She is the daughter of the richest overseas Chinese in Java and the wife of Gu Weijun, a diplomat who "has diplomacy in a weak country". Despite her wealth and status, her life was not happy.
She spent 36 years and countless financial resources to help her husband succeed, however, she was abandoned by her husband in her later years. So, what is her story? Let's work together on her life path.
Huang Huilan's background is quite legendary. Her father is Huang Zhonghan, the "sugar king" of Indonesia, and her mother is Ming Niang, the most beautiful girl in Chinatown.
Although Ming Niang is a well-known beauty, Huang Zhonghan still continued to take concubines, and finally married 18 aunts and gave birth to 42 children. There was even another time when he married a family of three, a widow surnamed Jiang with a daughter and niece.
Because she couldn't stand her husband's "moral turpitude", Ming Niang took her two daughters to Europe and separated from her husband ever since. And Huang Huilan is the product of such a legendary family background.
Huang Huilan has a deep attachment to the death of her father Huang Zhonghan. She was loved by her father since she was a child, and she always followed her like a puppy. Huang Zhonghan often stroked her head and said affectionately: "You have brought me good luck, because I earned one million yuan for the first time in the year you were born." ”
Therefore, Huang Zhonghan went all out to meet all of his daughter's material needs and raised her in an amazingly luxurious way.
Huang Huilan Mingniang, a mother who dreams of making her daughters stand out and improve her status. In order to achieve this goal, she put a lot of energy into raising her two daughters to become socialites in high society, hoping that they would find a golden beetle son-in-law.
Although Huang Huilan never received a formal education, she had many private teachers who taught her various skills such as foreign languages, speech, dancing, swordsmanship, horseback riding, calligraphy, and more.
However, this closed life made her feel lonely, and she longed for the company of children of her age, but the servants always avoided them. These rejections made her lonely and self-righteous, and made her crave warmth and understanding all her life, but it was difficult for her to actively seek them.
Under the careful education of her mother, Huang Huilan has achieved great success in the social world. She was passionate about attending every night of the dance, giving her all at each one, and not returning home until dawn broke.
I love dancing, high-speed driving, and high gambling. And dad was fully supportive, and his money flowed as abundantly as the champagne at the lavish balls and receptions we attended. ”
On the one hand, Huang Huilan enjoys this prosperous life, and on the other hand, she is also looking for the "Prince Charming" in her mother's heart.
In 1920, Gu Weijun was attracted to Huang Huilan's **, and he vowed to pursue her. Gu Weijun was a new generation of diplomats, born in Shanghai in 1888.
After the introduction of her sister and mother, Huang Huilan finally met Gu Weijun. However, she was not attracted by his appearance, as she thought that he could neither dance, nor ride a horse, or even drive a car, and was nothing special.
Despite this, Gu Weijun did not give up, he cared about Huang Huilan's life and tried to understand her interests. He arranged an outing to Fontainebleau and invited Huang Huilan to ride in the ambassador's car.
When Huang Huilan saw his car, she realized that he was a prominent person, and she couldn't help but look twice. Gu Weijun captured this, and he began to show Huang Huilan a whole new world of life, including the worlds of Buckingham Palace, Elysée Palace and the White House.
Huang Huilan was very excited by this new world, and she sighed: "I never thought I would be invited to these places. ”
No matter how much my dad spends, he won't be able to buy a seat in this box because it's reserved for important people. During this time, Gu Weijun sent flowers to Huang Huilan every day and went to see her several times a day.
Sweets and flowers kept coming from him, and he took the time to come to me several times a day. If I go out, he will find me. Really, one day I went to get my manicure and he actually showed up at the Elizabeth Ardennes beauty salon.
It's a testament to how determined he was to marry me. The reason why Gu Weijun is so anxious is that he is about to return to the United States, and as the Chinese minister to the United States, he must win the hearts and minds of the beautiful people as soon as possible, so he must take prompt, resolute, and accurate action.
Gu Weijun said: "I will go to various countries, and my wife will accompany me." Huang Huilan was puzzled: "But isn't your wife already dead?" Gu Weijun immediately replied: "It is precisely because of this that I need a new lady, are you willing to marry me?" ”
Huang Huilan looked at him and asked rhetorically, "You mean to say that you want to marry me?" Gu Weijun said seriously: "Yes, I hope so, and I also hope you can agree." ”
Gu Weijun did not confess his love, nor did he ask her if she loved him. Huang Huilan was slightly stunned, and she replied, "I need some time to think about it." ”
Huang Zhonghan's family photo 03 Ming Niang fell in love with Gu Weijun, and she eagerly asked her husband to facilitate this marriage. However, Huang Zhonghan said in a call back to his daughter: "You don't need to get married, come back and live with me." ”
Immediately afterwards, he sent a private detective to investigate Gu Weijun's background. During the investigation, he found that Gu Weijun had two marriages in Shanghai, one of which was divorced and left behind two children.
