Hello everyone, I'm Daddy Milk
In the blink of an eye, the bell of 2024 is about to ring.
At this time of year, with the successive holidays in major industries, many young couples who have just gotten married will face a very embarrassing question: who will they go back to during the New Year?
Perhaps in the past, there was no need to discuss this kind of issue, after all, the traditional concept is to pay attention to "married daughters, splashed water", on the day of Chinese New Year's Eve, the woman is to follow the man home for the New Year, and wait until the second day of junior high school, most areas are the days to return to the mother's home.
But with the development of the times, the original "customs" have slowly become a thing of the past, especially the generation of only children, who have already married and had children, and are bound to face this topic that is currently being debated.
I watched a variety show before, and the Internet celebrity Papi sauce was on the show, revealing how she and her husband handled this matter.
She and Lao Hu have been in love for 10 years and married for 5 years, one is from Shanghai and the other is from Shaanxi.
According to common sense, the two are busy with work now, and they are far away from their parents, and they will have the trouble of who to return to for the New Year.
But on the contrary, they have never been bothered by this thorny issue, because unlike other couples, the two of them have never met from falling in love to getting married, and now having children.
And during the New Year's holidays, Papi-chan and her husband also go back to their respective homes, and neither of them affects each other to go home to accompany their parents.
In the show, Papi-chan said that she didn't care about each other, but she just felt that it was unnecessary to toss like this, for her husband's parents, the son was the most important, and for her parents, the daughter was also the most important.
I have to say that what papi-chan said is simply sober in the world.
In fact, the method of dealing with the problem of "who will go back to for the New Year" like papi sauce is not an exception in today's era, and has even slowly become a popular way to celebrate the New Year.
01.The new "New Year's way" is in vogue The wife is not sad, the husband is not embarrassed, and the parents are relaxed
Recently, I swiped **, and I saw that there is a similar way to deal with couples who "go back to whose house for the New Year", and it has aroused heated discussions.
Like many people, Ms. Li from Guangzhou has experienced the same entanglement, she and her husband have been married for 6 years, and the relationship between the two parties is very good.
But when I followed my husband home in the first year, because I didn't adapt to the life in my hometown, the young couple quarreled with red faces and red ears, and even made trouble in the end, almost ending in divorce.
Later, after the two calmed down, Ms. Li thought of the method of "going back to their respective homes for the New Year", at first her husband disagreed, but in the end, for the sake of their mutual feelings, her husband finally compromised.
Since then, Ms. Li and her family have chosen to go back to their respective homes every Chinese New Year, and it has lasted for 5 years now.
Ms. Li said that since choosing this method, the relationship between the two has not only not been affected, but has become better than before.
After this incident was "exposed", it instantly resonated, watched and discussed by many people, and two completely different voices appeared on the Internet.
Some netizens believe that such a choice is really necessary for women, especially those single-child families, maybe after their daughters get married, it has become a luxury to want to spend more time with their parents. If this method can be popularized, how many female friends' grievances and sadness will be solved.
What's more, as a parent's child, whether or not married, their own home must be the most comfortable harbor, if they can go back to their own home during the New Year, the husband not only does not have to face the embarrassment and embarrassment of his wife returning to his hometown, but also liberates both parents, and does not have to care about the thoughts and opinions of the daughter-in-law and uncle, as long as he takes care of his own children.
Of course, where there is agreement, there is opposition.
There are also some netizens who have the opposite opinion, they feel that this kind of marriage is somewhat lacking in human touch, after all, marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families.
Moreover, not all parents are so open-minded.
If you meet parents with traditional values, then your daughter-in-law and aunt have not returned home for the Chinese New Year, nor have you come to visit your relatives, which seems a little uneducated and impolite, and you will also be crowned with the hat of "sophistication".
What's more, in the traditional concept, if only one person goes home during the New Year's holiday, then there must be some problems in the relationship between the husband and wife, and it is easy to cause parents to worry at that time.
So in this way, the avant-garde is avant-garde, but it is not promoted.
02.The right way to manage marriage: not to be conservative, not to be innovative.
Actually, seeing different voices on the Internet, I thought of the story that happened to my friend Xiaofei.
Xiaofei and her husband are college classmates, and in order to fulfill the beauty of "from school uniforms to wedding dresses", they resolutely followed her husband to Xi'an, and since then they have been separated from their parents' home for more than 2,000 kilometers.
At first, Xiaofei thought about it relatively simply, she felt that the transportation was so convenient now, and if she wanted to go home, it would not be a matter of minutes.
But the more she went on, the more she realized how naïve her original idea was, especially after having children, let alone going back to her parents' home, even if it became extremely difficult to go out of the province.
During the Spring Festival a few years ago, seeing that the children were getting older and older, I wanted to take the children back to my hometown, but when I encountered the epidemic, it became a luxury to go home.
This year, Xiaofei discussed with her husband early in the morning that she would take her two babies back to her hometown for the Spring Festival, and let her husband go back to accompany her in-laws for the New Year, and the results were all arranged, and Xiaofei's eldest daughter was selected to participate in the local Spring Festival Gala rehearsal.
As a result, the desire to go back to spend the Spring Festival with my parents this year was once again disappointed.
It is precisely because of this incident that Xiaofei and her family quarreled a lot, and every time they quarreled, Xiaofei regretted that she had married far away, and she also blamed herself for not being filial to her parents.
Therefore, through these things, I think that in the management of married life, we can neither blindly be conservative nor pursue innovation too much.
As everyone said, the conclusion of marriage is linked to two families, so we blindly stick to tradition, then many parents and children will fall into deep thoughts and grievances, but blindly pursuing innovation may seem to lack a little human touch and hurt the hearts of parents.
Therefore, instead of this, it is better to find a compromise like many couples choose now. For example, if you go back to your mother-in-law's house this year and your parents' house next year, if the two families are not far away, you can also choose to accompany them and see your old parents during the Spring Festival.
Of course, there are still many young couples who choose to settle down in big cities, so they can also choose to take their parents together for the New Year, so that they can gather together, which is not only lively, but also takes care of everyone, so that one party will not spend the New Year, guarding the empty house, but not seeing their children.
In fact, when faced with the question of who to return to for the Chinese New Year, we must understand that different values are bound to have completely different views and opinions when looking at the same thing.
Therefore, as an adult couple, while fulfilling oneself, we should also take into account the feelings of both parents.
After all, even if the values are different, or some parents are too conservative, their love for their children will never be compromised.
Finally, I would like to ask you, do you think the method of going back to your home during the Chinese New Year will work? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.