1. The essence of interpersonal communication is value exchange. If you can provide value to others (whether it is material value, spiritual value, emotional value, etc.), others will naturally be willing to help you. You can't, it's useless to know anyone. If you are not good enough, it is useless to know more people. When you become better, other things will get better. You have the ability to hold an umbrella for others to shelter from the rain, and others will pave the way and build bridges for you.
2. Problems that can be solved with money, try not to use favors. When faced with a problem, if it can be solved with money, then it is better not to use human relationships. This is because money transactions are more direct and clear, so the ancient saying "a thousand dollars are easy to lose, but human favors are difficult to return". When it is necessary to use human relations, remember not to just rely on "favors" to do things, but to put money in place on the basis of "favors" (you can't do things for others, but also advance money for you), and double when repaying "favors", that is, to repay "favor debts" to follow the "principle of overpayment", rather than the principle of equivalent exchange. The principle of equivalent exchange is the principle followed to deal with "problems that can be solved with money".
3. Everything is in order, and if there is no order, it will go wrong. The interaction between people also pays attention to a certain order. If the order of social interaction is reversed, it can cause a lot of trouble and even lead to the breakdown of the relationship. There are many sequences in social interaction, but here are a few: (1) Understand first, and then make friends. "Words are deep, and the gentleman is precautioned". Understand who he is first, and then consider how many words to say. (2) Appreciate first, and then mix the circle. In the end, social interaction has to return to personal value. Don't waste your energy on the circle before your value is established, if you don't exchange value, all social interaction is ineffective. I've talked about this before, so I won't talk about it anymore. (3) Listen first, then express. Only by listening well to others can you speak up better. If you have something to ask for, then you should learn to listen first. (4) Screen first, then approach. There are some people you choose the wrong person at the beginning, and no matter how hard you try, you can't make them the right person. No matter what kind of social networking, it is important to establish your own set of screening rules.
4. Don't overestimate your relationship with anyone. Comfortable relationships have their own sense of proportion, don't overestimate your own weight, be sentimental, and break the boundaries of others. All long-term relationships in the world, no matter how intimate, need to be measured.
5. Don't expect to be liked by everyone, no one will love you because you love him, they will only love you because you are good. If a person approaches you and shows you affection, it can only show that you have the value that the other person values. Don't assume that the other person will understand you, or that you will. Don't try to change anyone, and don't expect the people around you to change for you. If you convince someone, don't be complacent, most likely it is some value in you that convinces him.
6. A good heart is often not as good as a good mouth. Sometimes, despite our good intentions, those good intentions can be misunderstood or ignored without effective communication. People who can speak and express themselves tend to be more easily understood and accepted than those who only have good intentions but are not good at expressing themselves. Sometimes things don't have to be done prettyly, but words have to be spoken. "Speak beautifully" does not mean that you should flatter, but you must know the difference between servility and courtesy, and the difference between flattery and praise for others. Being mean-mouthed and humorous are two different things, being open-mouthed and being frank are two different things, and being uneducated and casual are two different things. It's important to learn to speak.
7. Learn to identify with others, and be able to quickly close the relationship between you and others. When someone else is complimenting you, you have to learn to transfer that compliment to the other person. When others laugh at themselves, just listen to it, don't go along with it. You know, everyone likes to be complimented, so in the process of interpersonal communication, generous recognition will make you gain a lot of unexpected surprises.
8. Invite someone to dinner, and if you can't make an appointment more than three times, don't contact them. When you invite someone multiple times and don't get a response, it could mean that they aren't interested in us or have other reasons. In this case, the invitation should be stopped to avoid causing unnecessary stress or distress to the other party. The same is true for other things, without a refreshing promise, it is a disguised rejection. "No reply is a reply" No response (reply) is also a rejection. If someone doesn't respond to what you say, or responds clearly and positively to your request or invitation, it's likely that they're not willing or interested. At this time, we should respect their choice instead of continuing to force it. So, if someone treats someone to dinner, you must not go empty-handed. Bring a small gift, which is a sign of respect and can also communicate better.
9. In interpersonal communication, we must not only maintain a good temper, but also learn to express our dissatisfaction and anger in a timely manner. If a person is always suppressing their emotions, they will make themselves feel depressed, and being too easy-going and tolerant may be seen as a lack of assertiveness or easy bullying, which will make people reluctant to have a deep relationship with you, and even invite bullying. Just having a good temper can't get a true friend. You can have a good temper, but at the same time you have to lose your temper and learn to express your emotions, but pay attention to the way and timing. A lot of times, if you take yourself seriously, others will take you seriously! When I say this, I don't mean that you can lose your temper, but on the premise that you have a strong ability to manage and control your emotions, and you can afford it. If you don't have the ability to deal with the consequences of your emotions, it's best to stay calm and sensible, don't indulge your emotions, and avoid making impulsive decisions or actions.