This made Huang Zhonghan very angry, and he accused his wife: "You are doing something stupid." If you marry Hui Lan to Gu Weijun, she will never be his main room, because he already has a living wife in China.
How can you do this to Hui Lan? However, Ming Niang did not listen to Huang Zhonghan's advice, because she learned that Gu Weijun had clearly told them about his marital status.
The beginning and end of Gu Weijun's marriage to his second wife Tang Baokey: According to Gu Weijun, he once had a serious illness and was fortunate to have a Chinese medicine doctor**. As a token of gratitude, his father asked him to marry the daughter of a Chinese medicine practitioner.
But after the marriage, Tang Baojian asked to return home because he did not know English. After negotiation between the two families, a divorce agreement was reached. Gu Weijun's second wife is from Tang Shaoyi's family, and unfortunately, she died last year, leaving behind two children.
Therefore, Gu Weijun needs the mother of his wife and children, and hopes to marry Huilan immediately and return to Washington. These accounts are generally true, but they do not mention that his original wife, Zhang Yun'e, became a nun after the divorce, and that his father-in-law died of depression due to remorse.
Although Gu Weijun has two marriages, Huang Huilan still hopes that he will become her son-in-law. Because she wants to live in the satisfaction of being surrounded by people. Huang Huilan was concerned about this, saying that he had two ready-made children.
Ming Niang promised to arrange a nanny to take care of the children, and if there is no now, she will be responsible for finding it. She also seduced Huang Huilan with benefits: "Imagine that you will have your own house with a housekeeper. ”
Huang Huilan said that she already has a small villa on Curzon Road. Ming Niang looked a little impatient, and said directly: "You must agree to this marriage." You are now able to live alone by my shade, but you know that I have diabetes, and once I die, you will not be able to live with your sister because you are at odds with her.
You have to go home and live with your father. He Luxi (Ming Niang's niece and Huang Zhonghan's last aunt) hates you, her mother knows how to poison people and can't check it out.
I'm sure Helucy will poison you. Her sister also persuaded Huang Huilan: "Huilan, you must marry Gu Weijun." Don't be like me, find a mediocre person to be your husband.
Think about it, if you marry him, people will call you 'noble lady'. Under the combination of her sister and mother, Huang Huilan finally agreed to Gu Weijun's marriage proposal.
Gu Weijun fell in love with my ** face at first sight, so my mother arranged for me to meet him in Paris. I married him in obedience to my mother's wishes, and he married me because he saw a beautiful face, and nothing else. ”
"I only spent time together in formal settings, when he was at his best, and I didn't really know him, and he didn't know me," Huang recalled. Maybe I'm marrying a man with my eyes closed. ”
The marriage between Huang Huilan and Gu Weijun is like a gorgeous dream. While she was wearing a gorgeous evening dress and waiting for Gu Weijun's praise with anticipation, Gu Weijun was dictating memos and instructions.
On their wedding night, they didn't spend it together under the gentle lights like most people, but spent what should have been a sweet evening on the train. Gu Weijun needed to rush to Geneva immediately to attend the League of Nations Congress, and his busyness prevented him from giving his new wife the attention she deserved.
Huang Huilan could only eat and go shopping with her mother, and she even had the illusion: "It's like not getting married at all." Gu Weijun's busyness and Huang Huilan's expectations are in stark contrast, but their marriage is still full of firmness and perseverance.
Huang Huilan, the wife of a diplomat, initially knew nothing about diplomatic etiquette. Under her husband's tutelage, she began to study the rules of power circles and inherited her father's business philosophy: "Whatever you do, do it well." ”
Huang Huilan soon became so good at etiquette that Gu Weijun no longer needed the embassy's experts, but relied on her advice. At the same time, she is fluent in 6 languages, and has no barriers to communicate with foreigners.
As a result, she grew into an outstanding ambassador's wife and became an important pillar in Gu Weijun's work. At one point, the couple was invited to Buckingham Palace and were received by the King and Queen Mary.
After returning home, Gu Weijun said to his wife enthusiastically: "We really cooperate very tacitly!" In her later years, Huang Huilan smiled and said, "As I matured and learned my own way of life, we worked better together.
Even though our marriage began to break down on the surface, we were able to maintain this tacit understanding for many years. ”
Huang Huilan used her father's wealth to earn her husband an easy place in the European social scene, and her value lies in her rich financial resources. Gu Weijun's children know this well.
