The daughter-in-law was pregnant with her second child and made 3 requests to her mother-in-law, and the 65-year-old mother-in-law replied that you don't love to give birth
Since ancient times, it has been said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is complicated, and they are both women, so why should they be difficult with each other? The reason why the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship is difficult to get along is that both parties fail to properly handle each other's positions in the first place. On the one hand, the daughter-in-law expects her mother-in-law to give all-round help, but she is unwilling to be truly filial to her mother-in-law. Some mothers-in-law have paid money and effort but have not received a good response, and some have rules for everything.
Since the children are married, they are adults, and many things should be borne by themselves. However, there are still many daughters-in-law who take their mother-in-law for granted to bring their grandchildren, and some even regard not providing for the elderly as a threat. How can such an attitude not make the old man feel cold?
65-year-old Aunt Zhang had such an experience. When her daughter-in-law was pregnant with her first child, she put in her heart's work, but she still did not receive her daughter-in-law's respect. After learning that her daughter-in-law was pregnant with her second child, Aunt Zhang not only did not rejoice, but felt panicked. What made her even more angry was that her daughter-in-law actually put forward three conditions, which made Aunt Zhang ask angrily: "The child is yours, are you still alive!" ”
What exactly made Aunt Zhang go through this? Let's hear from her:
My surname is Zhang, I am 65 years old and I am a retired employee. My wife and I have a son who is his classmate. The two have been together for more than 2 years, and when they are in love, my daughter-in-law often comes to my house, she is small and eloquent, and my wife and I like her very much.
Later, my son got married, and we originally had a house, but my daughter-in-law thought that the location was not good, so she had to sell it and buy it again. For this reason, my wife and I sold the house and borrowed less than 300,000 yuan from relatives. When someone else's son gets married, the parents are relieved, but we are in debt. I felt so stressed that I even suffered from insomnia. My wife persuaded me that as long as the two of us were in good health, we would save some flowers, and we would slowly pay it back.
I think about it, as long as my son and daughter-in-law are doing well, it is worth it for my wife and I to suffer.
My daughter-in-law became pregnant in the second year of marriage, and I had not yet retired. Considering that my daughter-in-law had no one to take care of her, and my mother-in-law had retired, I went to her to discuss and hope that she would be able to take care of my daughter-in-law. After all, they are biological mothers and daughters, and they take care of them more intimately than me.
My mother-in-law agreed, but my daughter-in-law made a face to me when she came over for dinner. What she meant was that if someone was a grandmother who didn't bring grandchildren, she also hinted to me that the mother-in-law of their office colleague didn't bring grandchildren, so they had to pay for it.
I understood what she meant, but I was nervous, and my relatives still owed money. Later, I discussed with my wife, thinking that this is our grandson, and we can't have conflicts with my daughter-in-law because of this matter, which will affect her body and the relationship between the young couple. So, I promised to give my daughter-in-law 3,000 yuan from my salary every month.
My daughter-in-law gave birth to a grandson and was confined, and I went over every weekend to help. My mother-in-law took good care of my daughter-in-law and grandson, and I didn't dare to be idle when I went, helping to wash clothes and clean up. My daughter-in-law kept saying how hard her mother was, and I was a little upset to hear it. I said, "It's not like I can't help it, I haven't retired yet, and I'm going to work hard for my mother for the time being!" ”
The mother-in-law hugged her grandson and smiled: "You are a ready-made grandmother, if you don't contribute money or effort, your grandson will grow up." ”
I felt sick when I heard this. Not to mention that I come over every weekend to help, I also spend 3,000 yuan a month to buy milk powder diapers for my grandson. It's not interesting to continue arguing now, but it makes everyone unhappy. So, I stopped talking and went back to work.
When our grandson was full moon, we wrapped a red envelope of 10,000 yuan for him. Originally, we were short of money, and I only wanted to pay 5,000 yuan, but my wife wanted the children to be happy, in fact, I knew that my wife could not save any more. My salary is 3,000 yuan per month for my daughter-in-law, and my wife's money is used to pay off relatives, and we only have a few hundred yuan left as living expenses. Sometimes we both go to the market a few times and are reluctant to buy groceries.
When acquaintances saw us holding a little vegetable and tofu in our hands, they laughed at us. I hurriedly explained that the doctor advised us to eat lighter because we all have high blood pressure. In fact, we know in our own hearts, but we are not willing to spend money.
My grandson's expenses are paid out every month, and I retired when my grandson went to kindergarten. I replaced my mother-in-law and went to my son's house every day to pick up my grandson and do some housework by the way. I discussed with my son that now that my grandson is older, I can no longer give 3,000 yuan and keep the money for my relatives. The son agreed, but the daughter-in-law disagreed.
She first said that it costs a lot to raise children, and then said that the family costs a lot. But I watched her buy cosmetics for thousands of yuan, which was half a year's living expenses for me and my wife, and I felt distressed when I looked at it. My daughter-in-law is very strong, crying and making trouble, I can only compromise and continue to give this money. I still pick up and drop off my grandchildren and do housework for them every day.
Finally, my grandson went to elementary school, we stopped giving 3,000 yuan, I didn't go to my son's house to do housework, my wife also retired, and the money I owed to relatives was paid off. I told my wife that in the future, the two of us will take good care of our retirement salaries, save them in addition to food and clothing, and guard each other to provide for the elderly.
In the past two years, we have deliberately kept our distance from our son and daughter-in-law, and we have rarely been in contact except for the weekly when they come back for dinner. To be honest, I was scared of life in the past few years, and my only hope is that my wife and I can live a more relaxed life and live a simple life. It's only been 2 years since the good days, and one day the daughter-in-law came back and announced a "good news".
The daughter-in-law said that she was pregnant, and she had been preparing for pregnancy for a long time before, because her office colleagues had given birth to a second child, and she was very envious of people having children and daughters, so she also wanted to have a daughter, making up a "good" word. Now that my wish has been fulfilled, my wife is very happy, but I can't be happy at all, but I am faintly worried about myself.
Sure enough, my daughter-in-law had new requirements for me this time. She said: "Mom, whether it is male or female, it is your grandson in my belly, you and Dad can't ignore it." Now that both of you are retired, I don't have to worry about having no one to take care of the children. It's just that we're nervous on hand, you know to raise two children, we can't afford to raise them! ”
The daughter-in-law then said that her office colleague's mother-in-law gave money to hire a nanny and a confinement center. I can't listen to a word, I want to say that every family's situation is different, you can't just ask for us just because someone else has it.
The daughter-in-law then said, "Mom, I've thought about it. You haven't retired before I gave birth to a son, so now I'll give you a chance to bring your grandson personally. In the future, I will leave all the affairs of the family to you, and besides, it is not convenient for me to do housework while I am pregnant, so you can continue to come to my house to help me pick up my grandson, cook and do housework. ”