141, Snow Willow.
In the morning, Brother Zhenru and Brother Fang Zheng came to visit. When asked about the progress of Founder's medical care project, Founder said that the project has now been approved; As for when construction will begin, it is not yet known. He has been applying for this project for several years, but due to changes in the city's leadership, it has not progressed for a long time. Now that the project has finally been established, it is a milestone sign, which is gratifying. Regarding this project, when it comes to people's livelihood issues, the state strongly supports it, and the people generally support it, but it is standing still and there is almost no progress, I really don't know why? In other words, they know what the reason is, but they can't say it. It's really hard to do something in this hellish place.
Speaking of people's livelihood, I saw a set of data today: in November 2021, the national residents' consumption **year-on-year**23%。Among them, the city **24%, rural **22%；Food***16%, non-food ***25%；Consumer Goods***29%, service ***15%。1 On average, the national household consumption was 09%。
In November, food, tobacco and alcohol **year-on-year**17%, affecting the CPI (Resident Consumption Index) by about 049 percentage points. In food, fresh vegetables ***306%, affecting CPI** about 060 percentage points; Eggs***176%, affecting CPI** about 010 percentage points; Aquatic products***85%, affecting the CPI** by about 015 percentage points; Fresh fruit***41%, affecting CPI** about 007 percentage points; Grain ***15%, affecting the CPI** by about 003 percentage points; Livestock meat** down 197%, affecting the CPI to drop by about 081 percentage points, of which pork ** fell by 327%, affecting the CPI to drop by about 068 percentage points.
The numbers are boring, but the reality is alive. In recent days, I went to the supermarket to buy groceries with my wife on the opportunity to take a walk, and I really felt the cruelty of spending money, which also confirmed the authenticity of the above set of data.
What is particularly infuriating is that some unscrupulous traders have also taken the opportunity to raise prices, causing the common people unspeakably miserable. The day before yesterday, when I was shopping near the community, the two supermarkets were less than ten meters apart, but the difference was very large. Take watermelon as an example: for the same variety, one is 5 yuan a catty, while the other is 6,79 yuan a catty. Today, my wife went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables and bought a watermelon, which was 4 yuan a catty, which was almost halved compared with the highest one. In addition, the pickled radish bought the day before yesterday was 16 yuan a pound in the supermarket, while today's vegetable market is 5 yuan a pound; Sweet potatoes in the supermarket cost a pound, while sweet potatoes in the vegetable market cost 12 yuan a catty, after bargaining, sold for 1 yuan.
In the past, when I went to the market with my wife, I was most afraid that she would bargain with the seller, and even felt a little embarrassed, but now it seems that my wife's approach is still right: vanity really burns money.
A few days ago, my daughter sent a bunch of dried snow willows, like a messy grass. What is it, I asked? She said it was Snow Willow. It's really the first time I've heard of this name. Can such a messy grass bloom? I don't seem to believe it, I don't believe it. According to her instructions, I inserted it in a vase, and after four or five days, the branches really bloomed with new green, like willow branches in early spring. Outside the window is a slaughtering winter, but inside it is as warm as spring; Coupled with this bunch of green snow willows, it makes people feel that spring has really come.
In fact, spring has not really arrived, it is just an illusion. People are also willing to satisfy their imagination of spring in the illusion.
142, The fog, blinded the world.
When I got up in the morning, I looked out of the window and saw a milky white: a rare fog.
Although the weather station predicted fog, the fog was still unexpected. Clusters of fog tumbled past the window, and the line of sight could not reach farther. Normally, to the north of my dwelling, is an open field, although it is a bleak winter, the grass and trees are withered, and the scenery is a little solemn, but the finches are still foraging in the wheat field, and the crows and magpies on the trees have their own mission of reporting mourning and good news; There are also large and small vehicles speeding on the asphalt road, and adults riding electric vehicles to send their children to school, each with their own stories, adding a bit of agility and vitality to this winter.
All of this was gone. From the top of the ten-story building, there is only a raging milky white fog, as if you are riding an airplane through the clouds, and you can't see anything except fog. Originally, snow was a good shield from the ugliness of the world, but since the fog and haze colluded together, it began to blind the whole world. The earth, which is obscured by snow, at least gives people a white illusion, and occasionally the original truth can be revealed; Now, the smog is overwhelming, shielding everything, leaving you with only an inch of space, leaving you imprisoned in it and struggling.
