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Sheng Changbai is the legal eldest son of the Sheng Mansion, and his spouse Hai is from a family with a strong cultural atmosphere, and is the legal heir of the Jiangning Hai family.
The Hai family's family has been ** for generations, and the status of the family even surpasses that of the Sheng family, but when the Hai family became a member of the Sheng family, she began to face tension between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
On the first day of the wedding, when the Hai clan completed the tea ceremony, her mother-in-law, Mrs. Wang, immediately demonstrated her authority to her and warned her solemnly:
Now that you have entered the palace of marriage, as a husband, you should naturally understand that it is your responsibility to have children, listen to your parents' teachings every morning and evening, take care of your in-laws, and provide necessary support by your husband's side.
Hai was momentarily stunned, not knowing how to continue speaking.
At this moment, Sheng Changbai suddenly waved his hand to defend his wife
As a couple, they must each take their own responsibilities so that they can find comfort in their backyard. My son will not be able to bear birth for the bride, and the bride will not have to carry the responsibility of the future for me.
The meaning of this sentence is clear - since my daughter-in-law has made great efforts in giving birth to children, I can't replace her. Therefore, I should take on all the affairs of my career by myself, not let her carry them.
Mrs. Wang's eyes widened in anger, but she couldn't find the right words to respond. I was going to set some rules for my new daughter-in-law, but unexpectedly, my son chose not to get involved.
Mrs. Wang had difficulties when she first made the rules, but she was still not satisfied. Mother-in-law's temper is not good, and Mrs. Wang naturally won't let her suffer much grievances. For a long time, I wanted to submit to my mother-in-law's control, so I kept holding back my breath. The mother-in-law is a good daughter-in-law and her own daughter-in-law, she should let her son and daughter know what she means, so as not to affect her own face. Now that I have become a mother-in-law, I have set some rules for my daughter-in-law in advance, on the one hand, to avoid losing respect for me in the future, and on the other hand, to show my dignity as a mother-in-law.
Therefore, for a period of time in the future, Mrs. Wang will always keep a distance from the Hai clan and deliberately cause trouble.
Sheng Changbai understood that his mother was not really that cold, but there were some pimples in his heart. Therefore, he comforted Hai and made a suggestion to her: let her go to Aunt Wang's side every day to take care of her, whether her mother-in-law needs it or not, especially at the family banquet, she will take care of her more thoughtfully, so that the whole family can see her filial piety.
Sure enough, after a period of time, everyone in the Sheng Mansion praised Hai's virtuous and virtuous virtues, but on the contrary, they felt that Aunt Wang treated her daughter-in-law too harshly and lost the demeanor that a mother-in-law should have.
Mrs. Wang saw that her daughter-in-law had taken everyone's hearts, which made her feel uneasy in her heart. She knew that her son had feelings for his daughter-in-law. Seeing her daughter-in-law's filial piety to her son, her son comforted her from the side, so she released the entanglement in her heart and revoked many regulations such as morning and dusk provinces.
In this way, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will also become more harmonious and harmonious.
In a small gathering with Minglan , Minglan was curious about how her sister-in-law could successfully solve the problem of the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and Hai responded with a smile:
For my new daughters-in-law, they may not know all this, but your second brother is carefully guiding me.
After Minglan heard this, she couldn't help but sigh
It is not difficult to understand why the relationship between the second brother and the sister-in-law is so deep, and the second brother is indeed a scheming person.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a thorny issue.
There are two main relationships in the family: one between husband and wife, and the other between parents and children, which together form the basic framework of the family.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is very unique: it is neither marriage nor blood relationship, but a special relationship formed through the mediation of the two relationships mentioned above.
Therefore, this kind of relationship between people lacks both the stability of the parent-child relationship and the close connection of the marital relationship, which is particularly fragile.
In the context of a family, there is no blood connection between the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law, only because of the son's relationship. These two women, who have never met before, need to live together like family for a long time, and such a relationship is really difficult to maintain.
In addition, some mothers-in-law, due to the strained relationship with their husbands, pin all their hopes and enthusiasm on their sons, thus forming a peculiar "mother-child alliance".
When the son enters the palace of marriage and the daughter-in-law also enters the house, such an alliance is likely to be damaged. The mother-in-law may subconsciously see her daughter-in-law as an "enemy" with imperceptible prejudice and hostility, which is more likely to lead to conflicts.
If handled properly, both the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will "love the house and the house" - the mother-in-law loves the daughter-in-law because she loves her son, and the daughter-in-law loves her mother-in-law because she loves her husband, and both parties can find their place, so that the relationship will become harmonious. On the contrary, if the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not properly handled, there will be many contradictions, and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be disharmonious or even antagonistic, which is not conducive to family harmony and social stability. However, if not handled properly, cracks may appear in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship, which are difficult to repair.
