This is not a simple meal at all, it is obviously a battlefield without war, and the cups and plates are already in disarray. What may seem unremarkable to the onlookers is changing to the participants.
Our Chinese dinner culture is very colorful, everyone has their own different roles and positioning during the dinner, and finding their own suitable position at the table is the most precious.
People who are very sophisticated in the system are called "will come to things", which is actually the ability to make others feel comfortable and happy, whether they are superiors or subordinates. As long as you can make others feel happy and comfortable, they will be impressed by you and will remember your good, so good things will keep coming to you.
Work and life are similar, and the dinner is their transitional stage, which plays a role in connecting. Things that cannot be negotiated at work may be solved at dinner; Documents that cannot be signed at the desk may be completed at the dinner table. When you drink happily and eat about the same, things are done.
Eat on time and talk seriously.
One. When it comes to having a conversation at the dinner table, there are a few tips that can help you communicate and communicate better with others.
Why do some people have such a strong resistance to dinner, despite its many benefits? The root cause is not that the food is not tasty, but that the words are difficult to control. Speaking is a technical job, and if you say it well, it can even become an art. So how do you get good at talking? The key is to make the other person feel comfortable.
For example, in ancient times, a man who was an official was going to work in a foreign country, and he said goodbye to his teacher before leaving. The teacher said, "When you go to a foreign place to take up a post, you must be cautious, and don't offend people." The student replied, "Teacher, please rest assured, I have prepared a hundred 'high hats', and I will give one when I meet someone, and I will guarantee that I will not offend anyone." The teacher said angrily, "If a person who is an official wants to act righteously, how can he use a 'high hat' to slap people?" The student said, "You are right, but how many innocent people like you are who don't like wearing top hats?" The teacher smiled and nodded, "Yes, yes, you're right!" After saying goodbye to the teacher, the man said to the people around him, "I have sent away a high hat." ”
See, isn't it ironic that teachers are influenced by their students despite their good cultivation? No matter who you are, you will subconsciously accept things that make you feel comfortable. If you happen to have this"Make others feel comfortable"Isn't it like giving a pillow to someone else when they're dozing off! Some students may wonder why speaking skills are involved when talking about dinner. Let me ask you: What kind of dinner party have you ever seen where everyone is silent and bows their heads to eat? If the right words are right for the people at the dinner party, they can quickly relax and blend in, and if everyone is nervous, then it is likely to be unnegotiable.
If you ask me if I have a formula for these situations, sorry, I really don't. Speaking requires flexibility, and if you just learned a few flashy phrases from a book and have to pretend to be witty at a party, then be careful not to get yourself in trouble.
In addition, what we speak should be decided according to the object. There is an old saying: "When you see people, you talk about people, and when you see ghosts, you talk about ghosts, and when you see a Bodhisattva, you worship a Bodhisattva." The same compliment, a compliment for some, can be sarcastic for others. Do you take outdated rhetoric and apply it to reality? If you have time, you can think about it until you fully understand it. If you don't feel fully understood, it's best to remain silent and listen to what those who are speaking. Of course, not speaking does not mean doing nothing, just nodding and smiling. Serving tea, pouring water, helping to turn dishes, opening wine, pouring wine should not be neglected, especially when dining with the leader, you must show your vitality with your eyes. Only if you show vitality will the leader value you, after all, no one likes lazy subordinates. Inviting you to participate is what makes you do things, and if you don't show your abilities at the dinner table, you're going to get yourself in trouble.
Two. Problems with drinking alcohol at dinner parties.
Now that we've discussed the importance of communication and the art of eloquence, let's talk about drinking alcohol at a dinner party. As the saying goes, "no wine is no feast", and being good at enjoying good wine will not only help you speak freely, but also enhance your friendship and success.
1.There must be a clear distinction between the inferior and the inferior.
Some superiors prefer to drink alcohol and tend to drink excessively. After drinking, they will inevitably lose their usual majesty and be relatively relaxed. You can also be a little more relaxed in your words and physical expressions when you see the leader relaxed, but you must be vigilant in your thoughts and avoid getting too close to the leader and calling you brothers. Honestly, you're not qualified to do that yet. Find your place, be clear about who you are, and know why you're working here.
Don't forget the rules.