Many years later, Gu Weijun hoped that his son Gu Yuchang would inherit his career and become a diplomat. However, Gu Yuchang said: "Dad, the number of Chinese ambassadors is as large as cow hair.
Your achievements today stem from marrying my mother, but what about me going to ** to find a wife as rich as her? ”
05 However, Gu Weijun pays attention to image and also attaches importance to men's self-esteem. After a dinner party, he suddenly said to his wife, "I don't want you to wear clothes and jewelry that are beyond my earning capacity."
When you usually go out, don't use the car you brought from your mother's house. However, Huang Huilan insisted on her opinion: "I lived in Java, where the Dutch looked down on the Chinese unless you had enough money to ignore them."
The wives of other diplomats gave everything they had, dressed up in opulence and opulence, why can't I wear my own clothes, ride in my own car, and wear my own jewelry? If I groom myself as carefully as they do, it will help people understand that China is not as backward as they think.
We come from a country that deserves attention. Gu Weijun had nothing to say after hearing this.
Huang Huilan and her father Huang Zhonghan live a luxurious life, which has become accustomed to her for her. In 1922, she returned to China with her husband via Singapore.
Her father, Wong Chung Han, was living in Singapore at the time, and the father and daughter finally met. When they were separated, Huang Zhonghan asked his daughter: "Is your pocket money enough to spend?" Do you need it? ”
Huang Huilan replied: "Of course, often. Huang Zhonghan walked away and came back soon after, holding a large handful of bills totaling more than $50,000, which he stuffed into his daughter's handbag.
In 1923, Huang Huilan took her two sons to visit her father. Before going to a dinner invited by the Governor of Singapore, her father asked her if she was carrying valuable jewelry, to which she replied that it was not safe to travel with jewelry, and her father insisted that she wear diamonds and went into the house to bring out a pair of diamond earrings, necklaces and bracelets of at least 25 carats.
That night, Huang Huilan appeared at the dinner party and immediately caused a sensation!
Huang Huilan has a love for all kinds of jewelry, especially jadeite, and her preference for this is due to the influence of her mother. Once, she had a jade contest with a Shanghai tycoon.
In order to win, she did not hesitate to spend 1 million yuan to buy a piece of jade green pepper.
Gu Weijun was sent to Beijing, where they temporarily lived in a 10-acre mansion with 200 houses. Huang Huilan was not satisfied with this rented life, and she explained her thoughts to her father.
Mr. Wong Chung Han has always supported any idea of his daughter, replying: "I have bought this mansion for you. Soon, Huang Huilan spent 100,000 yuan to buy the house, and invested another 150,000 yuan to renovate it to make it look new.
In addition to buying the house, her father paid for the entire renovation.
Gu Weijun's frugal life experience when he was young became one of the fuses for his disagreement with Huang Huilan. Gu Weijun was born into a traditional Chinese family, and his family was neither rich nor poor.
In order to provide for him to study in the United States, his family tried their best, and he had to live near the university and live a frugal and hard life. Every Saturday night, the only dish is fried potatoes.
However, it was this simple fried potato wedge that became Gu Weijun's favorite delicacy in his life.
Huang Huilan could not adapt to this kind of life. While in Shanghai, Gu Weijun's two older brothers rented a beautiful house for them. However, Huang felt that there was no running water and a bathroom, and the bed was an old-fashioned Chinese hardboard bed, which was out of step with her habits.
"I can't live in these conditions, I don't want to try even a day," she said to her husband. I'm going to stay in a hotel with my kids. Gu Weijun felt very embarrassed after hearing this: "You can't just leave like this, making my relatives feel embarrassed." ”
However, Huang Huilan resolutely said that she wanted to leave, and left Gu Weijun angrily without saying a word. In the end, Huang Huilan agreed to wait for his brothers to leave before leaving. After some time, she really moved to an upscale restaurant with her children, nanny, housekeeper and maid.
Therefore, Gu Weijun's ex-wife's daughter Ju Zhen pointed out: "Although my father admires her beauty, and although she is determined to be a good Chinese wife, the difference between my father and her is too great to expect their lives to live in harmony." ”
Huang Huilan is undoubtedly a real social star, she shuttles through the social circle with ease, and has won praise and love from all parties. Her self-confidence and straightforwardness have earned her the respect and affection of people who are not affected by money and titles.
However, Huang Huilan's success and radiance caused Gu Weijun's dissatisfaction. Gu Weijun married Huang Huilan not so that she could surpass him in his career, but hoped that she would become an embellishment in the family, an easy chair that would make the family more warm and comfortable.
However, Huang Huilan's independent thoughts and opinions made Gu Weijun feel bored and angry, because he expected a quiet, obedient, and obedient wife. Although Huang Huilan and Gu Weijun's concepts conflict, her independent spirit and self-confident charm still make her a leader in the social world.
