From a psychological point of view, whether a person can be liked by others or not is not "inevitable" related to whether he or she is good or not. This is not to say that a person's qualities are not important, but the condition of "being liked" itself encompasses a number of complex factors.
Let's take an analogy. There is a person who has excellent math scores, and he often takes the first place in the class, scoring 100 points, which seems to be quite good, right? It's also good.
However, the strange thing is that his popularity in the class is not good, and everyone doesn't like him, and when they see him, they are afraid to avoid him like they meet a bad guy.
The reason is **? is in his character.
I was the first in the exam, I was too proud, and I was arrogant to my classmates, and I always put on an arrogant attitude. When someone asks him about a math problem, he always has a broken face and says, "This problem is so simple, why can't you?" Stupid as a pig. ”
The scolded classmate, as soon as he heard him say this, became angry and angry, and never contacted him again.
Personality problems lead to dislike by others, which is very common in interpersonal relationships, and is based on personal reasons.
In addition, in addition to character, group interests cannot be ignored. If an individual acts against the interests of others in a group, or acts as a maverick, he or she will also be hostile to others. Even if you are right and not wrong, and you are a good person, you will be excluded by everyone.
For example, in a small group, there are five or six people, and everyone likes to eat cake, and one person suggested that we should buy a strawberry cake to eat, and the others agreed.
But you don't like strawberries and tell them, "Don't buy strawberry cake, do you?" Is it okay to buy vanilla? I love eating this. ”
You weren't doing anything wrong in your own right, and you didn't say you were doing anything wrong. However, your opinions will make everyone dislike you, and some of them who are jealous may even exclude and bully you and drive you out of the group.
If you feel very aggrieved and want to ask for an explanation, people will scold you and say, "Everyone has agreed to buy strawberry cake, and they have all decided, why do you want to sing against us, do you want vanilla, are you sincerely against us?" ”
In this case, if you want others to like you, you can only conform to the crowd and eat strawberry cake according to everyone's opinions, so that you can be accepted and liked by everyone.
Therefore, whether others like you or not has no absolute relationship with whether you are good or not, not that if you are good, you must be liked, or if you are bad, you must be hated, and interpersonal relationships are very complicated.
It may have something to do with the consistency of group interests, as well as personal personality reasons, and even subjective preferences, Lao Tzu just likes you, Lao Tzu just hates you, what can you do?
Just like love, there is a beautiful big beauty, and she doesn't agree to many handsome guys pursuing her, so they choose a fat uncle as their partner. You think it's strange and incomprehensible, why can't I get others to like me when I'm more handsome than him?
But you have to know that people in this world are subjectively selective. It's up to you to decide what others like. Who the other person likes, they will have their own preferences, and it is not up to you to decide. Even if you do a good job and are excellent in all aspects, as long as there is one thing that is not satisfactory to the other party, people have the right to dislike you.
In life, there is really no need to be too entangled in the question of "whether others like me or not" to cater to other people's feelings. Lao Tzu is like this, love is dripping. If you like it, you can like it, and if you don't like it, you can pull it down, and I don't want you.
It's enough to show your heart, do whatever you want, and then attract people who like you, so that you can have a better time. February** Dynamic Incentive Program