Together for more than a year, they were separated once, and then they had a cold war. This time he said that he had been thinking about it for a long time and felt that it was inappropriate to break up. All *** have been removed. I miss him so much, what should I do?
"I broke up, I miss him so much, I want to know the other party's recent life, what should I do? ”
This should be a lot of people's doubts, the two have broken up, but their hearts still can't accept it, they still want to get back together, and their inner thoughts can't be suppressed at all.
That's when some people do something:
l Frequently start to add back to the other party's ***
l Find friends around you to persuade each other;
l Go to the vicinity of the other party and start to chase and intercept;
They think it's a sign of love, and they're even proud of it. I thought that this kind of behavior would move the other party, and then I saw that you were good and began to change my mind about you.
In fact, this is completely wrong, and your behavior will only deepen the problem between you to a certain extent, but will not improve your relationship.
Why can't you resist wanting to contact your ex after a breakup? There could be many reasons for this.
On the one hand, it's your habit. You are used to the presence of the other person, the other person can meet your emotional needs, and you can get more pleasure from the other person. The two people have formed a harmonious pattern, which is comfortable and reassuring. Now that the other person is gone, you can't get emotional needs from the other person, and other aspects can't meet your emotional needs, so at this time you will feel that no one can meet your emotional needs.
When faced with loss, people will instinctively want to grasp it all, so you can't help but want to contact your ex, want to get some security from the other person again.
On the other hand, you think that the other person is a very good person, you like the other person very much, and you want to be with the other person again.
What should we do in such a situation?
Clause. 1. Determine the purpose of your message to the other person. What is the purpose of your contact? If it's just because you're idle, you just want to get emotional value from the other person, and you hope that the other person can give you a positive response to meet your emotional needs, then don't contact them. Because you just don't know how to manage your emotions at this time, time will help you better control your emotions. Only by addressing the feelings between you at the root will you not be swayed by emotions.
If you want to be with each other and recreate a good image, then you must know how to restrain your emotions and don't do things that affect the other person's mood. Calm down for a while and keep an appropriate distance.
Clause.
2. Don't expose your sense of need.
If you really want to contact each other, it's not impossible, just don't expose your sense of need when you contact, don't tell each other what you miss, at the moment of breakup, you are no longer a couple, so you must know how to maintain a certain sense of boundary with each other.
Pay attention to the time of chatting with the other party, do not affect the rest of the other party, and don't worry if the other party does not reply to you in time, because people are not obliged to reply to your messages.
Don't get into trouble when chatting with the other person, and start talking or doubting the other person without replying to your message. The other party has its own freedom.
The speed at which the other party replies to your messages has nothing to do with whether they like you or not, but with the temperature between the two of you in your current chat environment.
Third, take the initiative to establish a good communication model with the other party.
Learn to find a better way to get along with each other when chatting with each other. It can be changed from the tone of speech, the mood of the chat, the topic, the time of the chat, etc. Don't always communicate with each other in the way of accusation, questioning, complaining, and comparison, feeling that you have been tolerating and compromising, and feeling that you are scratched and wronged, if this is really the case, communication will become a quarrel.
If it has really turned into a quarrel between you, then don't fall in love with each other, take the initiative to show weakness and end the quarrel between you.
In fact, whether you are reuniting with the other person or starting your relationship again, you must learn to control your emotions, learn some basic communication skills, and improve your emotional ability. If you really can't solve it yourself, then you can also find a professional teacher, explore your own problems, correct your mistakes, and find the "emotional button" that triggers your emotional out-of-control, so that you can truly control your life.