However, in the distance, the sound of car sirens still ringing through the layers of smog and into the ears, letting people know that the world is not dead, but that there are still living beings in motion. It is conceivable that the road is still full of traffic, between the world locked by fog, people are still living and struggling as usual, the leaves of good and evil are still growing wildly, and even the new coronavirus, which makes people talk about it, has also changed its face, smiling and ......walking towards human beingsIt can be seen that fog can only obscure the vision, but not the soul.
Regardless of ugliness and beauty, good or evil, as long as there are people, it means that the world is still alive. No matter how thick the haze is, you can't cover the sky with one hand, and when the wind rises, they will gradually reced, giving you a white sun and a clear blue sky. When it restores an original world, who will remember that this place was once foggy and locked the world?
143, Knives and Fish.
After the operation, the doctor repeatedly instructed that for the future chemotherapy, it is necessary to strengthen nutrition and eat a reasonable diet, especially to eat a little fish and meat. But after the surgery, the taste has also changed a lot, and I am not interested in greasy things, but it is okay with freshwater fish. However, five months after the operation, I only ate it three times. For no other reason, my wife suffers from Parkinson's disease and her hands are shaking badly. The first time I bought crucian carp, when I was late, my hands trembled, it was very difficult, of course I felt distressed, from then on, whenever I asked what I wanted to eat, I could no longer bear to say eat fish. A few days ago, a friend came to see me and mentioned that he wanted to eat more fish and meat. When my wife heard this, she didn't let me know it, so she ran away and bought four big crucian carp in the vegetable market. After I made it, I ate it with relish and ate it for two days in a row.
The day before yesterday, my wife went to the vegetable market again and still bought four crucian carp. As soon as I entered the door, I was told that when I bought fish today, the seller offered to kill and clean it up. I took a look, and sure enough, the fish had been slaughtered and cleaned up. In this way, the inconvenience of slaughtering my wife was reduced, and I felt a lot more at ease.
Actually, the reason why I don't want to mention eating fish is because I don't want to see the slaughter of fish. When the live fish is placed on the chopping board and waiting to be slaughtered, the pitiful appearance is unbearable to witness. The last time I watched my wife kill fish, I couldn't help but think of how I felt lying on the operating table. On the day of the operation, I lay quietly on the operating table, feeling like I had become a fish on a chopping board, waiting to be slaughtered. Looking at the silver scalpel in the doctor's hand, I shuddered. Fear, anxiety, worry, indescribable mixed tastes. If you want to struggle, what's the benefit?
After that, whenever I lay in the hospital bed, waiting for the doctor to come and check on the bed, I felt like a fish lying on the cutting board. In fact, the doctor has the final say on how to treat the disease, what medical facilities should be used, what medicine should be taken, etc., and the patient has no right to beak at all; Even if you want to ask something you don't understand, the doctor will frown and impatiently perfunctory a few words to you. When you are discharged from the hospital, look at the thick dozen bills and find that the fees are really amazingly expensive; Even the layman can see that many of them are useless and full of clear incomprehension. Isn't the patient at this time just the fish on the chopping board?
Now, the fishmonger's charge d'affaires slaughter has satisfied my gentleman's wish to cook far away, out of sight and out of mind; Besides, it's not really a gentleman's cooking. The gentleman is far away from cooking, and far away is when others are slaughtered; And I, far from being slaughtered by myself, is different.
However, after all, the fish is not your own meat, and it still tastes very fragrant.
144, Bathing.
In the afternoon, take a bath.
Since the surgery, I have rarely taken a bath. There is no other reason because there is a stoma on the stomach and you can't get water. In particular, my stoma has been inflamed and has not healed for more than four months, so taking a shower has become a problem. Needless to say, the bath is not good, even if it is raining, you can only "wipe the bath". That is, it should only be scrubbed with a towel in order to bypass the stoma. The disadvantage of scrubbing bath is that there is no bath or shower, not to mention, there will always be a "dead end" that cannot be scrubbed, which is really an emergency measure. Moreover, when it is hot, the scrub bath is fine, but when the weather is cold, it is not good. In particular, my family lives in a bungalow, and the collective heating has not been solved, and a small boiler is used, which needs to be burned by itself; The key is that the temperature is always not too high, which is quite different from the temperature of a building with collective heating. Before the operation, in winter, the wife used electric heaters to bake the bathroom for a long time in advance, and even used two electric heaters; Even so, it is difficult to raise the temperature, at most it can reach about a degree, take a bath, and get frozen, and even catch a cold if you are not careful. After the operation, it is even worse, the ostomy bag is cleaned at least seven or eight times a day, and the stomach is always exposed, and the temperature is definitely unbearable. What's more, I have to change my ostomy bag every few days, and after the stoma dressing change that has been speaking, it will be left to dry for at least 20 to 30 minutes. In this way, it will not take less than an hour to change the pouch every time. In the winter, you bare-chested and bare-chested for half an hour, and if the indoor temperature is too low, you don't have to get sick, and you will freeze. Besides, if you don't take a bath for a long time, your body is dirty, and your heart is tired and crooked.
