From a young age, I felt like a different kid. At that time, my family lived in a lively compound, the neighbors were old friends who had known each other for many years, and the children were playing together all day long. But I always felt like an outsider, and I couldn't fit into this warm environment. I remember when I was ten years old, it was summer vacation, and the children in the compound were excitedly organizing all kinds of games, while I was alone in the corner of the house, looking out the window at their cheerful figures. That's when I thought to myself, "Why don't they play with me?" One day, I plucked up the courage to ask a neighbor who usually seemed kinder: "Why don't you play with me?" He was stunned for a moment, and then said hesitantly, "You ......."You're always not very gregarious, and we're afraid you won't like our game. ”
At that moment, it dawned on me. It turns out that the first reason why others are alienating me is because I have set a label for myself as "unsocial". I always felt that I was different from others, so I unconsciously showed a sense of detachment and made others feel that I was not easy to approach. As I grew older, I gradually understood a truth: the distance between people is often self-inflicted. If I want to fit in, I first have to let go of the baggage in my heart and go out bravely.
So, I started trying to change myself. I volunteered to participate in various activities in the compound, greeted and chatted with my neighbors, and even learned a few games that they often played. Slowly, I found myself less alone. However, the good times were short-lived. When I was in high school, I was elected class president because of my excellent grades. This should have been a happy thing, but I didn't expect it to put me in a lonely situation again. At that time, I always felt that I should have a sense of majesty as a class president, so I always kept a straight face in front of my classmates and rarely smiled. Over time, I found that my classmates began to distance themselves from me, and some even said bad things about me behind my back.
I was sad and confused. Until one day, I overheard a few classmates saying in a private chat: "The class president keeps a straight face all day long, as if we owe him money." Who wants to be friends with such a person! "At that moment, I woke up like a dream. It turns out that the second reason why others are alienating me is because I have established an image of myself as "high above". I always feel that I am better than others, so I show a sense of superiority in front of others and make others feel that I am not easy to get close to. When I realized my mistake, I started to work hard to correct it. I learned to put down my body and communicate with my classmates on an equal footing; I learned to care about their feelings and needs; I also learned to use humor and a smile to defuse tensions. Gradually, I found that my classmates began to accept me again, and some of them even became good friends.
However, life is always full of twists and turns. After graduating from university, I worked for a well-known company. There, I met a lot of great colleagues and leaders. I thought I knew how to get along with people, but I still ran into problems. At that time, I was appreciated by some leaders for my excellent work. They would often praise me at meetings and give me important tasks to complete. This should have been a good thing, but unexpectedly, it caused jealousy and dissatisfaction among other colleagues. I noticed the change in vibe, but I didn't pay much attention to it at first. Until one day, a colleague who usually has a good relationship with me suddenly said to me, "You know what? Now everyone thinks you're amazing, so they don't dare to talk to you. ”
I was stunned. It turns out that the third reason why others are alienating me is because I have created an image of myself as "too good". I always feel that I deserve more praise and opportunities for doing well at work, but I ignore the feelings and needs of others. When I realized this problem, I began to reflect on my own behavior. I've learned to keep a low profile and humble attitude at work; I learned to share my experience and knowledge with other colleagues; I also learned to use my strengths in the team to help others. Gradually, I noticed that my colleagues began to re-recognize me and our team became more harmonious. Looking back on my own upbringing, I have a deep understanding of why others alienate me and how to change it. In fact, many times, the distance between us and others is self-inflicted. If we want to fit in and earn friendship and respect, we must learn to let go of the baggage in our hearts, treat others equally, care about their feelings and needs, and infect those around us with sincerity and kindness. Only in this way can we find our own place and value in this society full of competition and pressure.
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