In an influential speech, Dr. Wu Jun pointed out with deep feeling:
The road to excellence is always full of hardships, but the path to perdition is always open. ’
The process of an individual's struggle to climb is like a magnificent journey to climb a towering pyramid.
upward, every step seems difficult and challenging;
Downward, there is an endless abyss, which is daunting.
When you resolutely choose to break through and climb the peak, many downward forces from all sides will quietly come, they may be light or dark, trying to contain you and drag you back to mediocrity.
These forces, whether explicit or implicit, pull you downward, which I figuratively refer to as "underlying traction".
Native family gravity
Among the hotly discussed topics in Zhihu, a thought-provoking question emerged: "Why does poverty persist in the family like genes?" The personal experiences of the two users provide a vivid footnote to this.
The first sharer @曹治提 and his father's experience, he joined the army at the age of 16, departed from his homeland in the countryside of northern Jiangsu, not only participated in the self-defense counterattack against Vietnam, but also was promoted to the deputy battalion level early with his own efforts, and his future is bright.
However, as his career was about to reach its peak, he made a shocking choice - he heeded his grandmother's call to abandon his military career and return to his hometown to cultivate the barren land, which was left untended.
Another anonymous told us about his upbringing, when poverty in his childhood even made him unable to afford school fees, and he was transferred to study computer science by accident.
When he graduated from college, fate seemed to throw an olive branch to him, and he successfully passed Tencent's online screening and obtained a valuable interview opportunity.
However, when faced with a potentially life-changing turning point, he chose to back down because he could not afford the cost of transportation to the interview location, and his family strongly recommended that he accept a position in a state-owned enterprise in the county with a salary of only 3,000 yuan a month.
Time flies, and the classmates who competed together in the past have now achieved financial freedom, and he is still working in the state-owned enterprises in the county, making careful calculations for housing loans.
These stories reveal the brutal truth that when you are faced with a critical moment of crossing social classes, it is often not the pressure of the outside world that is the first thing that hinders your progress, but the influence of your family of origin.
When you have dreams and desire to make a career in the big city, your relatives and friends around you may kindly advise: "Girls don't be too ambitious, finding a stable family is the right thing." When you try to challenge the status quo and seek a job with more potential, your parents' worries and incomprehension are like invisible shackles: "In today's society, how precious is a stable job, why should you easily break the peace?" ”
When you have ambitions and want to start a business, the first reaction of family members is often worried: "The road to entrepreneurship is full of dangers, why take such a big risk?" ”
This does not mean that the people around you are happy to see you struggling, but in fact, their cognitive limitations invisibly shape the constraints on your choices. Based on their own experience and understanding of the world, it is difficult for them to foresee the great opportunities and changes that can be brought about by those unconventional moves.
The Atlantic once painted a vivid picture of society: imagine yourself on a socio-economic ladder with a rubber band tied around your ankle and the other end of the ladder where your parents were.
If your parents are standing proudly at the top of the ladder, then when you accidentally slip, this rubber band will exert a strong pull to help you return to your original height.
On the other hand, if they are at the bottom of the ladder, when you are struggling to climb and try to improve yourself, the same rubber band may turn into an invisible bond, always holding you downward.
Therefore, for those who come from ordinary families, it is crucial to grasp this reality as soon as possible: the essence of the advice and guidance given by the family of origin is often to lead you to their class or a slightly higher position.
Only by unswervingly breaking through this seemingly invisible but powerful shackle can you write a different chapter of your life, not just an upgraded version of their life20。
Le gravitational pull
In his theory of the progression of reading, the writer Wu Manbarang elaborated on the five progressive dimensions of reading:
On the first level, people are immersed in the world of leisure literature, choosing books that touch the heartstrings and bring pleasure, guided by personal interests, and intoxicated by a relaxed and enjoyable reading experience.
The second level is the exploration of classic literature, and readers begin to turn to those traditional masterpieces rich in cultural heritage and life wisdom, no longer satisfied with the pleasure of reading, but the pursuit of spiritual food that can enlighten life and improve themselves.
Entering the third level, the horizon of reading expands to the broad world of historical philosophy, and readers at this stage begin to study works with profound connotations and value orientation, and enrich and deepen their own cognitive structure by understanding the historical context and philosophical profundity.
The fourth dimension is to soar in the ocean of ideas, selecting books that are highly inspiring and widely influential, and this type of reading is designed to challenge the boundaries of thinking, cultivate the ability to think independently, and have a deep insight into the complex world.
Finally, at the peak of the fifth layer, readers have gone beyond simple receptive reading, and through long-term in-depth reading and internalization, they have gradually formed a unique ideological system, and on this basis, they have actively and creatively constructed their own personalized reading lists, constantly nourishing and expanding the existing knowledge boundaries.
To sum up, the depth of an individual's reading is closely related to the breadth of his thoughts, and a true in-depth reader is often able to climb the ladder of reading step by step, and finally reach the height of constructing the temple of self-thought.
