Any relationship is a "two-way street".
If you speak coldly to me, don't expect me to be as warm as a spring breeze to you.
Since ancient times, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have had the problem of getting along. Now, many parents-in-law are in a state of "passivity". In order to rely on the elderly, I have to go against the grain.
In fact, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be managed. When the parents-in-law are old, it is inevitable that they will nag, but they must be restrained, reflect their own quality, use feelings to arouse love, and promote the harmonious development of the family.
"Three questions" reflect care.
When a daughter becomes a daughter-in-law, it means that she leaves her parents who gave birth to her, and most of her time and energy will be consumed in her in-law's house.
Someone said: "When I was a child, I didn't eat a grain of rice from my mother-in-law's family, but when I became an adult, I always thought about my mother-in-law's firewood, rice, oil and salt." ”
No matter how incompetent her daughter-in-law is, she is here to "add joy" to her in-laws.
It is difficult for in-laws to truly "treat their daughter-in-law as a daughter", but they can try their best to do it and care more. Usually, asking the following three questions will make your daughter-in-law's heart warm.
Ask your daughter-in-law if she has been wronged and accept the confession.
In the variety show "Thank You for Coming", there is such a pair of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
As long as the daughter-in-law does not do anything excessive, the mother-in-law must stand on the side of the daughter-in-law Yang Jie and deal with her son. For example, if her son is past twelve o'clock and has not returned home, her mother-in-law advises Yang Jie to lock the door and not to "nourish vices".
In the show, Yang Jie praised her mother-in-law vigorously. The host Tu Lei couldn't help but praise: "You are a drama spirit." ”
Many parents-in-law are accustomed to protecting their shortcomings. As soon as he opened his mouth, he regarded his daughter-in-law as an outsider. Doing so will make the daughter-in-law sad and more and more estranged.
Let the daughter-in-law have a lot of opportunities to talk about the grievances and talk about it, and it will be fine.
Ask your daughter-in-law if she has any difficulties and actively help.
For children, the rules for providing for the elderly are mostly like this - you raise me to grow up, and I will raise you until you are old.
The daughter-in-law was not raised by her parents-in-law, but she did take on the task of supporting her parents-in-law. This task is transferred from the son to the daughter-in-law, reflecting the husband and wife concentric, mutual respect and love.
If you can't raise your daughter-in-law to grow up, then do what you can to help do something. In addition to bringing grandchildren, you also have to ask about the difficulties of daily life.
Perhaps, the difficulties cannot be solved, but it is also a very happy thing to be able to share with two more people.
Ask your daughter-in-law about her mother's home to raise awareness of the big family.
With the development of the times, more and more girls have chosen to marry far away. a native of the Northeast, married to Hunan; Hunan people, married to Henan, is very common.
Thousands of miles away from his parents, he is worried about being kicked out by his in-laws at any time. If the husband changes his mind, the daughter-in-law really doesn't know where to go.
When the parents-in-law take the initiative to ask about the situation of the daughter-in-law's mother-in-law's family, it will evoke endless nostalgia and will also bring touching. If you can, make some souvenirs every year and let the daughter-in-law bring them back to her parents' home to reflect the interaction between the in-laws.
They were all born in their mother's womb, how could a daughter-in-law not want her mother's family? Even if she doesn't say it, she will think about it in her heart.
The in-laws observe words and looks, and act as the backing of their daughters-in-law, and there is no difference between inside and outside the people in the family.
"Three don't ask", respect each other.
Young people, they hate nagging. If the parents-in-law interfere in the management, make suggestions or criticize the small family of their children, it will definitely cause all kinds of dissatisfaction.
The following three things are best kept silent and let the daughter-in-law have the right to freedom.
Regardless of the income management of the young couple, the daughter-in-law is allowed to be in charge.
In many families, there is a phenomenon of mothers and boys. In everything, the son has to be decided by his parents. As for money, the son will think that in the hands of his parents, he will be relieved.
In fact, the son is a different family, and the parents should be members of the small family.
There is a saying: "As a man, to whom the heart is given, the money will be given to whomever the money will be." ”
When love comes, it is common for men to find ways to please women and give money to women. Parents-in-law should turn a blind eye.
If the young couple is in financial difficulty, the daughter-in-law can take the initiative. is financially well-off, so don't ask about your parents-in-law.
The daughter-in-law manages the money, in most cases, for the good of the son, and finds a way to make the family more than enough every year. This is a matter of being willing to fight and to suffer.
Don't ask the daughter-in-law about the situation of the mother's family, pass on filial piety.
The daughter-in-law is good to her mother's family, and how much she gives gifts, this is something that the son should ask, and the father-in-law and mother-in-law should not ask.
If the daughter-in-law is very generous to her mother's family, the parents-in-law can't see it, and they also ask questions in front of their sons, rather than saying anything to their daughter-in-law. It's best to pretend not to know.
feelings, it is inevitable that there will be an "imbalance" situation. Parents-in-law don't force anything, just a bowl of water.
Don't ask about the pre-marital situation and avoid going through old accounts.
Some daughters-in-law fell in love several times before getting married. After the father-in-law and mother-in-law found out, they should hide the "words", even if the neighbors point fingers, they should also stop it.
When the parents-in-law turn over the daughter-in-law's old accounts, it will be heart-wrenching. It may even feel like "driving people away".
To be a man, we must learn to be tolerant, instead of entangled in the past old grains and rotten sesame seeds.
It is necessary to understand a truth: there is a difference between the other party taking the initiative to talk about it and asking about it yourself. Some sensitive issues, even if the other party talks about them, should also change the topic to avoid "in-depth study" of the issue.
A good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law abides by the "Law of Thirty-Seven".
Imagine You Are a Flying Seed" reads, "Life is all about focus and balance. If you are so focused that you lose your balance, you will fall. If you balance and lose focus, you will wither. ”
There is no such thing as perfection, there are always places that are fragmented. What we can do is to repair the relationship repeatedly and make the family comfortable.
Three points of confusion, seven points of sobriety, and don't care about bad things.
Three points of distance, seven points of getting along, to avoid chickens flying and dogs jumping.
Three points of advice, seven points of respect, everything can not be forced.
It's all a family, and no one is an outsider if they have something to say.