The girl Xiaowei is about to get married, Xiaowei is over 30 years old, she claims to be an independent woman, when it comes to women's independence, she thinks it is true: she has many years of work experience, her salary is enough to spend, her career is small, and getting married and starting a family is better for better, in order to maintain her"Independence", she proposed"Each has its own flowers", very spiritedly said:"We are equal. "
The AA system originally referred to the equal sharing of consumption between friends to reduce personal burdens and reflect fairness and friendship. However, as time goes by, the AA system has gradually been abused, from sharing the meal money to sharing the electricity bill after marriage, which makes people ask: Is this still called the AA system?
First of all, let's clarify what is a true AA system. The AA system refers to the expenses incurred by each person equally in group activities, including but not limited to meals, transportation expenses, accommodation expenses, etc. This is to ensure that everyone can share the cost fairly and avoid putting too much burden on one person.
The true AA system is a manifestation of fairness and friendship, based on mutual trust and respect.
However, some people now understand the AA system as an absolutely equal system, no matter what the cost is, it can be shared equally with anyone. There is even the use of AA payments in marriages to emphasize equality between men and women. This is very stupid. It can have very bad and serious consequences.
In marriage, the purpose of mutual support and love between husband and wife is to maintain"Family"This smallest social unit, not for the sake of subdivision of giving and getting, contributing more and less; Marriage and starting a family are about taking on family responsibilities together, and when one of the two parties falls, the other person can continue to support the family without hesitation.
In marriage, the meaning and attitude behind the AA system of consumption are very worth pondering, which is to prevent the other party from taking advantage, to be afraid that they will suffer losses, and to calculate the responsibilities and obligations before they have worked.
Why do people get married? The invention of marriage is anti-human because it makes you not free. But marriage also makes others unfree. If you are not free, you will be stable. The words are not rough.
In marriage, husband and wife are one and share family responsibilities and expenses. One earns money and the other takes care of the house, and the housekeeper has to manage the money; If the two of them earn money and manage the house together, they have to have a living account, and they have agreed on how much money they put in each of them.
Living together, spending together, there is so much money, it is not enough to buy like this, and being stretched is the meaning of marriage, so that two people who are not related by blood can always think about each other, and after a long time, they are used to it, that is family affection.
For us ordinary people, there are not so many premarital assets and large assets to deal with, if all the expenses in life are clearly divided and an AA system is made, then there will be no warmth in marriage, and you are indeed free.
There is a good saying"Husband and wife were originally birds of the same forest, and they flew separately when disaster came", Flying separately is a phenomenon and human nature, may I ask, the AA system of the family to live together, the two who have never been tied together, the current disaster, is it more convenient to fly, fly easier, fly faster?
This is definitely not the result we wanted when we got married, marriage is nothing more than a sense of security for womenNo matter how financially and spiritually independent you are, it is also a personality trait, a character trait that belongs to you, and it is by no means an attribute of marriage.
To sum up, we should look at the AA system rationally and not expand or misunderstand the scope of its implementation. In group activities, we can adopt the AA system to reduce individual burdens and reflect fairness and friendship. But in marriage or family life, we should focus on mutual support and love, rather than overly pursuing formal fairness and equality.