Because of this, this year I decided to find a building for collective heating, which is now my place to live. The windows are bright, the indoor temperature reaches 244 or 5 degrees, and it is enough to wear thin cotton pajamas, and you will sweat when you wear thick ones. In this way, it is not a problem to change the pouch or clean it frequently. My wife always said that I changed my place of residence this year.
Take a bath today, mainly by scrubbing the bath, supplemented by showering. My wife is careful, the bathroom is already more than 20 degrees, and she still brings a heater to warm up, and there is no problem with being naked inside, and she even feels a little overheated. When my wife rubs the bath, it is no longer trembling, her warm palms can be rubbed at will, remove dirt, and rub out the "jade body" (although the color of this "jade" is a bit heavy), like a magic brush, on my body, sketching and painting, painting and smearing, painting the beauty and happiness of life.
After taking a bath, my body is refreshed, and my heart is also refreshed. In this life, whether a person is happy or not depends on what his happiness standard is. The standard in the heart is simple, happiness comes simply, and taking a comfortable bath is enough.
145, Torturing chemotherapy response.
I got to the "Canal Impression" early for breakfast and met Tian Baochun and his wife. Speaking of my condition, he said that many people asked him for news. As the saying goes: there is no such thing as an impermeable wall. A person suddenly lost contact for several months, needless to say, those who are usually "close contacts" can guess that they are not far from ten.
After breakfast, I went to the city hospital for nucleic acid testing, because tomorrow it was time for the sixth chemotherapy treatment. I was supposed to go today, but today is the day when my wife and I went on a blind date, and on this day, we got engaged and have been walking together for 40 years ever since. I don't want to go for bad chemotherapy on this memorable day, so I put it off until tomorrow. My wife also strongly agreed.
Looking back at the response of the fifth chemotherapy session, it was significantly different from the previous four. The first few times were mild reactions in the first two days after the infusion, retching, dizziness, and weakness in the limbs; But in the past two days, the situation has improved significantly. This time, the reaction was strong for the first four days (of course, still within the tolerable range); After that, I don't know if it was uncomfortable for a while. Sometimes it's a short burst, sometimes it's half a day, a day, or even a few days. Originally, after two weeks, I stopped taking all medications, but I still said that it was uncomfortable. Reactions vary from dizziness to retching, to weakness in the limbs, and sometimes to a combination of symptoms. For example, today, I have been feeling sick since I got up in the morning, but it is not so strong, and I can't vomit even if I want to; After eating breakfast, I improved slightly, but it didn't take long for me to feel weak in my limbs and an indescribable discomfort in my stomach. I usually eat more than 20 dumplings at noon, but today I only ate thirteen, which is almost "cut in half". After eating the dumplings, I quickly lay down and rested, and slept until three o'clock in the afternoon, before I felt much better.
I'm going to have my sixth chemotherapy tomorrow, I wonder what the reaction will be this time? Hopefully this time is better than the last time.
146, The downtown in the ward.
At six o'clock in the morning, when it was still dark, Zheng Shifu came to pick him up and went to Cangzhou Central Hospital for the sixth chemotherapy.
Because I arrived early, the hospitalization procedures went smoothly. However, there is a little surprise, this time not only there are no beds in the ward, but even the corridor is not allowed to live, and the beds are placed in the hall of the ** station, and it is the C position, under the department service card. Lying on the bed, a large group of doctors** on the sign are watching you. To be honest, I've lived most of my life, and I've never attracted so many focused eyeballs.
It's probably the busiest place in the hospital. **The station is responsible for all matters except for the outpatient treatment, and it seems that there are always people doing the formalities; After a few minutes, a family member shouting, "*Liquid!" * said yes loudly, and trotted away. Patients and their families talked unscrupulously, and from time to time ** called, and the voice of ** increased several times. People come and go, I have to go here, lying in bed, you will watch all kinds of long and short legs, walk past your eyes. Occasionally, a patient who has just undergone surgery walks with tubes and bags hanging from them, such as the dazzling jewelry of ancient ladies. The most interesting thing is that there are often people who come to see the presentations of the medical staff, and they seek, taste, admire, and even discuss in front of the signs, completely ignoring the patient's painful patience in front of them.