Plagued by various contradictions, the couple chose to go their separate ways. One day, Huang Huilan learned from a bystander that her husband was ill, and she immediately rushed to the hospital to visit.
However, when she visited again, she found that the ward was empty. "He didn't even bother to inform me that he had been discharged. "The relationship between husband and wife is both close and estranged, and when the relationship is close, they can share joys and sorrows and get through difficult times together; When the relationship is estranged, it may also turn against each other in an instant, like strangers, and never see each other.
Yan Youyun and Huang Huilan have lived together for a period of time, and Gu Weijun has gained wealth and grace because of this. However, there are disputes and discord between husband and wife. In order to find a wife who is both virtuous and virtuous and can be a housekeeper, Gu Weijun turned to Yan Youyun, who is gentle and lovely, and is like a bird.
Yan Youyun is the widow of Gu Weijun's friend, and she also has three children. Compared with Huang Huilan, Yan Youyun's personality is more gentle, empathetic, and knows how to take care of and be considerate of men.
Huang Huilan described Gu Weijun's preferences as follows: "His hobbies are a little ridiculous. He liked the obvious and clumsy flattery that made him blush and giggle with excitement. ”
Gu Weijun's romance with Yan Youyun became an open secret, and Huang Huilan recorded his behavior in a diary, describing him as a "romantic ambassador" who would go to New York every weekend to meet his girlfriend.
One day, because Huang Huilan couldn't stand a certain situation, she angrily broke into Yan Youyun's home. At that time, Gu Weijun was playing cards at Yan's house. Huang Huilan picked up a cup of tea on the table and splashed it on her husband's face!
However, Gu Weijun let the tea run down his cheeks, he didn't wipe it, and he didn't look at his angry wife. He ignored his wife, treated her as if she didn't exist, and continued to draw cards and yard cards calmly.
Huang Huilan realized at this time that she may never have received Gu Weijun's love. "My husband and I are not in love. I was expecting love from my husband, but he lacked the talent for tenderness and closeness.
He was not close to me, but was often absent-minded and sometimes annoying. In the end, in 1956, Huang Huilan and Gu Weijun ended their 36-year marriage.
After Gu Weijun and Yan Youyun got married, they spent more than 20 years together, and Yan Youyun always took Gu Weijun as the center and took care of him wholeheartedly, making him healthier, more comfortable and happier.
Gu Weijun is very proud of this, and often says that he can live to be over 90 years old, and he is inseparable from Yan Youyun's care. Yan Youyun knows the importance of showing weakness, being willing to be a foil, and taking the family as the focus of all life, so she won Gu Weijun's heart.
Huang Huilan also realized this later, believing that the husband needs to feel that he is the master of the family, and only in this way can the wife receive his love and respect. If Huang Huilan could have been wiser and more sophisticated when she was young, she might tolerate Gu Weijun's ** to some women, but does this mean that she will lose herself?
After Huang Huilan 08 left Gu Weijun, she rented an apartment in New York alone and kept her dog company. The walls of the apartment are covered with ** of her and Gu Weijun's visits around the world.
She recalled the old days, when she had lived a bold life, enjoying the wealth of a loving father and the dignitaries of a noble son-in-law. Under the protection of her father, she lived a dream-like life and was deeply loved.
However, when she divorced, her father, Huang Zhonghan, had been dead for thirty years. This makes her watch her mythical world disappear, and she realizes that it was all because of her father's pampering and protection.
When I saw Wei Jun and other women publicly insulting me, I felt only anger, not jealousy. Then, and now, if my father was still alive, Wei Jun would not dare to treat me like this, because my father would not allow him to do so. ”
Huang Huilan once faced an interview, and someone asked her: "In Chinese idioms, which sentence is the most ruthless?" Huang Huilan thought for a moment and replied: "There is no feast in the world that will not be dispersed. ”
Huang Huilan, a wise and strong woman, wrote a memoir in English in the 70s of the 20th century, "There is no feast that will not be dispersed". In this book, she looks back on her life and expresses her views on Gu Weijun.
For Gu Weijun, she said that he was a respectable person, but he was not the husband she expected. As for Yan Youyun, she always calls her "that woman" and thinks that woman is an impostor.
However, in the end, she wrote: "It may seem to outsiders that this good life is desirable, but I have also experienced many misfortunes. Now, I'm aware enough that this is part of life.
No one in the world is immune to suffering, and it is because of this that we can know each other and sympathize with each other. Huang Huilan died in December 1993 at the age of 100.
The book, "No Feast: Memoirs of Mrs. Gu Weijun", is a book worth reading.