When a child makes a mistake or annoys someone, what is your first reaction as a parent? I think the first reaction of many parents is probably to scold loudly, which is commonly referred to as "yelling".
This sound may immediately stop the child's erroneous movements; Perhaps immediately focus the child's attention; may have made the originally naughty child quickly stop all activities.
If that's the case, you'll think it's too effective to be a cure-all. But maybe you don't know that a roar from your parents,It can also make the child "sick".
Therefore, educating children in the way of "yelling" will hurt far more than you can imagine, especially the following 3 kinds of harm, for the sake of the child to change as soon as possible!
If parents yell at their children, it will be easy for them to become rebellious. This is because as their minds mature, they already know how their parents educate them, and this way of raising makes them uncomfortable, so they will fight against it in various ways.
In fact, when we were growing up, we would have more or less similar experiences. For example, if you are not satisfied with a certain teacher, you may deliberately not attend that teacher's class, or even study hard, thinking that you will be able to successfully fight against it.
Especially in the three rebellious periods of children (2 years old, 7 years old, 12 years old), the parents' yelling and scolding education will only exchange for a stronger rebellion of the child.
Parents strong always roar at the family,The child will feel very depressed and submissiveIn the face of the outside world, they will also become extremely sensitive and cowardly, they will be afraid of socializing, afraid of teacher criticism, afraid that children will not play with themselves, and afraid that others will not like them.
Such a child may grow up to be a people-pleasing personality with no self-confidenceAlways gain favor and likes by catering to others without a bottom line,Low self-esteem.
Many children who have been yelled at by their parents for a long time have a cowardly, withdrawn and inferior personality, especially lack self-confidence, are not good at communicating with others, and are relatively lacking in interpersonal relationships.
In order to win the favor of their parents, some children often try their best to please their parents, graduallyDevelop a people-pleasing personality, I like to look at other people's faces first.
In particular, children will consciously or unconsciously imitate their parents' words and actions, and will yell and express their emotions in a rough way in the future. Some will take a more drastic form, and even cause serious consequences.
In real life, the impact of personality on a person is lifelong, and the way a child is educated is crucial to his own character formation! Therefore, parents must take the right approach when educating their children, so that their children can grow up physically and mentally healthy.
Although we are parents, we are not necessarily proficient in "education". We often teach children based on our own experiences and habits, and our experience is not necessarily correct or scientific. If we educate our children in the wrong way, we really can't predict what the future direction of their children will be.
I recommend some parents who are very temperamental and impulsive to take a look at this bookPositive disciplineIt is a twenty years of parenting experience summarized by family education experts and can help parents better nurture their children. Positive parenting is a method of disciplining children without discipline or pampering.
In the process of children's growth, there will be many thorny problems, such as rebellion, isolation, sensitivity, school boredom and so on.
I always feel powerless in the face of these parents, but these 5 books are close to life cases to help parents sort out the problems comprehensively and guide their children correctly.
The content of the book focuses on practical operation, does not talk empty words, and combines thousands of real cases to discuss, what parents should do, what children should do, at a glance. After reading it, you can learn a lot of practical methods, and it is a very practical set of family education tools.
While letting children learn to respect and be grateful, parents can also learn how to communicate with their children calmly and truly enter their children's hearts.
A mom asks her three-year-old, "Do you know mom really loves you?" The child replied, "Yes, if I am good, you will love me." "We unconsciously attach conditions to love. And "Positive Discipline" will guide us to return love to its essence, and our education is just pure and unconditional love.
It is only in a kind and determined atmosphere that children can develop self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation, and problem-solving skills.
In this way, they can learn lifelong social and life skills that will enable them to achieve good academic results.
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