One is called"Chinese Parents".The game is subject toThe attention and heated discussions of many netizens。Because of itInvolvedofAdmission issues, parent-child communication and interactionetcIt resonated with many peopleThey all remembered their ownChildhood, and then associateIt's often reported nowout of a lotParent-child conflict, evenThe child impulsively chooses suicideetcTragedy, both emotional"Chinese Parents".CauseTimes, its own limitations, rightThe next generationofEducation is fullnowHysteresiswithBlindness
You're going to do it next yearGoing to junior high schoolNo, you can'tCollect your heart and study carefully?", Mr. Huang saw11-year-old son Miao MiaoInAfter-school timeStillAddicted to drawing, a pairCan't put all the energywithTime spent studyingThe appearance of alwaysCan't help but scold
AlthoughMiao Miao has loved painting since she was a child, andDidn't attend a professional painting training classcase, from time to time canWith the workReceivedTeachers, classmatesofCompliments。ButThey look like husband and wifeIf yesYou can't get into a good junior high school, then the future tooI don't have access to key high schools and universities at all
So, fromThe second semester of Year 5 begins, Mr. Huang justConfiscationnowMiao MiaoofPainting tools, alsoLet go of the harsh wordsAdmitted to a key junior high schoolI'll be able to give you back
In the beginning,Miao MiaoAlsoTrying to convince mom and dad"MeI really like to draw"MeGuaranteed not to delay learning！"StillMom and DadStillPersistence"YoursThat's all there is to it, definitelyIt's all about learning
And just the other day, Mr. HuangClean up the room for my sontime, inin the closetFound himSecretly draw a good picture。In a fit of rage,Just tear up all these paintings
Also because of this practice,Miao Miao was completely on fire。ThereafterBack homeBothClose the door, completelyRefuse to communicate。Now Mr. HuangThe couple was stunnedIncomprehensiblesighed: ".What's wrong with the kids nowWe were back then, completelyI won't disobey my parents, not to mentionCold war with parentsnow”
The latestReport on the Development of China's National Mental HealthShow, our country has24.6% of adolescents suffer from depressionMore than 74%ofTeensReachedMajor depressionto the point of .
And on this,Many parentsBothCan't figure it outToday's little ones are so sensitive?", ".Why do you get depressed if you don't worry about eating and drinking?etcAs everyone knows, it's likeEducation expert Chen MoSaid: ".It's not what's wrong with the kids now, ratherParents fail to keep up with the times and their children
1. Pay too much attention to grades and ignore the cultivation of other qualities
"Everything is inferior, only reading is high"., or", or".I can't get into a key schoolThere is no hope for the future"Wait, this was earlierTencent.com unites several educational institutions, rightTens of thousands of parentsConductedInterview SurveyLater, confirmedMore than 70%.ofParents only care about their children's academic performanceand in the form ofGrades are good or badAsJudge your child for good or badofstandards
And there isThis kind of thinking of parentsEven moreDon't care if you have excellent gradesKidsofWhether there is a deficiency in morality and quality。Such as:The results are among the bestchildren even ifLies are repeatedIt is also a parentPraiseYes"Flexible brains".We will not focus on the cultivation of good qualities
2. Inability to understand or not pay attention to the psychological development of today's children
Doctor of Clinical Psychology Kevin XuSpeaking of doing it yourselfTeensRelevantResearchWhen discovered,The more fierce the competitionofPrestigious schoolsThe student is depressedofProbabilityThat's itThe higher, evenSome classes exceed 20%., and the latestReport on the Development of China's National Mental HealthAlsoThis is illustrated
But it isSuch a situation is not optimisticDown,Many parentsYetIncomprehensibleOrDon't pay attention to your own childrenofAbnormal development of the psyche, thinksWorry-free food and clothingofStatusUnder alsoDepression is present, really"Moaning without disease".
It's a pity for the parentsDo not understand Maslow's hierarchy of spiritual needs, ieMaterial needs are satisfiedAt the same time,Spiritual needs should not be ignored either。Therefore, it isGive the child material conditionsofAt the same time, tooStrict requirementsKidsMust achieve their expected academic performance, as forThe emotional world of childrenand they will only use ".Today's children are cranky"Come onPrevarication
3. Refuse to accept the child's ordinary
Chengdu Business Daily Education United Children's GroupMade oneQuestionnairesDiscover,More than 50% of parents can't accept that their children will grow up to be ordinary peoplethings. Therefore, it is not sparedSpend a lot of time, moneyto the childApply for various cram schools and tutorial classesetc., let the childBecome a "chicken baby".
