Dale Carnegie, a relational guru, said, "Success comes from 85 percent connections, 15 percent expertise." ”
Once, for the sake of money and position, we recruited a group of people, whether they used each other or simply ate and drank, they would not give up at will.
Now, we are sixty years old, and we are truly entering old age. If you are still obsessed with "relationships", it means that you have not changed your role and have not stepped out of the past.
At this time, at that time, let go of the past in order to live in the present.
The rest of your life is expensive, put away your enthusiasm, throw away the following four relationships, do it early, and enjoy happiness early.
First, throw away the intrigue of colleague relationships and learn to look at the workplace coldly.
Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi, official to Hanlin bachelor, Zuo Zanshan doctor, etc.
After Prime Minister Wu Yuanheng was killed, he advocated severe punishment for the parties, but he was slandered, saying that he had overstepped his level to report. Then it was pointed out that his mother died because she looked at flowers, but he wrote a lot of poems about flowers, which is evidence of unfilial piety.
was slandered and demoted to Jiangzhou Sima, and he has seen through the workplace since then. wrote in "Lan Ruo's Residence"."The famous eunuch begged lazily, and retreated to the grassland." ”
In his later years, he refused official positions many times and lived mainly in the Luoyang area. The colleagues in the officialdom are gradually drifting apart, and only friends Yuan Zhen and Liu Yuxi still come and go often, meeting friends with texts.
Yuan Zhen's family gave him hundreds of thousands of dollars, and he donated them all to Luoyang Xiangshan Temple.
Throughout the ages, many celebrities have experienced the ups and downs of the workplace before they truly comprehend life. For example, Su Dongpo has been degraded many times, so he has time to reflect on himself and write with a pen; Tao Yuanming simply resigned and concentrated on studying and farming at home.
After the age of 60, it is impossible to completely cut off contact with colleagues, but keep your distance from people who are intrigue, and even if the other party reaches out enthusiastically, you should not shake hands.
Second, throw away the kinship that tends to be inflammatory, and learn to refuse to exchange courtesies.
Bacon once said, "If you are not a true friend, no matter how heavy a gift is, you will not be happy." ”There is a kind of relative who sees that you have an official position and a career that is eyebrow-eyed, and immediately leans over. Even if you are his junior, he will treat you as an elder and appear to be extraordinarily affectionate.
During the New Year's holidays, he greets you for the first time, making you feel more cordial.
Of course, he will also send you gifts to get some benefits. Later, he encountered something and asked you for it, and it became a matter of course.
Knock on the door with a gift to leave a sentiment card, but after the gift is returned, the sentiment card will be used up.
After the age of 60, you leave the workplace, you will not work hard in your career, and it is obviously superfluous to associate with relatives who tend to be inflammatory. Relatives will not look down on you and will even refuse you to visit the door.
You know, those relatives who don't care about you are not indifferent and ruthless, it's just that they have a new circle of relatives.
Relatives, you don't come to give gifts, I don't return gifts, don't trouble each other, and the favor is much simpler.
Third, throw away unrealistic love relationships and learn to analyze calmly.
When people are old, in terms of love, there are three main types: the wife holding hands, the old love that can't be forgotten, and the new twilight love.
If you are overly enthusiastic, you will inevitably fall into the trap of love, just like when you were young, there is no place for lovesickness. If you think about love outside the family every day, you will definitely lose the family, and the wife around you, although she is old, will be jealous and not easy to mess with.
On the other hand, your children will stand on the side of justice and refuse to live with their amorous parents. In this way, the amorous old man will lose his support for the elderly. When you can't walk, you will be very lonely.
Cherish the person next to you and tell your past lovers to see you in the next life. In this life, if you break your thoughts and be sad for a while, forget it.
If your wife goes first, don't just start a twilight relationship, worrying about meeting those who are greedy for money. It's also possible that the other party is just too lonely and wants you to serve him and act as a nanny.
If you calm down, you will see love clearly. Don't do it again - cut it constantly, and make a mess of it.
Fourth, throw away the "child-parent" relationship that cares about everything, and learn to ignore it.
My old neighbor, Uncle Liu, when he was in his sixties, sold his hometown house and lived in the city with his son.
The son is very generous and gives Uncle Liu some pocket money every day. The daughter-in-law is stingy and often gives Uncle Liu a face.
At first, Uncle Liu was unimpressed, thinking that he had worked hard to cultivate his son and should be rewarded. But after a long time, the daughter-in-law ran away from home - went back to her parents' house alone. The family got along awkwardly.
Confucius said, "Lust is difficult." ”
The most difficult thing about filial piety to one's parents is not food, drink, and housing, but an ugly face.
If the old man wants to look at his face less, he must be "interesting", keep a distance from his children, and don't provoke his daughter-in-law and son-in-law.
You must understand that when children get married, they become another family. When you go to your children's house, you are actually visiting the door, not to be the master. Ask less about your children's family affairs; Some trivial things, if you know, don't ask about them.
Parents can't wait to give all their love to their children, and their children understand this enthusiasm, but don't do it, otherwise it will be excessive enthusiasm.
There is a limerick poem that says it well: "There are 80,000 words in the world, but only love words hurt the most; People have three thousand diseases in life and old age, and only lovesickness cannot be cured. ”When people are old, don't be troubled by feelings, learn to break away and be indifferent to the world of feelings. Treat people with seven points of heat, and leave three points for yourself.
In addition, the old man should learn to be harmonious, as the ancients said: "People are so strong, I win them with softness; People use technology, I feel it with sincerity; People are angry, and I give in to reason. ”
Don't give your enthusiasm to the wrong person, and don't be hurt by someone else's enthusiasm.
The heat is just right, the heart will not be manic, the social will not go overboard, and the days will not be controlled by others.
When people reach old age, the best thing is to live simply, holding the hand of their wife, watching the mountains and rivers, and enjoying the sunset.