When I was very young, I was a serious person who was a little bit of a dead person, and this kind of character made me habitually devote myself to everything, all in, and do my best to do it, but the consequence of doing my best is that it is easy to be more serious, so I have lived a very tight life for many years, especially in my studies and work.
Sometimes, when I see someone else quietly getting things done, or looking careless but getting what they dream of, I have a time when I envy the ease of doing everything and the sense of relaxation that doesn't matter even if I lose.
But then I also understood that everyone has their own destiny and time, and the cost of trial and error is different for everyone, and as I get older, I also realize more and more that it is not necessary to gain after paying.
Therefore, we don't have to take the results too seriously, whether we succeed or fail, it may not be determined by personal ability and hard work, and when I understand that the only thing we can control is ourselves, I feel relieved about many results.
If you want to understand this truth, it is still the days when I worked in Xinjiang.
At that time, for two or three years, I had been working as a secretary with the top leader. In order to better convey the spirit of the meeting, every time the meeting was held, he arranged for me to listen to the meeting in his office, and after listening to the meeting, he would make a meeting minutes according to the spirit of the meeting, and distribute it after he reviewed it to convey the spirit of the meeting. At that time, there were an average of three regular meetings a week, and most of them were almost forgotten because they were just ordinary things, but some of them remained in the depths of my memory. Once, just after a meeting, a little girl from a subordinate department knocked on the door, I went to open the door, the little girl rushed into the leader's office crying, and just came in and accused her boss, saying that her boss did not make decisions for her and handled things unfairly. The little girl is very good-looking, with shoulder-length straight hair, curled from the ends of her hair to her shoulders, smooth and delicate, white, with air bangs, she looks well-behaved and cute. It was the morning, the sun shone in through the window, shining her face crystal clear, and the leader sat at the desk, holding a string of beads in one hand and a pen in the other, looking very attentive to her speech. 
That year, not long after our top leader took office, it was the stage of advocating and advocating the spirit of democracy, and he also declared on many occasions in public that if there were problems that could not be solved, he could directly report to him. On that day, in line with the principle of being close to the people, the leader arranged for me to pour a glass of water for the little girl and let the little girl tell her the ins and outs. Unexpectedly, the little girl looked soft and weak, but her expression was clear and clear, and she spoke quickly, one by one, and unconsciously gestured when she spoke, arguing with reason, and her attitude was very firm, just to say it, she felt that she had been wronged and was treated unfairly. It turned out that the little girl dealt with a business department under their jurisdiction in accordance with the system, but I didn't expect the business department to be responsible for some important projects, and then the little girl's leader turned a blind eye to the past, and the little girl didn't understand, according to the system, no problem, why was she wrong in the end. So she quarreled with the head of the business department, for which her direct supervisor criticized her, and she couldn't get angry, so she came directly to find a leader. 
Of course, the number one also understands that it is right to act according to principles, but he also knows that dealing with the business department will affect the progress of the work, and in the end, he arranged for the little girl to return first. The little girl saw that the problem was not solved, although she was reluctant, but she had no choice but to walk out of the office in a huff, in fact, when the first hand hesitated, I knew the answer to this matter. The number one arranged for me to do the work of the little girl, and that afternoon, I contacted the girl. The girl had just been admitted to the system that year, called Li Yuanyuan, and she was the only child in the family, so she was very spoiled, and she had never been wronged much since she was a child, and her academic performance was good, and she had always been held by the teacher in the class. I sat down with the girl to talk, and as soon as she sat down, she began to complain again, she said, she didn't understand, according to the principle that the business department was doing things in violation of the law, but in the end why everyone chose to settle down. She has been emphasizing the principles, of course I know the principles and the system, but we are helpless, but, within the scope of my responsibility, I contacted the head of the business unit to explain the situation, and then emphasized that he paid attention. The person in charge of the business department was probably looking at the face of the number one, and he didn't refute me at the time, and the matter was over. But I know so far that in the eyes of leaders, there is no strict concept of right and wrong, or in other words, right and wrong are linked to interests. Even if it is wrong, it can be right if it can bring benefits. But if you are careful, if you are serious, you will lose. The rules are made to show people, but human feelings and trade-offs are above the rules everywhere. 