I've seen a thought-provoking cartoon.
With the rapid development of the Internet, people can easily reach the vast ocean of information with just a click of a mouse and a swipe of their fingertips.
The dancing finger idols are intertwined with the endless secrets of the entertainment industry, which is dizzying; Gripping online games are magneting attention, while crash courses have sprung up in an attempt to soothe modern intellectual anxieties.
In this world, your preferences and mobile phones are better known than yourself; Where your interests lie, the algorithm can always deliver accurately. Unconsciously, people seem to have become pets raised by the Internet, curled up in a self-constructed information cocoon.
Thinking power has become more and more precious in this era, and distraction seems to have become a common social disease. Do you realize that the amount of time you can spend on contemplation is shrinking and that the things you can devote yourself to are becoming scarcer? Maybe you're already struggling to immerse yourself in a complete book, enjoy a documentary at a normal pace, or even construct a logical essay on your own.
Immersed in the "short, flat and fast" low-density fragmented information flow for a long time, the thinking power is quietly lost, which means that the possibility of continuous progress is lost. Once you indulge in this shallow "** fun" entertainment, your enterprising spirit will wear out, making people trapped at the bottom of life and unable to break through.
There is a saying that I deeply believe: "You are what you read."The literal translation is: "What you read, you will become." A more appropriate understanding is: "The content of information ingested by a person often shapes his personality traits and life heights." ”
Therefore, let us resist the excessive plundering of time and attention by the Internet, and actively cultivate the habit of in-depth reading, only in this way can we avoid becoming a vassal of information, escape from the whirlpool of fast food information, and truly realize the improvement of self-worth and the deepening of cognition.
Underlying circle gravity
An in-depth study by The Economist reveals a thought-provoking paradox: in contrast to the significant decline in working hours between the middle class and the poor over the past three decades, the work input of the wealthy and the social elite has increased dramatically.
According to statistics, more than half of billionaires work more than 65 hours a week.
The reasons behind this phenomenon are intriguing. Wealthy people are committed to the notion that work is essentially a process of creating their own value, so they see it as an important way to improve their skills and build wealth.
On the contrary, some low-level workers tend to see work as a way to simply contribute value to their employers, so they adopt a "passive response" strategy at work, and even see "sneaking around" as a subtle resistance to capital pressure.
As a result, "paddling to work" has gradually become a widely accepted unspoken rule, and those who actively devote themselves to work and work hard may be misunderstood, labeled as "pretending to struggle", isolated and even ridiculed.
Looking back at history, we can get a glimpse of the story of Charles Zivab, the legendary figure of Andrew Carnegie's steel empire.
At a time when the 18-year-old worked as a general worker at a Carnegie construction company, he was surrounded by co-workers who often complained about the heavy and meager pay.
However, Zivab showed a very different ethos, and he was full of passion, not only in his daily work, but also in his spare time to educate himself in architecture, in order to become an outstanding employee.
In the face of the cynicism and rejection of his fellow workers, Zivab did not waver in his firm determination, and he always maintained his enthusiasm. The hard work paid off handsomely, and in just eight years, Zivab was promoted to chief engineer and at the age of 25 he became the company's general manager.
In contrast, the workers who once mocked him were either laid off or stagnant. The story vividly illustrates how differences in attitudes towards work can create a huge divide in individual destinies over the long term.
In the workplace, there will always be people who walk around with a perfunctory, passive attitude and try to win you over as their colleague. I strongly recommend that you keep an appropriate distance from these groups.
Professor Xue Zhaofeng, a well-known economist, once pointed out incisively:
Everyone is essentially working tirelessly on the writing of their career resume. ’
When you are in a mess at work, have you ever thought that one day this job will ruthlessly knock you out? Therefore, it is important to take a short look at your work and not let a short period of comfort detract from your career value and competitiveness.
The gravitational pull of values for the weak
The well-known popular science blogger "Science Future Man" once shared a thought-provoking sentence:
There is a sense that haunts me from time to time, and that is that the growing social hierarchy seems to be evolving into a self-fulfilling prophecy. ”
Looking around, many people are going all out to study and struggle, and their material wealth and social status are accumulating like a snowball, and the results are obvious.
However, there is also a group of people who indulge in the plight of the rigidity of social class, believing that there is no hope ahead, as if all the opportunities in life are just means for others to covet their own interests.
They have chosen to turn on the toolbox of the "weak defense mechanism", and spend their energy on complaining, resentment, passive resistance, and even giving up completely, which leads to a deterioration in their lives.
Such examples are not uncommon in our lives: when witnessing the extravagant ostentations of the rich second generation, they lament the injustice of fate; When they encounter setbacks and difficulties, they blame the stagnation of class mobility; Seeing that the junior colleague was rising step by step, he assumed that there was some hidden rule of the game behind it.
