1 At the meeting today, the boss suddenly took a deep breath and said seriously: I am a pineapple. Everyone was stunned and began to think about what kind of fruit he was, and then he said, "I hope you can be my Maxima." The colleagues in the entire venue were about to suffocate their internal injuries.
2My cousin opened a supper stall, and since the summer vacation, the business has plummeted, so I will take care of the business! My cousin fried me a piece of noodles, and I was just about to eat it, when my cousin's elementary school son came over, pointed to the noodles on the table, and said: Pho is one dollar, eggs are five cents, lean meat is two, sell for twelve yuan, and earn eight yuan! Before I could react, the kid ran to the next table and calculated: four preserved eggs for four yuan, sell for eighteen, and earn fourteen yuan......I think I know why his business has plummeted.
3 In the ramen restaurant, a strange person said to Xiao Er: "Come to a bowl of noodles." "Good! "Pull it down. "Good! "Put more coriander. "Good! "Put more leaves on coriander and less on the stems. "Good! "Slice the beef, don't cut it into pieces. "Good! "Cook the noodles for a while. "Okay, do you have any other requirements?" "It's gone. "Okay, eight pieces in total, thank you! ”
After giving the money, Xiao Er shouted loudly at the back kitchen: "A bowl of beef noodles!" "Then, it's time to greet the other guests!
4 Raising a son is similar to playing a game, creating an account, giving a name, and then starting to upgrade, and constantly throwing money ......Throwing money at ......Throwing money at ......Promoted to one level a year, and when the level rose later, he was stolen by a daughter-in-law! Raising a daughter......It's like planting a pot of rare flowers, careful, caring for them in every way, breaking my heart, looking forward to my sour eyes, and finally blooming at one time, stunning the four, but was taken away by a deflated calf called son-in-law!
5. One day I was chatting with the goddess, and she suddenly asked me, "Do you have that kind of **?" ”
I said, "Yes, why do you want to watch it with me?" ”
Let's take a look at it if I have you, it's annoying to chat with you. ”
6. One day the boss of the company asked other colleagues questions in the office, and the first question was: Why do mice fly? Colleague answers: Because it's a bat. The boss said that it was wrong, because the rats had eaten the elixir. The second question is, why do snakes fly? Colleague Answer, because the snake ate the elixir. The boss said, it's wrong and stupid, because the snake eats the mouse. The third question is, why do eagles fly? The colleague replied that because the eagle ate the snake, the boss laughed and said, "It's stupid, the eagle can fly!"
7 When he went to work, the man received a text message from his wife: "Husband, what can I eat?"
The man looked it up on the Internet and replied: "1 corn, 2 hawthorns, 3 apples, 4 sweet potatoes." ”
After work, the man came home and saw his wife lying on the sofa panting and asked, "What's wrong?" ”
The wife said, "I quickly ate one corn and two hawthorns, and I barely ate three apples, but there are still four sweet potatoes, and I really can't eat them." ”
8 Let my uncle see the teacher instead of my parents, and later, the teacher will become my aunt!
When I was a child, I was very naughty, and once the teacher asked my parents, I didn't dare to tell my parents, so I went to my uncle for help. The teacher talked to my uncle for more than two hours, and then the teacher was obviously kind to me at school, and then she became my aunt.
9"Dad, what is the law?
The law is the lawyer in France. ”
So what is legal illiteracy?
Blind people in France. ”
10. There is a teacher who draws a lot of patterns on the blackboard during class to make the students associate what it is. Xiao Ming couldn't do without food, so the teacher drew a circle again, asked Xiao Ming to associate again, and asked not to say anything related to eating.
Xiao Ming thought about it and said, "Mouse hole." ”
The teacher asked, "Why did you think of the rat hole?" ”
Xiao Ming said: "There are a lot of food in it, like nuts, peanuts, popcorn, ......."”
11 a day ago, working in an Internet café, getting off work at 12 o'clock in the evening, a time to work with a sister, the sister said that her friend asked her to sing, asked me what I was doing after work, there was no money in my pocket at the time, I held back tears and told her that I was sleepy, go back to sleep, now I think about it, alas, I blame it on being too pure at the beginning, so that I am single until now.