In this life, you have to meet a lot of people, you have to encounter a lot of things, and you have to spend a lot of money.
Life is always full of twists and turns. But no matter how complicated it is, life has to go on.
Therefore, it has become a compulsory course in life.
Social activist Liang Shuming said such a pointIn this life, we must first solve the relationship between people and things, then solve the relationship between people, and finally solve the relationship between people and ourselves, and the last one is the most difficult.
It is not difficult to find that if we can handle the following three relationships well, life will win.
First, the relationship between people and things: not to be happy with things, to be content and happy.
Feng Menglong, a writer from the Ming Dynasty, wrote a story about Tang Bohu.
The young Tang Bohu was loved by Cao Feng, who was too guarded, and specially recommended him to take the exam.
I took the official chronicle by myself, and took out Tang Bohu's test paper to see that it was written in ancient Chinese. With personal preferences and impressions of Tang Bohu, the decision was not approved.
Cao Feng maneuvered in every possible way, and Fang Zhicai reluctantly gave Tang Bohu a "solution yuan".
After passing the local entrance examination and going to the capital for the big examination, Tang Bohu was full of confidence. But the people in the capital told him that if he wanted to go to high school in one fell swoop, he had to make money to buy exam questions.
Without even thinking about it, he took some silver and gave it to the person who sold the exam questions. Unexpectedly, the matter was revealed, and he was imprisoned.
went around in a big circle, and Tang Bohu completely let go of fame and fortune. There are poems to prove it"If you look for stability in the meantime, a pot of turbid wine and a meal." ”
When we envy the "uninhibited" life of ancient talents, we must also see that their pursuit of external objects has reached the level of minimalism.
Many literati and writers have lived a life of poverty all their lives.
Cao Xueqin said: "Everyone in the world knows that the gods are good, only gold and silver can't be forgotten." ”We all know that a life without desires is the best life, but in our hearts, there is always a dream of making a fortune, and when we wake up, we are surrounded by gold, which is the best.
When I was young, I tried to find a good position and read more books, not for the benefit of the masses, but to increase my wealth; When people reach middle age, for a few taels of silver, they go to great lengths to calculate others, secretly make evil, unjust enrichment, and other evil deeds, all of which are collected in bags; When you retire, you are idle, but you always think that your children's life is not good, and you are worried that your life will not be long enough.
When the water is full, it overflows, and when the moon is full, it loses. To deal with the relationship between people and things is to let yourself always have the space to get material, and life will never be full. When you feel that material things have become a burden, throw some away.
Living by relying on material things, but not taking material things as the ultimate pursuit, you can always go into battle easily and live freely.
Second, the relationship between people: to stay with fate, not to owe.
It has been said, "Ants and flies like to be gregarious, and tigers and lions are alone." ”
Some people retort that tigers and lions will also fight together, and there are also groups.
Zhuangzi once said: "To be alone is to be unique. The only one is the most noble. ”It can be seen from this that being alone is a kind of spirit, rather than blindly refusing to be gregarious and treating all people as enemies. People who are spiritually independent, gregarious or ungregarious, all follow fate, and will not confuse themselves and influence themselves because of human feelings.
American celebrity Warren Christopher wrote about an incident in which he drove a car at a speed of 100 kilometers per hour. Suddenly, a car came from the opposite side, and the speed was also very fast. When the two cars met, he saw the eyes of the other driver.
Although it was a chance encounter, he was always thinking that if the other party was distracted, or he had his hands free to hit **, he wanted to doze off and crossed the yellow line. Then the danger comes. It's not a question of who is responsible, it's a lose-lose situation.
That's why trust between people is important, whether it's driving a car, a long-term partnership, or a simple transaction.
No matter how good you are, once you meet a lot of people, you will be led into a mud pit. Your "awesomeness" is worthless.
The ancients said, but do good deeds, don't ask about the future。If you analyze it deeply, you will find that as long as everyone does their best and doesn't care what others do, if they can get by with their conscience, the world will become a better place.
Relying on everyone's supervision can make a person better, but for this person to really become better, what is needed is "prudence and independence".
Dealing with the relationship between people well, in the final analysis, is to do more good deeds, believe that the other party is a good person, and believe that there must be hope in the world.
No matter in any group, you have not lost yourself, you can get out of the mud without staining, you are a master of social interaction.
Third, the relationship between people and themselves: do not feel sorry for themselves, but live as themselves.
Writer Lin Qingxuan, when he was young, was very distressed for a period of time and restless.
He went to visit a Zen master and hoped to get advice.
The Zen master said, "Eat when you are hungry, sleep when you are sleepy." ”
Lin Qingxuan didn't understand.
The Zen master went on to say, "To eat is to eat, to sleep is to sleep, and there is nothing else to think about." ”
Listening to your words is better than reading a book for ten years. Be simple, don't worry too much, don't think nonsense. Those sad thoughts are actually cocooning and self-restraint.
In life, there are often such things: the circle of friends you post, others can't see it, or see it, and they don't care; When you are angry with others, they can only avoid it, and they will not buy your account at all; You cry, but others laugh.
Everyone is unique, and you are at any age, you are on your own, and you know yourself warmly and coldly.
We all want to live as ourselves, but we are entangled by bad people and bad things, and we always think that we can get rid of it by changing our living environment. In fact, wherever you live, wherever you stand, there will be troubles.
Only by "not counting on others" will your heart suddenly open up and your life will not be controlled by anyone.
Being oneself is actually a state of mind, in self-cultivation.
There's a good saying: "The best relationship is no relationship." ”No matter what you encounter, you have to remember two sentences: what you meet is fate; When we meet, we smile and enmity each other.
It's true to be plain, and don't take any one relationship too seriously.
In this life, the person who has been with you the longest is "you"; Whoever you live with, you live with yourself; What you get, you work hard for.
The real winner in life is to improve a little bit every day, better than yesterday's self.
The more complex the relationship, the simpler it must be.