.
Isn't it the same with us today? When we put ourselves in the shoes of our generation and talk to the elders of our family, they will think at first that it is incredible. Then, slowly, as they slowly come to terms with our way of life, they are also understandable.
Today, if we plan to go to a place, we use the Internet, do a guide, buy a ticket, arrange everything for the trip, and then go. When we see those places that are different from our daily lives, we will feel that the world is so big, and we know too little after all.
However, for their parents' generation, they may feel that the world outside the radius has little to do with us, and we must always live the present life well.
So, which way is better? I don't know. Because society is changing, concepts are changing, values are changing, no one can guarantee that the other party's opinion is right.
03 The key to "their" happiness lies in attitude.
Therefore, many times in life, whether we are happy or not depends on our attitude of loving life. Just like the female friends in the book, after many years, they also dare to stand in front of the public, they also dare to end their marriages that are not suitable for them, and they also dare to boldly say their life pursuits.
When they have done all this, they are no longer afraid of the eyes and opinions around them, they no longer judge themselves from the perspective of others, and they are no longer embarrassed about their choices.
That's where the progress of society lies.
We can't say that we have always emphasized equality between men and women, and then felt that it was a gift for girls to have the opportunity to go to school, so in return, we should give more in the family to eliminate this imbalance after being gifted.
More importantly, we truly realize the equality of men and women, including women themselves, in terms of social life and social concepts. It is undeniable that similar concepts have been put forward for a long, long time, but we women ourselves will still live in this cage. To this day, even if female friends have received higher education and injected a lot of new ideas, we can still see the signs of patriarchy when they treat their daughters.
In this book, when the author translates the term "stereotype of women", he always translates it as "stereotype of women", which always feels strange when reading it. In fact, not only in our country, but in many corners of the world, women are expected to stay at home.
However, society is changing faster than we can renew our ideas. So, in the 18 women interviewed in the book, they are brave and at the same time they are lucky. Because they jumped out of the barrier, they found that the original world did not collapse, but allowed them to find their true selves.
Anyone, when he or she reaches middle age, wants not to be confused, in fact, he has to make his life worthwhile in this world, and the definition of value is not given by the outside world, but the recognition of self that we gradually explore in the long river of years.
Therefore, the most important thing why these middle-aged women live so happily is their mentality. If you have a good mentality and can see yourself, your life will naturally be positive.