Today's topic. 
What should I do if I have a different point of view from others?
A story
A little boy catches a small turtle.
The little turtle retracted its head into its shell, and whether it was hitting it with a stick or poking it, it just wouldn't stick it out. At this time, the grandfather asked the boy to put the baby turtle by the warm fireplace. After a few minutes, the little turtle Jue stretched out his head and feet and took the initiative to crawl towards the little boy.
From this story, we know that everyone has an emotional tendency to pursue happiness and escape pain in their hearts, and people like to be praised and affirmed, but they are afraid of being criticized. Direct criticism is tantamount to hitting or stabbing a baby turtle with a stick, it will not come out.
What should you do if someone else disagrees with you?
The child is sullen
The child came home yesterday and was sullen. I asked her what was going on, and she said that the teacher criticized me for snacking at school. She said it was sad. The child said that the snacks I bought this time were delicious and she wanted to share them with her good friends.
At this time, you must not agree with your child's approach. Do you often reply to your child: the teacher is right, you shouldn't have eaten snacks at school in the first place?
Draw you a big cross.
Because you do this, you express your negative outright, and your tough attitude makes the other party feel that it is better not to say it.
You arouse the other party's resistance and defensiveness, which destroys the atmosphere of the conversation, and even leads to tension between the two parties, triggering conflicts between the two parties.
You don't want to see that, do you? But in reality, we've been doing this unconsciously, thinking about the people we've hurt.
So, what's the right thing to do?
The rule of sandwiches.
How to properly express different points of view?
A sandwich is the most appropriate.
The sandwich we know well,Different views or criticismsTake it like nutritious meatSandwiched in affirmation and encouragementThese two slices of fluffy language breadbetween
Affirm, agree, and appreciate some of the other person's views. This makes the other person less defensive and willing to listen to our point of view calmly and accept our suggestions, criticisms or rebuttals.
Expressing different opinions, suggestions, and criticisms in the form of discussions. When disagreeing in the middle of a comment, it's best to focus on the main point, be concise, and don't stretch too much. Repeatedly refuting or criticizing the other person will make the other person lose patience to listen.
Words of encouragement, support, and trust. Saying words of encouragement and support at the end will make the other person feel comfortable and think that our point of view is different but the starting point is well-intentioned.
The example of the above-mentioned children's criticism of eating snacks at school by teachers gives everyone a clearer understanding of the sandwich rule.
Events:The content of the conversation that the mother gives to the child is divided into three parts:The child came home yesterday and was sullen. I asked her what was going on, and she said that the teacher criticized me for snacking at school. She said it was sad. The child said that the snacks I bought this time were delicious and she wanted to share them with her good friends.
You can think of bringing snacks to school and sharing them with the kids, I think sharing is a great idea.
You can think of carrying snacks to prevent others from eating when you are hungry, and you don't envy others, and I think it's a great idea to have them ready.
However, I think you should pay attention to the occasion and time of eating. During and after class, it is the time when snacks are forbidden at school, you don't eat them, and you don't see others eating, you eat them too. You have to follow the school rules.
I'm sure you're not just trying to defy the class teacher's rules. I also believe that you can follow the school discipline.
Let's take a look at the time when we can not only eat snacks, but also not break the rules set by the school class teacher.
If you reply to your child like this, do you think your child will listen to what you say? Will I continue to complain to you next time?
Yes, as soon as you affirm her, she will listen to you. That's the beginning of a good parent-child relationship, isn't it?
Summary
So where does the "sandwich rule" apply?
When we care about our relationship with the other person and need to express different opinions, for example, when we ask or criticize the other person in a family or parent-child relationship, or when we give different feedback to a subordinate or co-worker in the workplace.
Note that in the workplace, subordinates who make mistakes should not use this sandwich rule, but should use the following method. In the workplace, if the leader does this, the subordinates will respect you very much, not only obedient but also loyal.
Combine the above words with actual combat training, and you will also become a good mother, father, friend, girlfriend, and boss in life. I wish you a good parent-child relationship, husband and wife relationship, friend relationship, and subordinate relationship!
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