Some narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or narcissists choose to "relapse" during the holiday season, why do NPD or narcissists choose to relapse during the holiday season? And how should we deal with "holiday retraction"?
1.Because the "hollow man" is even more hollow when it comes to the festival
Narcissists do everything for their own sake, so that they can get their narcissistic provisions. They are well known"Hollow Man", no self-esteem, erratic self-perception, empty heart. They cannot find the value of their own existence from the inside, and must rely on external praise and worship, that is, narcissistic supply, to fill the emptiness in their hearts. Whenever the festival comes, the bustling crowd and the atmosphere of laughter and laughter are like a mirror, reflecting how nihilistic the narcissist's heart is.
In addition, in daily life, narcissists can also enrich their lives through regular work and study, so that the emptiness in their hearts is temporarily hidden. However, when the holidays come, everyone has more free time, and the hollowness of the narcissist becomes more and more prominent. At this time, they need more narcissistic supplies from the outside world, so they are more likely to think of their former victims.
2.Festivals can disrupt our rhythms
The atmosphere of the festival often makes people unconsciously let their guard down, like the "big festival" that everyone often says. However, this sense of relaxation can sometimes make us feel less boundary and vigilant. It's like going to a party with a narcissist in the presence of a narcissist, and on a normal day, we probably don't talk to the narcissist. But the warm atmosphere of the festival or the help of other people makes us think: "Don't be angry about small things." So we chatted with them. For narcissists, this response is exactly the flaw they expect. They know that suck-back during the holiday season is more likely to be successful. Narcissists are keenly aware of our laxity and take advantage of it.
How do we deal with "holiday suck-back"?
1.Again, be clear about your sense of boundaries
Again, we can be clear about our boundaries, and if we think we have solid boundaries in place, we can also emphasize the importance of our boundaries to ourselves. Narcissists are likely to use some of the more subtle ways to intrude on our borders, such as playing the victim and secretly expressing nostalgia. We have to tell ourselves that this is just a common tactic for narcissists, that they just need more narcissistic provisions, that they just find it easier to get their hands on during the holiday season.
2.Remind yourself how much effort it took to recover
When dealing with a narcissist's holiday relapse, we need to keep reminding ourselves of how much energy we have put into recovery. Cutting ties with narcissists is never easy, and if you reconnect with them, all your previous efforts and pain will be in vain. Narcissists don't change, and if we experience a narcissist's hurt once, don't go through it again.