This afternoon, my mom hugged my son, who had just turned 1 year old, and asked me if I had thought it through and if I really decided to end my 3-year marriage with my husband.
Mom doesn't interfere with your choices, and you make your own decisions about your marriage. However, I hope you can calm down and think about it, after all, marriage is not child's play. Once you choose to end your marriage, you will become a single mother, and I suspect that they will not give up custody of their children easily, and there will be a lot of troubles in the future. ”
Looking at my son with watery eyes in front of me, I felt a little softness in my heart, but thinking of what my husband had done, and seeing the luggage of my in-laws piled up in the living room, my heart to end the marriage was even more resolute.
I am 26 years old this year, as an only child, I have lived a carefree life since I was a child, although my family conditions are not too good, my parents are just ordinary workers, but they gave me all the love and let me have a happy childhood.
On marital status, my parents' marriage is very happy, the two of them are united through free love, back then, when my parents talked about marriage, because my father's family conditions were not good, my grandparents looked down on it, and they had opposed this family business, it was my mother in order to defend their love, persevered to the end, so that we had a happy little family.
They have been married for decades and have been living a life of mutual affection, my father works hard to earn money to support the family, my mother teaches her husband and children, and respects her in-laws.
Therefore, living in such a family, I also regard love as very important, thinking that for marriage, love is the first, and only by marrying someone I really like can I live a happy life.
When I was in college, I met my boyfriend, who was from another school, and the two of us talked together for three years and had graduation season.
At that time, the two of us agreed that we would settle down in the city, and he proposed to me, and I agreed.
We went to see my parents together, and we thought it would go well, but it didn't work out, and my parents didn't approve of it.
On the one hand, my parents felt that the two of us had just graduated from college, although we had jobs, but they were not stable, and we were only 22 years old, so it was not appropriate to enter into marriage too early, and suggested that we wait until our careers were stable before getting married.
On the other hand, my parents felt that the city where our university was located was too far away from my home, and if I settled there, I would marry far away, and they didn't want me to marry far away, because they were worried that I would be wronged and no one would protect me.
My mother also said that I was in a hurry to talk about marriage, and I didn't even know my in-laws' family carefully, and I didn't know the character, economic status and style of my future in-laws, so I was a little hasty.
However, I didn't listen to my parents' opinions, and he was in a hurry, so I still started to talk about marriage.
My parents couldn't help me, so they agreed to my request and went to see my in-laws. After meeting my in-laws, my parents' objections to this family business became even more obvious.
Although your father and I are also in free love, and I didn't listen to my mother at the beginning, I knew your grandparents before deciding to marry him. Your grandparents are gentle-tempered, reasonable, helpful, and treat your aunt, a daughter-in-law, as their own, and are recognized as good in-laws by those around me, so I decided to marry her. But look at your boyfriend's parents, who are stingy and calculating. I went and inquired, and they bought a grocery store, 104. I am only willing to give 10 yuan to others. If people don't do it, they will scold and give money, and at the same time they have to grab some more things and leave, and they always feel that they have suffered a loss. Do you think you can have a good relationship with such in-laws?
I have to say that my mother's words were contrary to my words, but the problem was that I didn't listen to them at the time, and in the end, my parents, who had nothing to do with us, agreed to this family business and let me get married.
Fortunately, my parents did not relent, although they gave me 80,000 bride price as a dowry, but did not help me buy a house. I remember my mom saying more than once that when I got married, she would support me to buy a house, give me half of the down payment, and make me confidently write my name on the title deed.
This time, my mother told me: "Since you think the other party is true love, and you don't dislike him for nothing, then start from scratch with him, and we don't care so much as parents." “
I agreed, and wanted to prove it to my mother, but my husband mentioned buying a house more than once, saying that he didn't want me and my children to suffer with him, and on the other hand, he cried to me that his parents couldn't do anything. It's a pity that at that time, I was a love brain, I didn't understand at all, and I didn't choose to stop the loss in time.
