The funny joke is coming:
Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1、
A major hospital recruits interns, and the professor gives students a question for them to answer.
The professor asked, "What do you do if I get stung by a bee?" “
A said, "Just go back and apply some wind oil essence."
B said: "In addition to the wind oil essence, prescribe some medicine and bring it back to reduce inflammation!" ”
C said: "It's terrible, you have to take a B-ultrasound, take an electrocardiogram, and you must stay in the hospital for observation for a few days, otherwise the result will be very serious!" ”
In the end, C was admitted!
no.2、
It's not that men don't like to dress up, it's just that the aesthetics are a little off-track, plus the confidence of the fan.
For example, in my house, I also try on clothes, and my mother will ask me if I look good, and I say that I don't look good, and my mother will go back and change again and again until we are both satisfied.
On the other hand, my dad asked me like this, is this good-looking, I said it's not good-looking, my dad will say you know a fart, and then go out.
no.3、
My wife and I had an awkward quarrel and slept in the second bedroom. After a while, she took a pair of big scissors and cut a big hole in my mosquito net, and chattered, "Let the mosquitoes bite you!" ”
After about an hour, my wife came with transparent glue and glued the mosquito net that had just been cut together!
I was very moved at the time, thinking that my wife is a knife mouth tofu heart, but in fact, I still feel very sorry for myself! I was about to say something touching, when suddenly she said to herself, "The mosquitoes are almost in there, don't let them escape." I can't bite you! ”
Woo, this is really my own daughter-in-law.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
no.4、
My nephew asked me, "Uncle, have you watched Journey to the West?" "
I patted my chest and said: "Uncle has grown up watching Journey to the West, and he has watched it dozens of times, and he plays it every winter and summer vacation, and the plot can be memorized backwards!" “
My nephew looked at me expectantly and said, "You recite Tang Seng's mantra to me!" Every time he weng weng weng weng weng “
Oh, what is this operation? 」
no.5、
When I got home and was about to eat on the hour, I just saw a new bowl on the side of the stove, which was quite beautiful, and I thought it should be my mother's new purchase, so I washed it casually and picked up the rice.
When I was eating, my mother happened to come back from outside, looked at me in surprise and said, "Why are you competing with our dogs!" ”
I bought this bowl for a dog for a long time, and it made my mom laugh so much at the time!
no.6、
My girlfriend asked me, "Do you know what a single man is called?" ”
I said, "Everybody knows that, single dog." ”
The girlfriend asked again: "What is the name of that woman's singleness?" ”
I shook my head and said, "What's it called?"
The girlfriend said, "The dog ignores." ”
I was blushing and thinking who are you talking about!
no.7、
On the way home from work, I sighed: "I knew that life was so tiring, I shouldn't have gone down to earth in the first place!" ”
Unexpectedly, my colleague replied: "Who let you tease Chang'e in the first place!" ”
At that time, I chased these two colleagues to fight.
Oops, my mother, I'm laughing to death! 」
no.8、
In the past, my husband asked me to take the driver's license test, but I didn't really want to go, so he persuaded me: "Even if you don't open the test, you can use it to deduct points for me!" ”
I obediently went to the test.
After getting the driver's license, my husband said again: "If you don't drive, your driver's license will be in vain, and you won't be afraid if you are ripe." ”
So I drove out into the streets.
Now, my husband persuaded me bitterly: "You better stop driving, your relatives' driver's licenses are about to be deducted by you alone, and it is cost-effective for you to go out or take a taxi." ”
no.9、
I went out to buy goods this morning, and my wife was alone in the store to help me guard the store, and I received a call from a buddy at noon**: Lao Hu, what's going on? Today I went to buy cigarettes, and my brother and sister are not going to sell them? ”
When I got back to the store, I asked my wife about it, "There was a man who came to buy cigarettes today, why didn't he sell them to anyone?" ”
The wife explained: "You mean a young man, he is not tall, he is still underage at first glance, how dare I sell it?" ”
I pointed to my wife and said, "When someone else comes to buy cigarettes, we will sell them, and I don't care if he is an adult or an adult?" ”
My wife said, "Don't you know that it is illegal to use tobacco products to minors?" Recently, some people have been using this to cheat."
I smiled and said, "That person is Lao Zhang, the one who is less than 1.5 meters tall, and everyone is in his thirties." ”
The wife said with a bitter face: "I saw him wearing a mask, a small one, but I didn't expect him to be in his thirties." ”
Haha, I laughed for a long time, this little Zhang has been like that since he was a child, he is still a baby face in his thirties, and everyone calls him "Heavenly Grandma"!
no.10、
When I was in my second year of high school, there was a parent-teacher conference, and the teacher asked the class leader to stand at the door to greet the parents. Our squad leader was tall and wore a mask that day.
As a result, basically every parent who came to the parent-teacher conference passed by the door of the classroom and respectfully greeted the class leader: "Hello teacher! ”
Make the whole class laugh!
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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