Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
Remarks: "Couple Jokes", "Campus Jokes", "Hilarious Imps", "Family Jokes", "Troublesome Jokes", "Hilarious God Reply", please click on the avatar to enter the homepage Article Select the corresponding collection to proceed**!
I got married today, my heart is excited, and it is also sad, I went from one home to another, my heart is mixed, I think of a song "Prose Poems Written by My Father", my tears can't help but fall, when I leave home, my parents can't help crying out ......
In the evening, when I saw off all my relatives at my new home, I took out my phone and sent a message to my brother, "Dad, Mom, are you okay?" “
The elder brother said in a long and heavy voice: Mom, Dad's uncontrollable tears, watching you get married, stood still for a long time, until all the vehicles disappeared into the ...... of the mountain”
I couldn't help but slip down tears as I listened to it, remembering the sad past ...... my parents raised me in those years
The elder brother suddenly smiled and said: "However, at night, the neighbors are basically empty, my parents laughed, and there were only a few relatives left in the room, my parents looked at the gift book with a smile, and then slowly took out the tied gift money from their pockets, and moistened their fingers, one hundred, one hundred, three hundred, tui, four hundred, five hundred, six hundred, .........."The elder brother laughed out loud as he spoke......
Haha, in an instant, I was amused by my brother! Forgot all the sorrows.
Once, I was eating in the university cafeteria, there was really nothing delicious so I ordered a bowl of wontons to eat, and while eating, a pink and tender school girl came to me and asked me if there was anyone sitting opposite, I said no, she took a seat diagonally opposite me, put the bag on the seat opposite me, and didn't pay attention at first, and then looked up and saw that I was thundered, and there were a few big words on her creative canvas bag:"Single
I thought for a while, "Girl, what do you mean, are you hinting at me?" “
I thought about whether to ask **, and when I was about to speak, I was cut off by other classmates.
Last week, I had dinner with my son ......
My son suddenly asked me, "Dad, are you a good friend of mankind?" ”
I'll go, what the hell did he learn in school?!
There was an older young man who had been pestering his friends to introduce him to someone. My friend was so annoyed that he once said to the young man, "Okay, I've got a *** but you have to treat us to dinner!" The young man was overjoyed and agreed to have a treat that night. At the dinner, the young man scolded angrily when he saw his friend's ***: "I've never seen you so shameless, in order to rub the rice, I brought all the 6-year-old ***!" 
I remember one day, when I went to buy watermelon, I asked the boss, "Is your watermelon sweet?" The boss said, "Sweet, so sweet that I can't even bear to sell it." Then I bought two of them and went back, and after cutting them, I found that none of them were sweet, so I went back and asked the boss, "Why did you lie to me that this melon is sweet?" The boss said, "I didn't lie to you, I really don't want to sell the sweet." ”
When I went on a blind date today, I simply washed my hair and changed into decent clothes! As for the face is not cleaned, anyway, wearing a mask, the blind date girl can't see it! When I came to the blind date café, it was just the first time I met, and I don't know why, the girl was not interested in me! I'm so good, why can't she look down on me! The girl just said to me: you didn't have a clean face today, I don't like sloppy boys! I'm a little weak-hearted, how did she guess? And the girl said, "Because I saw you have a big dirty beard that came out of your mask at one time." Hey, miscalculated again!
My sister said that I was very good at playing games, and she wanted to play with me! I said forget it, I can't take you, you're too vegetable! Later, I heard that this girl was playing with other little brothers.,Did I miss something?
The tortoise wants to race against the rabbit. The rabbit disdained and said, the reason why your ancestors won us once was because they took advantage of the loophole, don't be delusional. The tortoise grinds hard and hard, but the rabbit still doesn't give it a chance. In the end, the turtle threw out a dozen hundred-dollar bills and said, this is your appearance fee! The rabbit suddenly smiled: Master Turtle, I will run as much as you ask me to run. Turtle: Humph! I'm the turtle that won your ancestors!
A kid everyone says he's stupid. When someone gave him a five-dollar and a ten-dollar bill, he always went for the five-dollar, and the news spread quickly, and everyone who saw him would try him in this way and laugh at him. Each time, he smiled and picked up the five yuan and left.
Later, a doctor heard about this and conducted the test himself, and the results were the same as everyone said.
The doctor looked at him, thought for a long time, and then suddenly laughed, patted the child on the shoulder and said, "Little friend, you are so smart!" ”
The kid smiled instantly.
Do you know what the doctor saw?
My mom took me to a pretty grand wedding and came back to ask me ......How I felt, I said, "The crabs at the feast are good, very delicious." “
My mother said, "How do you feel besides eating?" “
I said, "The bride is good-looking, but the bridegroom is so ugly." “
My mother slapped me and said, "People who are so ugly can find a handsome daughter-in-law, what about you?" Do you know what to do besides eating? “
If you like it, follow me, more hilarious clips will make you happy every day!
Dear laughing friends, if you make your laughter out of control, laugh, I hope you can share your laughter in the comment area! >
Thank you to every reader! Thank you to every fan! Thank you!