Easily blaming one's frustration and dissatisfaction on society and others may be able to obtain psychological comfort in the short term, like a short-term mental massage. However, the price paid for this escapism is to fall into the emotional whirlpool of self-pity and self-pity, and lose the possibility of self-redemption and breakthrough.
A senior psychologist divides people's values into two camps: one is the so-called "weak values" and the other is the "strong values".
People with "weak values" often ask when faced with challenges: "Why is this?" "They tend to externalize the cause of the problem.
Individuals with "strong values" are accustomed to self-examination and asking themselves, "Why is this?" "They are good at finding the root cause of problems from within, and in doing so, they drive their own growth and change.
Just as Yu Minhong, the founder of New Oriental, who came out of a peasant family, faced the teacher's assertion to the class when he was in high school: "None of you can enter the threshold of university, and you are destined to be the companion of farming all your life." Such remarks are deeply imprinted in the hearts of many students, some of whom give up halfway, and some choose to give up after losing the list for the first time.
However, Yu Minhong did not succumb to the so-called fate arrangement, once he failed the college entrance examination, he fought again, and when he fell twice, he tenaciously got up the third time. In the end, he knocked on the door of Peking University with tenacious perseverance, and a young man from a rural area transformed into a successful entrepreneur with unremitting efforts.
This is as the wisdom proverb in the Qur'an says: "If the mountain does not come, then I will go to the mountain." "We may have different beginnings in life, and we face differences in our origins, talents, and distribution of resources, but these do not determine where we end.
In the face of the injustice of life, complaining will only increase the trouble, and only by taking action can we truly turn things around.
When we turn the indignant question of "why" into self-redemption and exploration of "why", in essence, we have taken a big step forward on the road to success.
Dopamine gravity
In the field of biology, a powerful experiment has been hailed as "the rat wonderland of a mad lab". In this experiment, the subject was a mouse that had been intervened with a precision instrument and had an electrode device implanted in its head that precisely controlled its neural activity. When this mouse touched a button, weak pulses of electrical current stimulated areas of its brain that are closely associated with the perception of pleasure.
Unexpectedly, instead of flinching from the electrical stimulation, the mice became more and more addicted to it, exhibiting a pattern of behavior that bordered on madness. In just twelve hours, it continuously triggers the button up to 7,000 times until it runs out of stamina and its life comes to an end.
The science behind all of this is that the electrodes stimulate the pleasure centers in the brain that secrete dopamine, trapping mice in this "euphoria vortex" made of chemicals.
However, we humans are no more rational than this mouse when it comes to **. Although we are aware of the potential health hazards of junk food, it is still difficult for us to resist the immediate craving. Although I know the addictive nature of short**, it is still difficult to resist the short-term pleasure that can be obtained by touching the screen.
An invisible network cable, a fast food order**, and a screen carrying an endless short** stream can fill our happiness threshold in an instant, but gradually erode our quality of life in silence.
The experience of overindulgent pleasure is often followed by a deep sense of emptiness and loss. An in-depth survey by Harvard Business School shows a thought-provoking social phenomenon: those with higher social status and better economic conditions are more inclined to choose value-added entertainment methods, such as fitness, reading books, continuous learning, etc.; People from the poorer and lower social backgrounds are more likely to indulge in forms of entertainment that kill time and lack long-term benefits, such as card games, online games, and lengthy soap operas.
Therefore, we must always be vigilant to avoid becoming the rat chasing the momentary pleasure to death, and learn to find balance in the complexities of modern life, and pursue sustainable spiritual satisfaction and personal growth.
Ordinary pleasures come from indulgence, while the joy of excellence comes from self-discipline.
The process of reading may be a little monotonous, but only by chewing and immersing yourself in it page by page can you refine the words into inner treasures of knowledge and wisdom.
The process of exercising is inevitably accompanied by hardships and hardships, but every drop of sweat is an indispensable brick and stone for a strong body.
Short-term pleasure is often released by dopamine, while long-lasting and deep happiness needs to be tempered and then quietly descended by endorphins, which are a sweet aftertaste after hardship, enough to warm and inspire us for a lifetime.
In the program "Wonderful Story", debater Xiao Xiao once threw out a golden sentence that won my heart: "Those seemingly the most attractive choices are often not gifts from God, but the severe test of life for us, just like the test set by the devil." ”
As we strive to climb the heights of life, we will inevitably encounter a series of dilemmas:
Do you choose to move forward bravely, or do you want to stay safe?
Is it the pursuit of comfort and enjoyment, or the embrace of pain and suffering?
Are you content with the status quo, or are you willing to accept the challenge of change?
In this regard, I would like to share a consistent piece of advice: at the crossroads of life, firmly choose that difficult path full of challenges.
Because, the truth is simple and profound - the smoother and easier the road, the more often it leads to the downhill direction. Only by going through ups and downs can we reach a higher and farther state of life.