The role of "Zhou Bingkun" in "The World" is the old pimple in the eyes of his mother, the most unpromising child in the eyes of his father, but it is this unproductive old pimple who pays the most in the play.
When the whole pork was in difficult times, it was Zhou Bingkun; When my mother was sick and needed to be taken care of, it was Zhou Bingkun; When my sister's children were not cared for, it was Zhou Bingkun; 's father was seriously ill, and it was also Zhou Bingkun's ......
There is a particularly touching plot in the play: Zhou Bingkun, the youngest son of the Zhou family, and Zhou Zhigang, his father who have not met for a long time, broke out into a fierce quarrel as soon as they met. The father said angrily: "You say I'm snobbish, what are you thinking in your head?" You're slandering me!
What parent doesn't want their child to have a good and decent life? What kind of snobbery is this? ”
And Zhou Bingkun responded with grievances: ""It's all born and raised by a father and a mother, and I have no interest, do you know how uncomfortable I am?"
If you don't comfort me, I won't say anything, what you say is ugly, and what hurts you.
You said that your brother and sister studied well since childhood, but you, the bottom of the class.
This conflict between father and son reveals the pain point shared by many families in reality - the psychological gap between parents' expectations of their children's achievements and their children's desire to be accepted and recognized.
Although Zhou Bingkun is the youngest son of the Zhou family, he dropped out of school early to work in a state-owned factory, which is in stark contrast to his eldest brother Zhou Bingyi, who went to Peking University and has a successful career, and Zhou Rong, the second sister who married a well-known poet.
Although he may seem the most ordinary, he has become an important pillar that supports the entire family.
When his mother was paralyzed, Zhou Bingkun took on the responsibility of taking care of his mother and nephews, he worked and took care of the housework, and wanted to study for university on his own but it was difficult to spare his energy due to the trivialities of life. When faced with neighbors praising the achievements of his brothers and sisters, he inevitably felt inferior in his heart, and hid behind the crowd and felt sad.
However, he was deeply touched by his mother's thoughtful words: "In my mother's eyes, you are better than your brother and sister." After they leave home, they can't rely on everything at home, and only if you stay at home, your mother can feel at ease. This remark made Zhou Bingkun white, compared with those glamorous success stories, parents need a child who is really by their side as a support.
As mentioned in the play, "nourishing the mouth and body" and "nourishing the mind", serving the parents' clothing, food, housing and transportation is material filial piety, and being proud of their parents when they become famous outside the country is a spiritual level of filial piety.
However, the voice of the old mother reveals the truth: no matter how brilliant the children are outside, what parents really look forward to is the one who can always be by their side.
In life, we often find that the one who can take care of the elderly when he is old is often the child who seems to be ordinary and ordinary, but is always by his side. They may not be the "successful people" that others envy, but they are the most real consolation for their parents in their later years.
When we look at the ordinariness of our own children, we should pay more attention to their unique strengths, because the seemingly ordinary child may be the most loyal and filial one.
At the same time, "The World" also depicts the helplessness and struggle of the eldest Zhou Bingyi and the second Zhou Rong, the glamorous children.
Although Zhou Bingyi married the daughter of the governor and was successful in his studies, due to various concerns, he often could not give timely help when his family encountered difficulties, but deliberately avoided causing trouble to his father-in-law and mother-in-law.
Behind his glamour is the helplessness of being the "face" of the Zhou family, as well as the pain of not being able to serve his parents wholeheartedly.
During the New Year's holidays, although the Zhou family has such a provincial and ministerial-level in-laws, the arrival of the in-laws did not bring substantial help or comfort to the family, but added a lot of invisible pressure.
I remember one Spring Festival, in order to welcome the governor's in-laws, the whole family was busy, cleaning the house and preparing gifts, but the in-laws could not come due to emergencies, and even the unaware secretary returned the New Year's gifts carefully prepared by the Zhou family.
Such an experience undoubtedly made the Zhou family feel both embarrassed and sad, and Zhou Bingyi often had to make a difficult choice between taking care of the family and fulfilling his duties as a son-in-law.
The second child, Zhou Rong, is also talented, but there is a huge conflict between her personal pursuits and family responsibilities.
Regardless of her family's opposition, she abandoned everything and went to Guizhou for her love, and later returned to Beijing to devote herself to her career, which made her care for her parents and daughter seem inadequate. Her parents knew her inner regrets, and they couldn't bear to bind her to her hometown.
In this case, no matter how good the children are, they may not be able to devote themselves to filial piety due to practical reasons, and have become an invisible barrier on the road of filial piety.
Although Zhou Bingyi and Zhou Rong have an aura that ordinary people envy, in the face of filial piety, their "appearance" has become an insurmountable obstacle.
It's not that they don't love their parents, it's just that the stumbling blocks in life make them unable to do their filial piety.
This also once again confirms the fact that children's achievements cannot simply be equated with filial piety, and sometimes, those seemingly ordinary children, such as Zhou Bingkun, the youngest son of the Zhou family, are the most real and indispensable support of parents for their daily companionship, trivial efforts and silent endurance.
In the process of educating their children, parents sometimes fall into a misunderstanding, that is, they think that their children must study well, rely on full scores in exams, and it is best to go to civil servants, career editors, and make more money, which is called "promising".
Venerable Zheng Yan, who founded the Tzu Chi Merit Association, told a story:
There was once a mother who consulted Gen Yan Zhengyan:
*, My child is not reading well, what should I do?
* replied:"Just be good. ”
The other mother then asked
My child is not good at reading and is not well-behaved, what should I do? ”
*Answer:"It's good to have. ”The mage means:Be a parent.
In the process of educating their children, parents should not be too stubborn and force their children to develop according to their own expectations. Learn to respect and accept each child's uniqueness and natural state of growth.
When you see how other children are learning, you can learn from them but don't blindly follow them, and if you are worried about your child's learning progress, you can also choose to let them participate in tutoring, however, in the end, what your child's academic performance is, as a parent, you should accept it calmly.
In life, we often lament that the relationship between family members is arranged by fate, and everyone cannot be forced to meet a certain standard.
Just as you can't expect your parents to have wealth or power, you can't expect your children to meet a particular standard of success.
Whether it is children or parents, we are all given by God, what we should do is to understand each other deeply, cherish the time we spend together, and live together with a positive attitude.
When it comes to the nature of a happy life, many parents tend to see their children's academic excellence, job success, and good income as signs of happiness.
But in reality, do these outward accomplishments really equate to inner happiness? The answer is not absolute. Only after careful consideration and finding a life path that is truly suitable for oneself can a person live a truly down-to-earth and happy life.
True happiness comes from the heart, and it comes from the continuous improvement of one's inner cultivation, which is the core of measuring the value of life.
Mencius once said: A gentleman has three pleasures, but the king does not exist with the world, both parents exist, and brothers have no reason, and one happiness is also."
Confucianism puts family affection in the first place of happiness, and warns us that in a short life, although the external achievements vary in size and the individual can control the limited part, family affection is irreplaceable as the most primitive, natural and lasting emotional bond between people.
Therefore, whether you are a parent, a child, or a sibling, you should learn to value and care for your family. In this way, it is possible for you to truly experience the steadfastness and happiness that wells up from the bottom of your heart in your life.
February** Dynamic Incentive Program