1. Take a bath with a friend, and the friend wants to rub the ......I didn't find a scrubbing master. He shouted at the top of his voice: Is there any rubbing in the bath? An uncle in the pool replied, "Young man, rub it for me."
2In front of a barbecue stall in Guangzhou, a customer is trying to grill his own meat. He accidentally roasted the meat, and it was like black charcoal. When the stall owner saw it, he smiled and said, "This is our 'special charcoal grill' here." The surrounding customers were amused, and the customers were embarrassed to laugh, and the atmosphere became very relaxed.
3 grew so big that he didn't learn anything else, so he mastered a special skill that he could sleep peacefully without sleeping pills during the day and get excited without stimulants at night.
4. My niece usually likes to watch emotional TV dramas with me. One day I caught a cold and kept coughing while watching TV, and my niece suddenly put a handkerchief in front of me. I was puzzled and asked her: What is this for? The bear child said: Auntie, it's been a long time to cough, it's time to **!
5 There was a man who went to school, and he was a freshman, and because his head was like a brick, his classmates called him a brick man, and he was very annoyed.
One day, he wanted to see if his head looked like a brick, so he walked to the well and looked down, and suddenly, a voice came from the bottom of the well: Don't scare me with bricks, you can throw it down and try it!
6 When I was in my senior year, I went downstairs after self-study one day, thinking that the person in front of me was a roommate, so I secretly ran forward and kicked him in the ass hard, and shouted: You actually came from self-study?! The man rubbed his ass and looked back at me pitifully, trembling and saying, "Yes." After looking at each other for a few seconds, I was hesitating how to apologize, and the man replied: Big brother, I am a freshman, and I will not dare in the future!
7F: Husband, describe my face.
M: Your face is like the vast night sky!
F: Wow! It's very charming!
M: yes! It's big, it's dark, and there are as many pimples as stars!
8Yesterday my son told us a shocking secret, and at dinner yesterday, my son told us that he had a girlfriend, and the girl liked him very much, and he liked the girl too, and said that he would give him another 5,000 ...... after marriageThis bride price is indeed not expensive, but son, it's only the second grade of primary school, why are you in a hurry?
9 In the final English exam, the second-to-last in the class asked for the answer from the penultimate to the first-to-last, and the penultimate handed him the answer. After the results came out, the penultimate was still the first, but the penultimate was admitted to the middle of the class. The penultimate one is puzzled, and the penultimate one explains: After doing multiple-choice questions and excluding the answers you and I chose, the accuracy rate will be relatively high.
Kneel, it can only be said that people who are good at summarizing are the masters of the 21st century!
10The first time I watched TV and cried was in "Journey to the West" Tang Seng insisted on driving away Sun Wukong, I sat on the small bench and scolded Tang Seng while crying, that grievance and grief were useless. The first time I watched a movie and cried was "Mom Loves Me Again", the school chartered the venue, and the whole movie theater was full of crying, I cried and sweated profusely, came out and was blown by the cold wind, and went to the hospital with a high fever at night, and the whole family said that I was "a child with heavy feelings since I was a child".
11A man tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Dude, have you lost your wallet?" When I touched it, I broke out in a cold sweat: "It's really lost!" Thank you for reminding me. The man walked away with a muttering to himself: "No wonder I didn't get it for a long time." ”
12. A beautiful woman participated in a dating activity and filled in her personal information as required.
After returning to the dormitory, the beauty complained: "Oops, I wrote the occupation and zodiac sign backwards!" ”
The friend comforted him: "What's the big deal, most people can understand it." ”
The beauty said with a slight cry: "The key is that I belong to the chicken!"
13 There was a second goods and a few buddies to go to the skewers, after eating he went to check out, the boss said 102 yuan.
He discussed with the boss: Boss, boss, can you wipe it off? The boss said, "Okay."
So he took out 12 yuan and gave it to the boss. The boss looked at the 12 yuan and said for a long time: I have opened a restaurant for several years, and I have never heard of it with erasure from the middle!