After that, I found that what the leader conveyed and what the people below actually saw were completely different things. Soon came to the end of that year, Li Yuanyuan's department was assigned two excellent places, one was given to a colleague who should have been rated last year, but was not rated because of the quota limit, and the other was about an internal relationship and was given to a colleague with old qualifications. Li Yuanyuan is not calm again, she began to come frequently to find a leader, I intuitively feel that although Li Yuanyuan is more sincere and loves to pester, but the big leader doesn't seem to hate her, and sometimes, she can talk to Li Yuanyuan for a while. Later, Li Yuanyuan often reported to the big leaders on the business situation she followed up, and frequently went in and out of the first-in-command office, because the first-in-command "democratic declaration" was in front, so although everyone thought it was strange for a little girl to go in and out of the first-in-command office, it seemed reasonable. After a long time, of course, there are some rumors, saying that Li Yuanyuan has a personal relationship with the big leader, and many people gossip privately that Li Yuanyuan has means, and it is different to look good, that kind of tone, sour, and a little moral superiority. But after seeing so many things, I feel that even if the feelings are true, they don't have to be taken seriously, the so-called feelings may only be able to meet a person's needs at a certain stage, and after this stage, people will always have more realistic considerations. 
Sure enough, about half a year later, something happened, and Li Yuanyuan began to stop going in and out of the number one office frequently. It is said that that time, when Li Yuanyuan was leading the office, there happened to be a deputy who went in to report his work, and after the report, the deputy thought that Li Yuanyuan had also finished communicating, and when he opened the door and signaled to go out together, Li Yuanyuan said very familiarly, you go out first. It's like the tone of a leader. In the eyes of the handsome, he was about beginning to perceive unnaturalness. Perhaps it was this sentence that made the big leader realize that Li Yuanyuan had some problems that exceeded the norm, so he asked me to remind Li Yuanyuan intentionally or unintentionally. It's a pity that Li Yuanyuan fought for excellence that time, but he didn't get his wish, I heard Li Yuanyuan fight for the voice of the big leader, the big leader said, Li Yuanyuan's work is very solid and excellent, but this year's quota is limited. Li Yuanyuan said, the number of places is limited, shouldn't it be a matter of places, since I and another colleague you think are very good, why can't we all rate them excellent? Why do you need her to work hard when you say she is excellent? In a word, the big leaders were a little confused, but then he rejected Li Yuanyuan in an affirmative tone. At this point, Li Yuanyuan was a little disheartened. 
She no longer has anything to do to react to the big leaders, perhaps because she knows that the so-called democracy and the so-called direct expression of opinions are actually a formality. In that year's evaluation, when I saw the trade-offs and considerations of the outstanding candidates with several deputy positions, I understood that the so-called excellent is just an actor framed in the quota. Leaders have to weigh and balance, to ensure that there is a carrot hanging in front of everyone's eyes forever, luring everyone to run forward, but as for being able to eat, it is not that they can run fast, and if they run well, there is hope, in the end, they are the result of trade-offs. Knowing this, when I saw Li Yuanyuan shed tears because she didn't get excellent in the end, I was especially unworthy for her. Sometimes, it is sad and pitiful to use it in the wrong place. When seriousness is just being used by others, it is just a stepping stone to the upper world. Because the upper and lower layers in their positions always see two worlds, each of which operates in its own way, running each other, and the subtlety of the upper layer is that the two worlds are designed not to disturb each other, and the lower layer works hard for this, while the upper layer achieves the purpose of control by weighing the pros and cons. In fact, you don't have to take anything seriously, what you see may not necessarily be what you see, the world is gray, everyone is an actor, and you can't help yourself with the drama itself.
Later, Li Yuanyuan rarely came to the big leader's office, and she began to repair the relationship with her direct leader. When I see her again, she doesn't work so seriously, maybe she's enlightened. She has all kinds of snacks and fruits on her desk, and she has a good time with her colleagues. She is still very good-looking, wearing beautiful makeup, for a while, she got very close to her direct leader, and in the circle of friends one day, she also posted a beautiful **. Many colleagues dug deep and said that the coat behind the chair reflected by her ** seemed to be that of her direct leader. Everyone began to speculate about her relationship with her direct supervisor again, but I think that all kinds of people are just riding horses and hooves in fixed routines and invisible whips. It's hard to tell the real from the fake. Or what's the point of knowing what's true or what's false? 
Everyone is an actor, and the world is also a grass stage team, everyone just plays according to their understanding of the plot and plays to their own script. There is no right or wrong, and even truth and falsehood can be ambiguous, so, in many cases, you will lose if you are serious, and many things have to be passed, without seeking to understand them, and it is good to be confused.
No one pursues truth, and there doesn't seem to be any truth. And the so-called truth, how can it not be designed by man? True and false, the world is unstable. It is a blessing in life to be able to keep the truth in your heart. As for the rest, you can gain or lose as you like, so maybe you can suffer less damage in this hard world.