As parents, we all want to build a deep bond with our children so that they can grow up happily with us. And praising children is an effective way to build a sense of intimacy.
"Parents' praise is the warmest power in a child's heart, making every moment of growth sparkle! ”
The next-door neighbor, Xiaoxiao, is a quiet and sensitive boy who always works silently in the hope of being approved by his parents. However, his parents were always focused on his shortcomings and rarely noticed his efforts and improvements.
Whenever Xiaoxiao brought back a less-than-ideal test paper, his parents always pointed out the mistake immediately, rather than praising his efforts first. This practice left Xiao Ming frustrated and misunderstood.
Once, Xiaoxiao presented his carefully prepared project at a science fair at the school. He spent a lot of time and effort hoping to be appreciated by his parents.
However, when the parents came to the exhibition site, they did not give Ming positive feedback, but pointed out some minor mistakes and compared them with other children's projects. Xiaoxiao was so disappointed and devastated that he began to believe that he was "not good enough".
As time went on, Xiaoxiao became afraid to try new things, because failure meant more criticism.
His self-confidence faded, he became more and more withdrawn, and even began to avoid interacting with his peers. He is no longer willing to participate in school activities and social situations because he fears that he will be looked down upon by others.
However, a small misunderstanding changed all that. Once, Xiaoxiao won first place in a competition at the school, but for various reasons, his name was mistakenly omitted from the list of winners.
When Xiaoxiao returned home, he did not tell his parents the news, and the long-term "suppressive" education made him not want to explain too much about it.
Why is there no stronger and obedient than the next door", "If you don't work hard, you will fall behind", "Why are you so stupid", ......Every time he thought of his parents, the words of reproach rang in his ears.
However, the parents stumble upon this misunderstanding and realize that they have been misunderstanding Xiaoxiao all along. They are aware of Xiaoxiao's efforts and achievements all the time, but they have not given him the recognition and praise he deserves.
From that day on, parents began to pay more attention to Xiaoxiao's efforts and progress, not just her grades. They gave Xiaoxiao more praise and encouragement, making him feel accepted and supported.
Xiaoxiao's self-confidence gradually returned, and he started trying new things again and actively interacting with his peers. He rediscovered the joy of learning and achieved better grades. The parents also learned to be more understanding and supportive, and their relationship became closer and more positive.
So, how to praise children in order to better enhance intimacy?
Specific praise:Don't just say "you're awesome," but be specific about what your child is doing well. For example: "You did well in math class today and listened very carefully." "This way the child can feel our attention and recognition, which enhances the sense of intimacy.
Sincere compliment:Be sincere when praising your child, not false. Children can feel our sincerity, so that praise is meaningful. For example: "You helped your mom clean up her room today, you are such a caring child, and mom is proud of you." ”
Encourage effort:Praise your child by emphasizing their efforts, not just their talents or accomplishments. For example: "You've practiced for so long and finally learned to swim, awesome!" Mom was very touched by your efforts. ”
Moderate compliments:Avoid excessive praise and let the child lose the ability to self-evaluate. Praise them in moderation to let them know their strengths and let them know that there is room for improvement.
Focus on the process: When praising your child, focus on the process of their efforts, not just the outcome. For example: "I see that you put a lot of effort into completing this project, awesome!" ”
Guide your child to praise himself:Teach children to praise themselves and develop their self-confidence. For example: "How do you think you did on this test?" Is there anything you feel you're doing well? ”
Praise your child's moral qualities: In addition to praising your child's academic performance and skills, praise them for their qualities, such as honesty, kindness, bravery, etc. For example: "You took the initiative to help a classmate in need today, what a caring child." ”
Praise at the right time: Give your child timely praise when they make progress or success, so they will be more motivated to keep trying.
Praise diversity: Praise your child for diversity, don't always focus on their academic performance, but also praise their interests, hobbies, strengths, etc.
Celebrate with your child: Celebrate with your child when they achieve something so they can feel the joy of success and boost their self-confidence.
How to boast? Here are some of the children's favorite compliments:
You're awesome! This simple and direct compliment can make children feel that their efforts and achievements are seen.
You are really smart! : Praising children's intelligence can enhance their self-confidence and stimulate their interest in learning.
You're so brave! : When faced with challenges, this compliment can encourage children to be brave and try to overcome difficulties.
You're so creative! : Praise your child's imagination and encourage them to be creative.
You're so kind! : Praising children's virtues can develop their empathy and kindness.
You're working so hard! : Praise your child's efforts so that they understand the importance of effort and continue to persevere.
You're so pretty, handsome! : Proper praise for your child's appearance can boost their self-esteem.
You're so talented! : Praise your child's strengths or skills and encourage them to develop their own interests and talents.
You're such a helper! : Praising a child's contribution at home or school can make them feel worthy.
I'm so proud of you! : This compliment can make children feel the support and love of their parents or teachers.
Of course, compliments should be sincere and moderate, excessive or insincere compliments may cause children to become dependent or misunderstood. At the same time, praise should be specific to the child's specific behavior or achievement, so that the child can understand what he is doing well, so as to better build self-confidence and self-awareness.
Let him face the complex world in the future, and still retain the courage to be "fearless".