In social situations, we often encounter some high-sounding banquets, and the reasons for these banquets may sound very weighty, but they are a little resistant. For example, the neighbor's aunt suddenly comes to invite you to dinner on the grounds that it is her sonFinal examGood grades. The aunt also emphasized that there was no need to bring gifts, as if it was just a warm social interaction between neighbors. But in reality, those who are invited must have some concerns, can they really enjoy her hospitality empty-handed? But face is a tricky issue, and in order to avoid embarrassment, we often take out some small gifts or red envelopes for the sake of our face.
In fact, this kind of banquet is not formal, and its purpose is only to gain profit. Banquets that treat you like an ATM are not worth attending. For example, some company leaders ask employees to pay for the funeral of their mother-in-law, who is at home for various inexplicable reasons. This kind of reason is tantamount to a kind of blackmail against employees, and there is no reason at all. It is infuriating that workers are asked to pay for people who have nothing to do with them because of their limited income.
Therefore, when we receive an invitation, we need to learn to discern whether it is worthy of attending and accompaniment. We should resolutely refuse those banquets that clearly treat you as an ATM, and don't passively pay for the sake of face.
After middle age, we often receive sudden banquets from classmates and friends who have not been in touch for a long time. They may get married, have a child full moon, have an elder in the family pass away, etc., and I hope we can come over and bless them and catch up on the old days by the way. How should we respond to such an invitation?
Many times, we may not remember who the other party is, and even wonder if we have met**. But no matter who the other person is, they are all inviting you to a celebration of an important event. For this reason, we may struggle with whether to attend or not, and how many gifts to bring. In fact, we can completely treat it as if we didn't see the invitation, or use "something" as an excuse, because this kind of sudden invitation can be said to be inconvenient to attend. People who really value and maintain friendships will not go untouched for a long time, and they will not think of you until something happens. These people who clearly made you give your physical strength to help and contribute money in the past are not worth maintaining a relationship with.
The relationship between friends and buddies is not cultivated by courtesy. True friends, even if you don't bring a gift to the past, they won't change their minds and sneer at you. We don't need to be embarrassed to refuse for the sake of face, we have to learn to empathize, if someone we haven't been in touch with for a long time suddenly invites us, will we really be invited?
Therefore, for a sudden banquet that has not been contacted for a long time, we can take it as an excuse that we have not seen it, or use it as an excuse that we can't go because we don't have time to go, because this kind of invitation is not worth attending, and the person who invited you will probably not remember you. The important thing is that affection is not maintained by courtesy, and not giving money does not cut off our relationship with our friends.
In social situations, we often encounter some casual gifts. Usually, the invitees will attend the banquet and give a certain amount of red envelopes according to the principle of courtesy. Both parties feel that it is a fair exchange to give gifts to each other. But in some cases, the exchange of gifts becomes unfair.
The first situation is that there is a problem with the character of the owner. In order to get money and gift money, some people send invitations to relatives and friends in various names. The invitee will attend according to etiquette and give a suitable gift money, because I feel that there is a relationship, I gave it to you, and you will give it to me. However, there are some people who are thick-skinned and they attend when you get married, but on their ownWeddingsbut you were not invited. In this case, by attending their banquet and giving them money, we are actually giving them money in vain. Therefore, when we find that the other party is not genuinely friendly, but only for the sake of profit, we should decisively refuse the other party's invitation and do not follow the courtesy.
The second situation is that the situation of the two parties is not equal. Some people are wealthier, andEconomyThe strength is very strong, and they will generally give a relatively large amount of money. And some peopleEconomyRelatively poor, unable to give large gifts. In this case, if the invitee gives less or no money, it may make the host upset. However, this situation is not fair because of everyone'sEconomyAbilities are different, and we cannot use this to measure one person's kindness and concern for another. Therefore, when the situation is not equal, we should not be courteous for the sake of face. We should take it with our ownEconomyAbility prevails, don't be embarrassed because you are disliked by the master's family.
Therefore, we should learn to refuse the gift that comes and goes. Only if the relationship between the two parties is good and genuinely friendly, gifts should be given according to the principle of reciprocity.
In our lives, it is common for family and friends to have dinner parties. Sometimes we get invitations one after another, and there may be several dinners a week. How should we deal with such a situation?
First, we need to learn to decline invitations appropriately. Some people want to show off their ownSocialStatus and interpersonal relationships, like to invite relatives and friends frequently, hoping to gain face in this waySuperiority。However, such feasts are often meaningless and purely for show-off. We should take our own time and energy as the standard, and not participate for the sake of the other person's face. They may feel upset if we decline the other person's invitation, but we can't afford to sacrifice our time and energy for the sake of someone else's feelings.
Secondly, for those who invite you frequently, we must also learn to keep a proper distance. In order to make a good appearance in the social circle, some people will frequently invite friends and family and expect more gifts. For such people, we should be vigilant and not passively pay for the sake of other people's face. We need to remember that true friendship and affection are based on sincerity and mutual respect, not through frequent gatherings and expensive gifts.
Finally, we need to learn to participate in the banquet between family and friends. Whether it's a family dinner or a gathering of friends, it's important to get involved in moderation. We can attend important occasions to celebrate and enjoy food with family and friends. But we also need to learn to control our spending and not spend money blindly for the sake of face. We're going to base ourselves on our ownEconomyAbility to decide how much to give, rather than being swayed by the expectations of others.
In short, for the problem that there are four non-followers, we must learn to distinguish whether it is worth participating and following the ceremony, and do not passively pay for the sake of face. We need to maintain the ability to think independently and make our own choices, and not blindly cater to the expectations and requirements of others. Only in this way can we confidently face various manners and rules in social situations, and maintain our values and principles.