When it comes to exploring the mysteries of children's success, it seems that every parent has a unique map in mind, but there is no definite destination. I've asked many parents what they see their child's success looks like, but few have been able to give a clear definition. The road to education seems never-ending and lacks a unified standard, despite the desire to do better.
A child's growth is like an endless relay race. In the beginning, we just begged them not to "mess up", but once they got out of this state, new goals would emerge. We never seem to be satisfied, always looking for more. I used to think that parents of children with bad grades must be miserable, and they racked their brains to get their children's grades better. On the other hand, the parents of those children with high grades should be happy. However, this is not the case.
In recent years, I have come into contact with many parents of top students, and I thought that they would be very happy and always have a smile on their faces. But unexpectedly, they were equally frowning. One mother told me that her child was not as good as she could have done except for good grades. Another parent said that his child was doing well, but his grades were not satisfactory. I began to wonder what was good.
It wasn't until I met a group of parents whose children were neither top students nor bottom students, and their lives seemed to be happy. They neither compete fiercely nor give up completely, and seem to have found a balance. They told me that there is no best on the road to education, only the most suitable. They no longer strive for absolute perfection, but look for a path that suits their children.
I remember at a lecture in Beijing, a mother confided her worries to me. Her child attends a key school, ranked 15th out of more than 400 people, but she is still full of anxiety. I told her that the child was already very good. She insisted that the child could do better. I asked rhetorically if my child would still have such expectations if she was now fifteenth from the bottom. She was silent.
Education is not a race with only one finish. Each child has their own rhythm and path. Perhaps, we should learn to appreciate their uniqueness, rather than blindly pursuing high and low grades. Because, what is best for children is the best.