It is better to marry a second marriage than to divorce, what does it mean to be married or divorced?
Folk sayings about marriage and love, such as "the third female college student, hug the gold brick", "one generation has no good wife, three generations have no good children", etc., reflect the importance that ancient people attached to marriage and family.
In ancient feudal society, due to the inferiority of men and women and the women's requirements of "three obedience and four virtues", these proverbs attributed the happiness of married life to women.
It is better to choose a second-married beauty than to marry a divorced husband", this is the wisdom warning of the ancients for choosing a mate. Do you know the meaning of this sentence?
To understand the meaning of this sentence, we need to first understand two of the terms: "second flower" and "bereaved person".
The words "second flower" and "left behind", although ostensibly refer to a woman whose flowers bloom again and whose husband has died, are actually metaphorical. "Second degree flower"It refers to a divorced woman who marries again"Left behind"It refers to a woman who has lost her husband, which is what we often say"Widow"。
These two words imply that even after the trials and tribulations of life, it is still possible for people to start over and find their own happiness again.
I would rather choose a divorced woman than a widow. "What is the reason and rationale behind this statement? Let's explore it together. In the past, marriage was decided by parents and matchmakers, and it was difficult for most young people to see each other before they got married, so even if the woman was dissatisfied with the marriage, she had to resign herself to fate.
Coupled with the moral bondage of three from four virtues, divorce is very rare. It was not until the Tang and Song dynasties that the status of women improved, and women who dared to divorce began to appear.
Why do you advocate marrying a divorced woman instead of a widowed man? There are two reasons for this: First, a divorced woman who has experienced a failed marriage will cherish this opportunity if she still has the desire to start a family.
For men, marrying such a wife is like picking up a priceless treasure, because it ensures a more stable and happy marriage and family.
Divorced women remarry, because the dowry and ceremonies are not demanding, so it can reduce the financial pressure on the man's family and make the married life smoother. The main reason why men are reluctant to marry "widows" (widows) is that due to the death of their husbands, women are regarded by the society as "mourning stars" and "broom stars", thinking that they have killed their husbands, which is a foolish feudal idea.
In the patriarchal society of the past, there was an old saying that "there are many widows at the door". When a husband dies, the tasks and responsibilities that were previously carried out by men now fall to women.
This means that women have more opportunities to appear in society, and with it, more gossip about women. Therefore, poor reputation is an important factor in men's refusal to marry widows.
The last reason is that widows usually have one or more minor children and elderly in-laws. If the husband has siblings, they may choose to ignore the in-laws.
But it is very difficult for a woman to raise a minor child alone. Therefore, if a man intends to marry such a woman, he must be mentally prepared to raise children for others, which is not only rhetoric, but also requires real financial commitment.
Faced with this burden, many men choose to retreat.
Either way"Second marriage"Still"The people who stayed"These titles reflect the unfair treatment of women in feudal society and the disrespect for women who have suffered misfortunes in their married lives.
We should look critically at this concept of the ancients and remove the irrational part of it. As women in modern society, we should exert the power of half the sky, have the ability, the right, and the reason to fight for our own happiness, and to hell with all prejudice and discrimination!
Whether you are going through a divorce or a widowed lady, remember that happiness is in your own hands!