Hello everyone:
Welcome to the 100% funny collection to make you (high) laugh all day!
I remember when I was a child, on the eighth day of the first lunar month, a few friends discussed preparing to go to the Internet café to play games, I had no money at the time, and secretly took a bottle of wine when my parents were not there to go to a distant relative's house to pay New Year's greetings.
At that time, my relatives gave me 100 yuan to press the New Year's money, I gave it up according to the custom, just a moment, the relatives actually took it back, and said that the child was really sensible, I left with a bitter face, and when I returned to the intersection to tell my friends, he was speechless!
The wife who just got her driver's license can't afford to hurt her!
Today, my wife just came out after taking the driver's license test, and she has to take the initiative to drive me to work.
I sat in the passenger seat and watched as she unhurriedly pulled out a few pieces of paper from her bag and pasted them near the steering wheel.
I looked at it and almost fainted, only to see the words written on those pieces of paper: clutch, brake, accelerator!
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
My wife asked my husband, "Husband, if I learn to smoke, will you still think I'm as beautiful as ever?"
My husband replied, "You may be a smoker in the eyes of others, but you are still a flower in my eyes." ”
The wife asked proudly: "My husband still appreciates me, so what kind of flower should you be?" “
My husband closed his eyes and said, "Fireworks." ”
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
How to prove that you are at the bottom of the company in one sentence - "they went to the meeting".
During the exam, people with good grades will start to doubt the answer if they write 5 Bs in a row; People with bad grades who write 5 Bs in a row will be more determined to choose B.
I don't want you to save me, I want you to hold my hand firmly when I save myself!
Lightning may be another civilization that forgets to turn off the flash when taking pictures of us.
You haven't even talked about love, what kind of love concept do you talk about!
I introduced my boyfriend to my girlfriend's cousin, and my cousin asked me how I was.
I said: "This is a good buddy of mine, handsome, rich family, and most importantly, he is a typical warm man, proficient in laundry and cooking, and he will definitely take care of you in the future!" ”
My cousin was very satisfied, but when she left, I noticed that my girlfriend seemed a little unhappy, so I asked, "Honey, what's wrong?" ”
The girlfriend said angrily: "What's wrong? There are such good boys who don't keep it for me, and they're embarrassed to say they love me all day long? ”
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
High school troubles. I have had a crush on my classmate for almost a year, and once she was punished by the teacher for running laps in the playground, but suddenly it rained, so I immediately ran to her with an umbrella and moved the umbrella above her head.
Unexpectedly, the goddess came to say at that time: "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend......I'm afraid he'll misunderstand! ”
I was really sad, sad, and embarrassed, so I jokingly said to her: "Who said that I came to make an umbrella for you, I saw that I have used this umbrella for a long time, and I am going to sell it to you, and it just so happens that you can use ...... too.""I made a grimace after that!
The two of them looked at each other and laughed, and after my stalking, she still didn't choose me after all.
If you like it, pay attention....Pay attention!