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Text|Wrote about the moon.
"The bride price is too high to give, you are marrying a daughter and not selling a daughter."
In recent years, there has been an endless stream of social news about sky-high bride prices, and there are not a few couples who have parted ways because of disputes caused by bride price.
Since ancient times, there have been many customs in China in terms of marriage, and the most widely used is the bride price custom.
The bride price is intended for the man to express his heart to the woman and to thank the mother's family for raising his wifeBut under the influence of certain ideas, the thinking gradually deviates.
As a result, some people raised the question of whether the bride price could be compulsorily cancelled. However, the famous writer Jia Pingwa raised an objection, saying, "If the bride price is canceled, it will be easier for low-level men to beat singles", why is this?
Why do we need to give a bride price?
The custom of giving bride price for men and women to marry has a long history in China, which can be traced back to the Zhou Dynasty at the earliest.
As a milestone dynasty in the development of etiquette in China, the Zhou Dynasty formed a relatively mature system in terms of etiquette education.
Among them:"Liturgy"., a series of etiquette and customs about marriage in ancient times are recorded, known as the "Six Rites".
And the gift of "acceptance" in the "Six Rites" is what we now call the bride price.
Image source network) that is, the man needs to prepare a variety of gifts such as gold and silver, jewelry, jade, cloth, tea, and grain for the woman's mother's family.
Although it is rich and thrifty, it is not clearly specified, but the amount and variety of the bride price will directly reflect the man's family background, so there is still a qualitative difference between the bride price of the poor people and the prominent officials.
In fact, in the beginning, there was no custom of bride price for men and women to get married. However, due to the fact that in ancient times, men were the main labor force and military force, and their status has always been higher than that of women.
And our country has always been in ancient times"A married daughter is like water spilled out.", once married, basically has nothing to do with his mother's family.
"Men are inferior to women".The traditional thinking is serious, the phenomenon of preference for sons over daughters is gradually obvious, and in the era when there is no bride price, many people think that it is useless to give birth to girls.
spent energy to raise it, but it was for her husband's family to make a wedding dress, so there were often parents who killed the baby girl at that time.
In order to curb this phenomenon, there is a custom of the man giving the woman a certain amount of property when getting married, which gradually evolved into a bride price.
Since the advent of the bride price, after the change of dynasties, the style has changed a lot, and the gifts given are also different due to different nationalities.
The woman's family thinks that I will raise my daughter and send it to the man's house to continue the incense for my husband's family to have children, thenThe man should give financial compensation, so as not to waste the energy and financial resources spent by the mother's family
It is precisely this kind of rotten concept that has continued to this day, and there are many incidents caused by the bride price today.
Love crushed by the sky-high bride price
Xiao Ye was born in an ordinary family in rural Jiangxi, and there are two older brothers, although she is the youngest child in the family, she is not favored, just because her parents have a serious patriarchal mentality.
Because the family conditions are really average, seeing that the two elder brothers have reached the age of marriage, but they have no money to talk about marriage, their parents hit Xiao Ye with their ideas.
It is hoped that she can marry out early, so as to get the bride price money for the marriage of her two sons.
So he hurriedly got up to find a suitable partner for his daughter, and after being introduced, he soon fell in love with Xiao Xu of the same age in the neighboring village.
The two young people had a good impression of each other when they first met, and after learning that Xiao Xu's father was a small bag foreman and his mother ran a small supermarket, Xiao Ye was more satisfied with Xiao Xu.
Picture source network) Soon the two families sat together to discuss marriage, and Xiao Ye's parents saw that the other party's family background was acceptable, so they decided to ask for a **, directlyPresented 22A bride price of 80,000 yuan
This figure is the best for the average rural family.
But Xiao Xu, who fell in love with Xiao Ye at first sight, told his parents that he would marry Xiao Ye no matter what, and in order to fulfill his son, Xiao Xu's parents agreed to come down as soon as they gritted their teeth.
Who knew that the Ye family, who got the bride price, unexpectedly learned that Xiao Xu's family background was not as good as he said, the small supermarket at home was just a commissary, and Xiao Xu himself still owed foreign debts.
Xiao Ye, who learned the real situation, hesitated, she didn't want to face the day of repaying her debts as soon as she got married.
But Xiao Xu was iron-hearted after eating the scalesIn order to get married, he borrowed money from relatives everywhere and bought a car worth more than 100,000 yuan to express his heart.
Image source network) thought that this time I could finally hug the beauty, but I didn't think that the Ye family would see Xiao Xu so sincerelyImmediately the bride price ** 200,000.
Xiao Xu, who learned of this, collapsed instantly, and after several inquiries, he learned that the Ye family was going to sell their daughter to their son to get married, and he was immediately angry.
Seeing that his girlfriend's family was so ruthless, Xiao Xu also had the idea of quitting the marriage, but when Xu's family came to the door to ask for the return of the bride price,The Ye family was scheming, saying that the money had been spent and it was impossible to return it
The Xu family can be said to have lost his wife and soldiers, and Xiao Xu thought of having a relationship with Xiao Ye Qiangsheng, cooking raw rice and ripe rice, and not getting married at that time.
But he was strongly resisted by Ye Fang, seeing that his daughter-in-law and money were gone, Xiao Xu was so angry that he found a knife from home in a fit of anger and unleashed all his anger on Xiao Ye.
Image source network) and wait for a little to calm down,only to find that his girlfriend had already fallen in a pool of blood without breath, and her whole body was stabbed more than 70 times.
Such ** is not an isolated case, blood cases caused by **bride price abound, and there are people for thisIf the bride price were abolished, would such a dispute not arise?
Cancel the bride price, will the low-level men beat the singles?
Faced with the social issue of the rationality of the existence of bride price, Jia Pingwa also expressed his own views.
He made it clear in his book:"If a man is not willing to spend money for you, then he will definitely not love you. ”
In fact, the appearance of the bride price was originally intendedThe man expresses his heart, sincerity and gratitude to the woman.
Jia Pingwa understands this and makes the above point of view in his book.
Since ancient times, the bride price has always corresponded to the dowry, although it is not as necessary in marriage as the bride price, but any family that values their daughters will prepare a dowry.
For girls, the bride price not only means money, but also represents a piece of the man's heart.
As the saying goes"What you get for free will not be cherished".It is precisely by paying the corresponding price that we will cherish the hard-won happiness.
It's not so much about giving a bride price as it is about giving a guarantee.
For adults,Marriage is not just about feelings, but about the community of interests, and you will see what you can gain in this marriage.
If the bride price is abolished, the economic value given by all to the woman in the marriage process is the same.
Well in such a situation,It is natural to consider the life situation after marriage, and it goes without saying that it is natural that men with excellent economic conditions are more likely to be chosen.
In this way,Men at the bottom of the society who are in poor economic conditions will be screened and filtered, and even the door to marriage will not be opened.
After all, marriage does not get any preferential treatment, or even worse than before, so many women would rather choose to be single than start a family.
Conclusion: For marriage, the "bride price" can be described as the first level in the difficulty, not that you will be happy in the future with the **bride price, and vice versa.
The original derivation of "bride price" has a sense of discrimination against women, and whether it should exist now, and in what way, is a deeper question worthy of social **.
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