In addition, the etiquette rules at the table are not much different from those in the unit. Many people go to toast the leader, but they don't even know the most basic toasting etiquette, isn't this embarrassing? The most basic rule of toasting is to hold the glass in both hands, and when clinking glasses, your cup mouth should always be lower than the leader's, and at the same time sincerely look at the other party, maintain an attitude that is neither humble nor arrogant, drink a little more according to the amount of alcohol the other party drinks, do not simply declare that you will drink at will, no one wants to compete with you for the amount of alcohol, so that the leader will feel that you do not treat the amount of alcohol enough to be bold.
Your boss should not be overly persuaded when drinking. If the leader says that he will not drink, he should not blindly entangle himself, which is asking for trouble. Although the leader may not do you well at the dinner, you can try it later. If you are not sure whether the leader really doesn't want to drink or deliberately refuses, you can just say: "Leader, I'll bring you a cup of tea." You've been working so hard lately that you've replaced the bar with tea. I'm sure everyone can understand that. "If the leader really doesn't want to drink today, then you help him get out of the predicament; If he wanted to drink a little, he would naturally say, "Everyone is drinking, why am I embarrassed to only drink tea, pour me some too." In this way, the leader seems to enjoy it as much as everyone else, and there is no showmanship. You give so much face to the leader, will the leader forget you?
3.When drinking, you must limit it appropriately.
The mouth is sick, and the tongue is sick"There are many examples of a person who has ruined himself because of a word, so speak in a measured manner. It's not hard to maintain proportions in normal times, but the hard thing is to be able to maintain proportions after drinking. As the saying goes"Wine is intimidating", this sentence is not unreasonable, many people were Chinese before drinking, but after drinking they became patriotic, isn't it a contradiction? It's okay to add some guts, but depending on where it's used, it would be self-defeating to continue to babble while drunk. If you feel like you're almost drunk, be sure to avoid continuing to drink. There are very few people who can maintain their demeanor even when they are drunk. If the boss is not drunk at this time, it is easy to become disgusted with the drunk. As an experienced"Alcohol Battlefield"Veteran, a few suggestions for everyone:
Do not drink mixed alcohol. Don't drink alcohol on an empty stomach.
Pay attention to the rhythm. Drink plenty of boiled water.
Drink a glass of milk before drinking coffee.
The most important thing is to be good at debating (listen to what you have to say).
How does a bartender express his persuasion?
Other details. 1.When you invite the big leader to dinner, send a text message first, and then call ** after a while. You can't just text because it's not formal; You can't hit ** directly, because it will be too sudden. Be sure to clearly state the agreed time, place, and people involved when texting, so that the big leader can decide whether to come.
2.If the leader agrees to come, please arrange the dining place in advance and arrange the accompanying personnel. If there is no objection from the leader, please be sure to arrange a vehicle pick-up.
3.If you ask someone to help you with an errand, remember to bring a gift after eating so that you don't go home empty-handed. So, prepare a gift in advance, which can be two high-end cigarettes, a red envelope (the amount depends on the difficulty of the matter and the identity of the other person), or two bottles of high-end wine. Be careful not to give an odd number of cigarettes or alcohol when giving gifts, because good things come in pairs, and this should be kept in mind.
4.The choice of the menu is usually given to the leader, but in most cases, the leader will delegate this power to you. So how do you order food? Among them, there is exquisiteness. First of all, we should pay attention to the combination of meat and vegetarian dishes, the combination of hot dishes and cold dishes, and also need to take into account the proportion of men and women in the number of diners. In the process of ordering, please don't ask**, important things to say three times: don't ask**, don't ask**, don't ask**, don't ask**. If there is a cold dish, you should ask the waiter to serve it before the guests are seated, and the rest of the dishes can be served slowly. In addition, people who are particular about ordering food often refer to it as cloth dishes, rather than simply ordering dishes.
5.Interpersonal help is the most important thing, and it should be avoided at the wine table as much as possible, and even if it must be mentioned, it should not be mentioned before eating. The best time is when there is a lot of drinking or when the leader receives a gift. Everyone knows that with a little effort, things can be successful. After that, it is very complicated to pay attention to the etiquette and skills of the meal. Meals need to be handled with great care. Even if I go into more detail, I will miss some important things, and the most important thing is to learn through personal experience. In the process, you will often feel stupid. But human growth is a constant process of feeling stupid, isn't it?