1 In the afternoon, I was hungry and saw a bottle of yogurt on my colleague's table, so I drank it without thinking about it, and after a while, my colleague came and shouted: "Why is my facial cleanser gone!" 108 pieces! Brother didn't speak, just silently walked to the toilet, picked his throat, old and uncomfortable, spit things desperately, until he spit out sour water, finally vomited almost, tears dripped back to his seat, my colleague hugged a bottle and said: "I'm scared to death, the facial cleanser rolled under the table, why is my yogurt gone." Brother scolded in his heart: ......Drink some yogurt and put people to death.
2. On the weekend, my boyfriend came to play at home and pulled me to teach me to play games. I wasn't interested in the game, so I couldn't play it well, so my boyfriend slapped me on the head and said, "Why aren't you stupid?" Bai He ignored him and continued to learn the game, and then "snapped" and slapped me again, scolding angrily: "Stupid! This slap hurt me, and I stood up with my eyes wide open and my fists clenched. At this time, the niece who was doing her homework hurriedly came over and asked her boyfriend: "Are you surnamed Wu Song?" The boyfriend shook his head and said no, and the niece continued: "I know that I am not Wu Song, why don't you run away when the tigress is powerful?" ”
3 Last night in the gym, a buddy dumbbell took off his hand and smashed directly on his feet, screaming in pain, the gym was like a fried pot! Hilarious! ......Hahahaha......And then ......Then I laughed so hard that I fell off the treadmill and rolled straight down ......That's right! It's rolling down! ......So the gym set off another burst of hilarious ......I feel that I was sent by heaven to save that buddy!
4 The Chinese foreigner is named Jack, who is very passionate about Chinese culture and can even speak Chinese fluently. One day, Jack went to a Chinese restaurant for dinner, and he ordered a famous Chinese dish, mapo tofu. The waiter quickly brought the dish up, and Jack took a bite and found it to be very spicy. He asked the waiter, "Why is this dish so spicy?" The waiter replied, "This is mapo tofu, of course it's spicy!" When Jack heard this, it suddenly dawned on him that "Mapo" means "very spicy mother-in-law"!
5. Usually the salary is handed over to my wife to manage, and today I said to my son: "Dad wants a class reunion, go and ask Mom to give 1,000 yuan." ”
After a while, he came back with a hard hand and said, "Take it yourself." ”
I asked, "Take what?" ”
He said, "Mom said to give you a hammer." ”
6. Take your son to visit the second elder. I was chatting with my dad in the living room, and my dad said, "Do you remember the painter Uncle Liu?" I'm going to learn how to draw with him now. The peacocks he painted are perfect and invincible in the world. As he was talking, his son ran out of the study and praised: Grandpa, the rooster you drew is so beautiful!
When I was 7 years old, my family was very poor and there was very little good food. One day, my mother went to be a guest and brought me a chicken leg to eat at school, in order to prevent the chicken leg from being snatched up by my classmates, I deliberately asked for leave from class. Then I will never forget that the teacher saw that I hadn't come back to look for me for too long, and saw me in the toilet, ...... while pulling poop and nibbling on chicken legsLater, I caught fire in our school.
8 On a starry night, mother and son were playing in the yard. The mother said to her son, "Baby, how many stars are there in the sky?" The son raised his head and counted it earnestly, and after a while, he said, "Mom, it's too dark to count, wait until dawn to count."
9One day my husband asked me, "What will you do if I die?" I said, "Go shopping and eat with your girlfriends and keep up the fun." Then I asked him, "What will you do if I die?" He said viciously: "Go shopping and eat with your girlfriends." ”
10A woman suffered an accident, and her boyfriend donated a lot of his own blood to her in order to save him!
But it didn't take long for the negative woman to break up with her boyfriend!
The boyfriend shouted angrily: "Want to break up? Then pay off my blood first!! ”
The woman threw the sanitary napkin in the boy's face and scolded, "Give! I'll pay you back in monthly installments! ”
11. The purpose of marriage is so strong
Man: "Will you marry me?" ”
Woman: "You've known me for so long, why did you propose to me now?" ”
Man: "Because I'm timid and afraid of death, I'm ......."”
Woman: "Then why do you dare to propose to me now?" ”
M: "Because I read the newspaper yesterday, and it said that according to statistics, men who are married live longer than those who are single. ”