I was in a trance: Is this a hospital? It is clearly a lively market. The crowd is crowded, the people are boiling, and only the goods that are paved are missing. It is said that when the old man was young, in order to exercise his concentration, he deliberately went to study in a crowded place. It's a pity that I'm not a great man, I don't have that concentration, and on this occasion, my head is big, and I can't wait to find a crack in the ground to get into. At this point, I was very nostalgic for the first few times I lived in the hallway: it was cleaner than here. For me right now, living in the hallway is already a luxury.
I suggested to my wife that there is a hotel nearby, which is not expensive, and you can see a doctor in the hospital during the day and rest in the hotel at night. But after saying it several times, my wife just disagreed, saying that it was convenient in the hospital; And to put it confidently: Aren't everyone else like this? Anyway, it's a matter of two nights, how can you make do with it. In fact, I talked about it for a long time, but it was just a pain in money. I can't go against her frugal kindness, so I can only make do with it.
In order to balance my mindset, I tried my best to find the benefits of living here. What's in it for you? For example, it is very popular, which can avoid loneliness and loneliness; For example, you can break into anyone's sight at any time than if no one has been looking at you for most of your life. Hey, don't mention, I really found a perk that I didn't have anywhere: you lay in bed, and all the ** every move is in your field of vision. Although you have passed the age of thinking about it, but watching the young beauties ** like jade-colored butterflies, flying around in front of you, which life is this the eye blessing and glamorous blessing?
Belch! Settle in the human realm, why not be afraid of the noise of cars and horses. How can you ask you? The beauty in front of you is fresh.
147, Eat slowly.
Because I sleep a lot during the day, I have insomnia at night. My stomach was a little empty, and there was a dried intestine left over from dinner, so I turned it out, trying to find the feeling of drinking alone. There is no wine, and the right is replaced by water. There are no chopsticks, so I directly "scratch my five teeth", pinch a piece, and put it in my mouth. The dried intestines are very hard and must be chewed vigorously. Chew slowly, swallow slowly, don't say it, you really eat it and feel different from usual.
Over the years, I have been mixed in officialdom, from flavorful snacks to luxurious meals, and I have eaten a lot of good things. However, at that time, it was all officialdom coping, drinking mainly and eating vegetables as a supplement, so that it was like Zhu Bajie eating ginseng fruit, and he didn't know what it was like after eating it. At the dinner table, I won the boldness, but missed the deliciousness.
Now it's different, there is no hard work, no more entertainment, there is time, and I can finally calm down and taste it slowly. Gastronomy is a kind of knowledge, which needs to be savored, tasted and appreciated with the heart, in order to live up to the painstaking efforts of the chef and the name of the scribe. Now is the era of hustle and bustle, people are impetuous, retreating, and rarely calm down and seriously appreciate the beauty of food. The soul can't keep up with the footsteps, the taste buds give way to the stomach, and the food is a young woman, who should be dancing on the tip of her tongue, but when she reaches the mouth of her husband, she immediately becomes a hideous-looking devil, and runs into the killer with gastrointestinal pain. For example, I, who have allowed the devil to do whatever he wants all these years, have finally sent myself to Yama. Fortunately, Hua Tuo came forward, and Lord Yama showed extrajudicial grace, so he changed the beheading decision to beheading the prisoner. I didn't want to chase the Hou all my life, but I didn't expect to be old and old, but I lived the life of "Hou".
Losing Fang Zhi cherished is like the dried intestines in front of him. I've eaten it countless times before, but what's really so wonderful about it? I can't tell. So, now that I have finally calmed down and carefully appreciated its benefits, it can be regarded as a kind of redemption for living up to the food.
I slowly savored the dried sausages. Its hardness, under my tough chewing, slowly softened, and the fragrance slowly moistened, filling the mouth, as if it had suddenly turned into a fine wine, and I was drunk.
It seems that life is a piece of air-dried sausage, which requires you to swallow slowly, taste slowly, smack the taste, make the best use of it, and exhaust every bit of its grace, so as to live up to the chef, the food, life, and yourself.
Eat slowly, ...... slowly
2021，12，15.Yu Cangzhou.