The older generation tells us that many friends have many paths.
However, few people tell you which friend is reliable and which friend is the one who comes to hurt you.
How to make friends requires you to accumulate experience by yourself, and you can judge for yourself whether your friends are sincere to you.
I have seen such a saying: "The one who makes us wrestle is often our friend." ”There is no harm in learning some skills to recognize people and avoid wrestling by yourself.
Generally speaking, adults who break off friendship will not even say hello. Those who want to leave you with great fanfare and often say bad things about you actually care about you, and it is difficult for people who really want to leave you to detect.
In the network, no matter how good your friends are, if the following four signs appear, it means that you have long been isolated.
There are fewer and fewer common topics: when chatting, I feel that "the words are not speculative for more than half a sentence".
When I was in school, I had a friend dog. He was fond of stamp collecting, and often exchanged his living expenses for fancy stamps.
In the beginning, he would share the joy of stamp collecting with me. Let's say you find a stamp today that is almost out of print and is in perfect condition. The process of searching is also thrilling, and he can speak with a nose and eyes.
Under the influence of the dog, I also cared about the information related to stamps, and joined the philatelic circle with him.
After leaving school, Gouzi went to Guangzhou.
Three years after graduation, I met with Gouzi at a restaurant in Guangzhou. I suddenly realized that there was no way to talk to each other.
The dog changed careers and was in the computer business.
During the dinner, he kept bowing his head to reply to messages, treating me as air. At that time, I was on pins and needles, and I wanted to leave immediately.
In fact, true friends, even if they have been separated for many years and have taken different paths with each other, will still have nothing to say when they meet again. And, through communication, we found common ground again.
People who care about you will accommodate your favorite "topics" and ask you how you are doing, which is a sign of mutual integration.
The words are not speculative for more than half a sentence, and it is largely "deliberate", you don't understand.
Information asymmetry: You know, you always know less than your friends.
In real life, we would build a group with our friends. No matter who encounters something and has any questions, it will be posted to the group, and then it will trigger everyone's discussion.
As time goes back and forth, the information of friends becomes the information of sharing. Career development, economic status, living standards, and family conflicts are all transparent.
Even friends who have to get together for some kind of benefit will share information, after all, the "feelings" on the face also need to be actively maintained.
When the group becomes more and more deserted, or the messages in the group become less and less valuable, the group is meaningless. Or, the people in the group are slowly isolating you, thinking that you are a particularly redundant person in the group.
As the saying goes, "A grain of rat poop ruins a pot of porridge." ”
An isolated person will be considered "rat poop" by everyone, and even if you are excellent, you will not be recognized. It's useless for you to make compromises. Some labels, torn off, will also leave unsightly marks.
Emotional indifference: I often feel that my friend's attitude is lukewarm.
When you're having a party with your friends, and everyone is looking down at their phones, what do you think?
I feel cold, and the people who are the east are very faceless.
You want to end the party as soon as possible and avoid the awkwardness of interpersonal communication.
Accept reality, eat in obscurity, and politely say "see you another day".
Make an excuse to leave, walk outside the door, and breathe a sigh of relief.
After the party, block all your friends.
Encountering a lukewarm scene is more uncomfortable than arguing. If you quarrel, at least you won't be cold, and there will be a chance to reconcile.
When drinking, we often say"Deep feelings, a mouthful. ”
The foundation of interpersonal communication relies on "emotional interaction". People who use each other also have a certain amount of feelings, at least they will treat each other as "emotional cards".
The relationship is getting weaker and weaker, the relationship is becoming more and more estranged, and when you get close to others, it will be like squeezing a spring, forcibly increasing the pressure of emotional interaction.
The intervention of an "outsider": a friend has a new friend, but you don't know it.
Those who leave you don't like to be alone, they just associate with the people they like.
As the saying goes, "If the old doesn't go, the new doesn't come." ”
When a person wants to make new friends, he is bound to alienate some old friends.
Writer Guo Jingming said: "There are only so many positions around a person, and there are only so many places you can give, in this narrow circle, some people want to come in, and some people have to leave." ”People's energy is limited, and they cannot regard people all over the world as friends. In addition to making friends, you also have to go home, work, travel, and drive.
Many people, when they reach the age of forty or fifty, begin to take the initiative to cut off friendships with friends, because they enjoy the time of solitude and look forward to going home for dinner on time every day, rather than attending socials with friends. From this point of view, there are a lot of family members standing next to him, and friends have to leave.
Don't ask, why are there new friends around friends. Such a question is very naïve.
Conclusion.
What happens when a person is isolated?
Face it right and don't blame anyone。It's common to get together and scatter, and you care too much, which adds to the burden of making friends. Calmly, breaking up is also happy and without mental burden.
And the past, make a goodbye。No matter how good the relationship between friends is, it represents the past, not the present and the future. In the past, goodbye is a familiar stranger, there is no estrangement, and there is no need to recover feelings.
Find the reason in yourself。Being isolated is mostly because you have no use value, or you are asking too much of others. In addition, your attitude towards others is the attitude of others towards you.
Make new like-minded friends。It's nothing, when you join a new circle, you will find that the friendship is still there, it's just a different place to meet.
It's very uncomfortable to be isolated. But you have to face it, not run away from it, and lock the pain into the depths of your heart.
If you don't have a friend, it doesn't matter - people, in the end, are on their own.
For the rest of your life, plant the plane tree, whether the phoenix comes or not, follow the fate.