Hello Mr. Shu, I want to talk about my sad marriage today. I'm a flight attendant who looks beautiful to outsiders, the scumbag is a college classmate, we got married as soon as I graduated, and now it's been 5 years, and after marriage, he works in a local state-owned enterprise, working 9 to 5. Because of my profession, I need to fly around a lot, which leaves room for the scumbag to operate (because the time when I fly in the sky is uncontactable, as long as I know the flight number, you can find out when I took off and landed).
I found out that the clue was a casual sentence between our friends during a meal, the scumbag had a period of time at night while playing cards with them while constantly sending WeChat to people, and that time period was the time when I was flying, so it was definitely not sent to me.
After I went home, I directly egged on him, and asked him to sit on the sofa and stare at me without speaking, (here I can also see that he thinks that the adultery is seamless, and he didn't expect me to ask suddenly) The moment the corners of his mouth seem to move, I already have the answer, and a few more detailed questions will be a full trick of 1510.
After understanding all the situation, I planned to drag the scumbag straight to the Civil Affairs Bureau on the 2nd day, and cut it off, but I still can't let go of it, after all, I have a relationship with the scumbag, although in the future life of the two people, the scumbag can give me is also limited.
He has an average appearance, his income is not as good as mine, his career development is average, and he is still very lazy. Sometimes after the late flight landed, I called ** and asked him to drive to pick me up, and most of him also pushed that he was too tired to let me drag my suitcase back by myself, and on the days when I didn't fly at home, I would often drive to Sam a few kilometers away to buy his favorite steak for him to fry. Thinking about it, this relationship seems to have always been what I actually paid a lot, he basically only mouthed (scumbags will provide more emotional value), and I've always been used to this, if this hadn't happened, I thought it would be good to live like this, but what should I do now?
Reading your letter, I feel very sad and puzzled. What are you reluctant to keep this kind of man? What is the emotional value of the mouth on the figure? Since you didn't tell me much about it, I had to talk briefly about your problem based on experience.
Among the students who came to me for consultation, there is a type called "Little Red Riding Hood", as the name suggests, like Little Red Riding Hood in fairy tales, always very naïve, always silly and sweet, and is used to looking at everything with fairy tale thinking about marriage and love.
For example, a man is willing to marry him in a flash marriage and a naked marriage with his rhetoric; The man has been divorced three times, and he still thinks that I am going to marry such a man, and I am in true love with him; It doesn't matter if a man owes a lot of debt before marriage, love is bigger than the sky, and he is full of love ......
Completely ignoring the objective factors of reality, and having no reason and judgment emotionally, such a woman will be played to death by a man sooner or later.
This kind of student often starts to cry during the consultation, and after crying, you ask her what she is going to do next? Most of her faces are dazed, at a loss, she doesn't have the courage to leave, and she is unwilling to continue, and she is trapped in mental internal friction every day.
Next, whether you are divorced or not, I think the first thing you should do is not to be Little Red Riding Hood, and to do this, you need to understand the following knowledge points first.
Don't think that power is only talked about in the workplace, and the use of power is inseparable from marriage relationships.
Both people are independent-minded individuals who want to be their own masters, and at the same time have to constantly obey each other to maintain a relationship. The problems in marriage often revolve around who listens to whom, and this ability is the power in the marital relationship.
Two people start from attracting each other and having a good impression of each other, and after getting along, the passion fades, and they gradually discover the real each other, see some of each other's shortcomings, and then enter a period of high incidence of conflict, that is, a period of struggle for power.
During this period, you start a power game with each other, fighting, escaping, compromising, and retreating, and then you will either separate, or there will be constant conflicts implicit or explicit, or mutual benefit and win-win, mutual compromise, or structural adjustment into a beautiful relationship.
Let me tell you this emphasizes that the purpose of the power struggle is ultimately to obtain equal joint decision-making, so that the game of inner demands of both parties can be mutually beneficial and win-win or mutually compromised.
To put it mildly, in your current relationship, your power is extremely weak, if you need it, you can pay attention to my backstage private message, I will teach you how to adjust, help you do a healthy power struggle, by improving self-esteem, positive sense of let you benefit in every future relationship.
On the positive side, you have realized the power imbalance in your relationship and have started to seek outside help, so remember one thing: you are starting to move forward with a lot of energy, don't look back, because retrograde is the full responsibility!
It's not terrible for a man to cheat, the difficult thing is that you have to have the means and methods so that you can protect your marriage and interests.
If you have also encountered a marriage crisis, or suffered a betrayal, and you don't know what to do, you can contact me, follow my account, send me a private message, I will reply one by one, and help you analyze and give you tips.
Marriage