When the marriage descends into a state of irreparable despair, you must realize that no matter how good the past was, the present moment is a thing of the past, replaced by his disgust and rejection of you. Family marital affection
The generation of "complete death" is not a momentary explosion, but a gradual accumulation process.
In the day-to-day life, problems are not effectively solved, and eventually become stubborn diseases, and people go from initial hope, to disappointment, and then to despair.
In other words, from the very beginning, the problems between you were not properly handled.
According to relevant data, most of the reasons for the divorce of husband and wife are the emotional wear and tear caused by the accumulation of small conflicts, rather than the divorce caused by principled issues such as cheating or domestic violence, which is only a minority.
Not every marriage is unbreakable, and not love will solve all problems.
You need to understand that even if a husband and wife love each other, there will be many different conflicts.
If these issues are not handled properly, it can lead to a relationship breakdown and eventual breakup.
Now, if one party wants to divorce and the other party wants to keep you, the most important thing for the person to keep is to figure out "why the other party has to leave you".
Every day, many women who have marital problems come to me for help. I've found that many people have similar problems in the process of repairing their marriages.
They often have mood swings, focus only on their own anxiety and pain, and then use the wrong methods, such as pestering and blaming, to try to redeem their other half.
The result often leads to a deterioration in the relationship. If you are also in a marriage crisis and are overwhelmed, welcome to seek my help.
From the perspective of marriage counseling, "relationship breakdown" usually needs to go through the following four stages:
01 Disputes
After the marriage enters, the passion period will gradually subside and enter the run-in period. Husband and wife come from different personalities, habits and growth backgrounds, and living under the same roof will inevitably produce all kinds of conflicts and scratches.
If both parties lack the awareness of managing the marriage, let alone the ability to solve problems, every conflict will turn into a quarrel.
Many people's arguments usually stop at emotional catharsis and bad words, and this struggle does not solve the problem, but only consumes the precious emotions between each other step by step.
Don't underestimate the power of time. Even the deepest feelings, if they are only consumed and not replenished, will sooner or later become unrecognizable.
02 Be on guard
When disputes between husband and wife continue to accumulate, there will be estrangement and defensiveness between them, which is commonly known as "sharing the same bed and different dreams".
In the form of guarding, some people may hide from each other in terms of possessions and income and expenditure, while others may hide beyond normal boundaries from their partner or the opposite sex.
In order to avoid being exploited by the other party, and to know the real situation, one or both parties may be cautious financially and socially, even without revealing their professional and future prospects, maintaining strict confidentiality and adopting layers of security to guard against each other as if they were anti-thieves.
If you are able to detect abnormal developments in the relationship in time and start to actively solve the problem, then there is a good chance that the marital relationship will improve. Sadly, however, most people are still slow to wake up.
03 Rift
After all, paper can't contain the fire, and once it is secret, the situation will deteriorate, causing more serious disputes, leading to increased vigilance, forming a vicious circle, and eventually leading to the breakdown of the relationship.
The emotional rift manifests itself as intense resentment, while the behavioral façade is one of mutual alienation.
Just like our common scenario, the husband is reluctant to come home after work, and even when he finally comes home, he will show an attitude of indifference. The wife, on the other hand, is indifferent to her husband and complains constantly.
There is no longer a little love between each other.
04 rupture
The rift continued to widen and could not be bridged, leading to a complete breakdown of the relationship between the two parties. In such cases, couples usually have three modes of choice:
The first option is to go their separate ways, i.e., to achieve a divorce through legal proceedings.
Due to various reasons, it is inconvenient to divorce, and they have to barely make ends meet and endure pain and pressure, and the relationship between husband and wife practically no longer exists.
Emotional breakdown is an irreparable state, and some people will refuse to divorce because they want to torture the other person, preventing the other person from achieving happiness.
This kind of behavior is stupid and immoral, and it is harmful to oneself and others.
If you are eager for more strategies to save your marriage and want to be successful, you may want to seek the help of an emotional expert who can provide you with professional advice, help you analyze your relationship problems, arrange you with the right counselor, and help you develop a reasonable plan.