However, likeProfessor Liu Yu of Tsinghua Universitysaid: ".Parents force their children to be a painful hollow person, pouredIt is better to let the child become a happy ordinary person
In addition to the above characteristics,Too aggressive, all-encompassing, accustomed to communicating with children in a "commanding" toneetcDisrespectful of the child's mannerstooNowadays many "Chinese-style" parentsofFeatures:。And fromRealityCome and see,The suicide rate of children is increasing year by year, and parent-child conflicts are frequentand other problemsRemind parentsYesKeep up with the timesGivingKidsScientific and rational education
Element 1: Give your child enough respect
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in psychologyFor parentsEducational lecturestimesEmphasisRespect is the premise of all education. "And"Chinese Parents".There is precisely thatNot a lot of peopleorIn order to maintain parental authorityorGet used to arranging everything for your child, neverThe child is not allowed to have any rebuttalsCome up with your own ideas
In order to be ableMaintain good communication with your child, also forCultureKidsAbility to be independent and self-reliantParents need to understandRespect your child's wishes and ideasEncouragedKidsSay your point。At the same time, tooLearn to "let go".and let the child learnDo your own thing, cultivatedAbility to do things and think independently
Element 2: Pay attention to moral cultivation
Philosopher John Locke, thinksGood moral cultivationYesReal wealth。"AndNumerous high-IQ criminalsIt's also enoughProof, a personNo matter how smart it is, onlyProblems with morality and personalitytooHarm others and yourselfexists.
So, parents are hereCultivate children's abilities and pay attention to academic performanceAt the same time,It is necessary to pay more attention to the cultivation of moral character。Not only yetLead by exampleSet a positive exampleIt's okayEncouragedKidsChoose people of good characterAsLearn from role models
Tips: You can also prepare moreFamous deeds, real-life examplesetcBooks, **to the childLearn
Element 3: Find out the child's shining points, and give enough affirmation and encouragement
Psychologist Lily WatersIn its writing"Superior Parenting".The book mentions: ".Every childBothHave your own strengthsParents don't be because of themselvesDidn't find it"Anddenied their existence。"And if parents canDiscover your child's brilliance, and not onlyIt is conducive to guiding children to find their own position, tooCultureKidsPlay to your advantageGet better
And the parents are thereThe process of educating childrenMedium,Don'tMany "Chinese-style" parents are used to itAdopt "stick education".orRepressive education, so that it will only make the childBecoming inferiorPush him farther and farther away
Rather, it should be givenEnough encouragementwithDefinitelyImproveChild'sSelf-confidenceand let himFeel the love of your parents, bothThere will be no lack of securityAlsoHave more confidencewithCourage to face difficultiesand do itRise to the challenge
Element 4: Strengthen communication and companionship, and care for children's psychological development
NowadaysTest-oriented educational environmentDown, kidThe psychological pressure is beyond the imagination of parents。PlusInformation ageLet the childExposure to a variety of frontsorNegative informationMood swingsPsychological developmentMoreComplex
So, parents can'tIt only stays at the level of satisfying material needs, but to be pumped outEnough time to spend with your childrenCommunicate patientlytoYesHisEmotional, psychological conditions。Such as:Detect any anomaliesTimely groomingorSeek help from a professional
Professor Jin Ziqiang, an expert in psychology and sociologyAfter research, it was proposed:"ParentsOnlyConstantly update the educational conceptEstablish a correct and rational view of parentingto be guaranteedGivingKidsThe best education。That is, parents should:Always reflectOwnWhether the educational philosophy is related to the current situation and the physical and mental growth of the childetcMatch, andWhether it is fully understoodSo as not to ignore the anomaly
Conclusion:
The reason for oneMention "Chinese-style" parents, no matter whatIt's the kidsStillMany people think of it firstYes**, domineering, disrespectful to children, or", or".Overly spoiled and not educatedetcNegative reviews。And this just shows thatThere is a lot that needs to change for "Chinese-style" parentsofEducational methods, conceptsAnd so on, so that it can beMake a name for yourself, can also be ensuredGive children the most correct and appropriate teaching
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