In addition, if there is a serious crack in the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, it will become very difficult to repair the relationship in the future.
To solve the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the key lies in the man who stands between the two.
In the face of the complicated relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, some men choose to avoid and transfer the contradictions between them. In this post, a man described his conflict with his wife and mother-in-law, which sparked widespread resonance and discussion. For example, on the previous Zhihu, there was a very popular post that attracted the attention of millions of people.
The post describes a question asked by a man: "If a woman is 8 months pregnant, can she consider a divorce?" ”
In this question, the man vividly recounts the whole incident:
He lived with the woman for eight years and married because of the children, and now they live in a rented house. The man is a driver and his wife is a teacher. When the woman was 8 months pregnant, he asked her mother to take care of her and take her to and from work, which led to a series of family conflicts.
Among them, there are two things that keep him dissatisfied.
First, he invited her to go for a walk in the park, but she made it clear that she did not want to, so he went out for a walk with his mother and left her alone at home. The woman suddenly woke up in the middle of the night to find that there was silence in the house. At the end of the walk, the mother prepared chicken soup for the woman, and the woman returned to her room to rest after only a few sips. He had a big quarrel with the woman, and his emotions became more and more intense. As a result, he had a heated argument with the woman. He suddenly felt a sadness in his heart. At this moment, his mother was eager to leave, and he hugged her tightly and burst into tears.
Secondly, in order to prepare for the badminton competition organized by the company, he practiced outdoors for more than ten o'clock before returning home. When he got home, he found that his mother had fallen asleep, and she was washing clothes in the washing machine.
Therefore, he blamed the woman, believing that she should not disturb her mother's sleep.
When the woman returned to the room, his mother suddenly got up and had dinner with him, washed the dishes and talked. The two laughed happily, and the woman suddenly rushed out, turned off the light, and said loudly: "You are so noisy that I can't sleep!" ”
The subject became very angry, not only beat his wife, but also became more determined to divorce.
At that time, many netizens mentioned below the post that they experienced a similar situation during pregnancy:
It's really like that question my ex-husband asked! ”
I'm the same type of wife, and I've had a real experience!!
They have all experienced such things: during pregnancy, the husband asked his mother-in-law to take care of him, and after that they avoided him very much.
I can only rely on my mother-in-law's expression to judge, but the process of pregnancy is very tiring, my appetite and physical strength are very poor, and my hormone levels are unstable, so I can't always cooperate well, which inevitably creates contradictions.
In this case, the husband may appear as a "dutiful son unparalleled in the world", criticize the pregnant wife for being ignorant, deliberately causing trouble, lacking empathy for the elderly, and so on.
Selfish men are often experts who are able to skillfully deflect contradictions.
A good man plays a two-sided role in the mother-in-law relationship, like a lubricant.
Therefore, a man like Sheng Changbai is really rare.
He was well aware of the complexity of the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, so he took a strong intervention from the beginning.
My wife, Hai, has just joined us and is not familiar with the world, she is very cautious by nature. Hai is a very good person in her mother's family, she is very filial to her husband and daughter, and she does not like to nag like other daughters-in-law. When he saw that his mother seemed to be trying to cause trouble for his daughter-in-law, he encouraged her and made sure she didn't feel like an outsider.
On the one hand, it is to make the mother understand the boundaries, and on the other hand, it also provides the wife with the confidence that she sees herself as a strong barrier behind her.
He also has an in-depth understanding of his mother, and although he is not malicious in his heart, he will not give up easily due to the entanglement in his heart.
Therefore, on the one hand, he devoted himself to educating his mother and wife, and on the other hand, he was also looking for ways to win his mother's trust and help her release her inner troubles.
Thanks to his active involvement, the relationship between mother and wife eventually became harmonious.
The family is harmonious, everything is prosperous, and in the end he was able to sit in a high position, probably because of the tranquility of the back house.
An easy-to-understand man will consider the following key points when dealing with the relationship between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law:
1) Have the right attitude: Deal with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law positively, neither evading nor diverting any contradictions.
2) Clearly stipulate that the mistress of the house should be the wife and not the mother, and it is necessary to consult and agree with the wife in advance, and the size of the family is the most important.
3) Acts as a lubricant: As the saying goes, "the wise male is round on both sides, while the ignorant male passes from both sides".
4) Avoid further exacerbation of conflicts: When conflicts arise between couples, efforts should be made to reconcile within both parties and avoid parental involvement.
In short, in the family environment, the husband plays the role of a bridge between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, and a man with the right hand is like a key that opens the door to the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law.