After we got married, we also lived happily for a while, and it wasn't until after the birth of my son that I realized that there were too many hidden dangers in my marriage.
In the beginning, I didn't want to have a baby so soon, on the one hand, I felt that I was still young and not mentally ready to be a mother, and on the other hand, my career was just starting, and the company was very intolerant of pregnant female colleagues, and if I had a child, I would probably lose my job.
However, not long after the marriage, my in-laws began to give birth, I wanted to hold my grandson, my husband stood on the side of my in-laws, and kept persuading me, and finally, I relented and had a child.
After quitting my job, I planned to take care of the baby at home, and when my son was born and my body recovered, I went out to work, but I didn't think about it, seeing that I had no job, my mother-in-law, who was called by my husband to take care of me, was not happy and picked and chose with me at home.
I buy some fruit, she's too expensive; I bought some snacks and she said I was wasting money. What's more, as soon as I resigned, she gave my husband ** and took my husband's salary card. When I asked my husband for money, he asked me to go to my mother-in-law, and said that I spent money indiscriminately, which made me half angry.
My mother-in-law was so eloquent that I couldn't argue with her at all, so I had no choice but to use my dowry to survive the crisis. Seeing that I still had money in my hand, my mother-in-law went to ask her husband, and when she learned that the bride price money was in my hand, she repeatedly offered me to hand it over to her for safekeeping, saying that I would not save money when I was young.
I ignored her, she went to her husband again, and when I saw my husband who had been standing on my mother-in-law's side, I realized that I had married Ma Baonan, and I was so disappointed that I had an unceremonious quarrel with him and kicked him out of the room.
When my mother-in-law saw it, she was even more angry, in order to teach me a lesson, after I gave birth to my son, she not only did not serve me in confinement, did not help me take care of the child, but also asked my husband to mention the AA system to me.
When my husband obeyed his mother's orders and forced me to hand over all the money he had under the threat of AA production, our marriage was dead, and my hatred for him overwhelmed the joy of being a first-time mother at that moment.
The main reason why I didn't end the marriage immediately was because my son had just been born, and it was difficult to mention ending the marriage, and even if it was successful, I might not be able to get custody of my son.
That's it, I endured it for a year, I originally planned to wait until the New Year to go out to work, and when the work situation stabilized, I was having a showdown with him, but I didn't think about it, the day before yesterday, he took his in-laws to his home and wanted his in-laws to stay at home for the New Year.
Ever since he proposed the AA system to me, I have driven my mother-in-law, who caused my marriage to become a chicken, back to my hometown. In the past year, as long as we have communication, even if we play **, we will look at each other unpleasantly, let alone live under the same roof.
On the one hand, I can let my parents accompany me for the New Year, so that my in-laws dare not make it difficult for me excessively, and on the other hand, I want to rent a house nearby and let my parents help me take care of the baby, so that I can go out to work as soon as possible and prepare for leaving my husband.
Unexpectedly, when I saw that my parents were also here, my husband was very angry, saying that there were not so many people living in the house, and he wanted my parents to leave. I retorted, "You set the AA system, each in charge of his parents, why can your parents come, but my parents can't come", he asked me if I didn't want to live, I replied decisively, and formally proposed to end the marriage with him.
He thought I was joking, and he didn't know I meant it until the agreement was thrown in front of him. He was reluctant to end the marriage, perhaps because he was worried that once I left, he would never be able to marry a wife like me who was willing to live with him in a rented house!
After recalling these things, I told my parents in an unwavering voice: "Dad, Mom, I have thought about it, my life is still very long, and there is no need to waste time on a man." Back when he proposed the AA system to me, there was no hope for the two of us. ”
I have long thought clearly, there is no need for such a hopeless marriage to last, it is better to end it sooner. As for the custody of the child, I thought that in the end, he would not fight with me, after all, with the family conditions of his in-law's family and his personal conditions, there is no house or car, and the parents are not reasonable.