Zeng Guofan wrote in the "Ting Jing": ".It is okay to be strong in self-study, but it is not okay to be strong in the place of victory
A person's best cultivation is not to defeat external enemies, but to dodge the fists of others, and then constantly defeat oneself.
Why do some people be entangled with a third party to the end, but they can't keep their love? It is often because he does not understand the relationship between "internal and external causes", and is always wary of others, but ignores the "house thief".
Flies don't bite seamless eggs", if your feelings are invulnerable, then no matter how strong the opponent is, you can't take the person you love away from you. On the contrary, because you and your lover will not give up on life and death, you will deduce a tragic love story.
Therefore, a long-term relationship starts from refusing "internal friction", and don't give a "third party" a chance.
Reject the internal friction of the soul and compare the heart to the heart.
Singer Jiang Yuheng sang: "A brave man, with a strong chest to shield his loved ones from the wind and rain, a silent man, with a solid shoulders to carry everything, a man's heart can only endure even if it hurts." ”As a man, he is the head of the family and an ordinary person in the workplace. He does not have three heads and six arms, but he must live like a thousand-armed Guanyin, hold all the sufferings in his arms, carry them on his shoulders, and respond to the requests of his children and wife.
Reality, and especially cruel, does not give men too many opportunities.
Many men, in order to feed their families and their children study well, go to construction sites to move bricks, work as handymen in factories, run halls in hotels, and run rentals on the street. Whatever works is what the men have used.
But in the hearts of women, men should stand tall and small, be wise like a rich man, and be tall and famous like a football star.
As the saying goes, "People are more angry than people".
When a man is compared, his heart is very tired. Why, I accompany my lover every day, but I don't give myself face at all, and I can't even feel the word "understand".
Why do some men like to smoke and drink silently alone, it's not that he doesn't care for his body, but that no one understands him, his soul can't find an outlet, and he is always helpless.
For example, the great writer Tolstoy, because his wife wanted him to make money hard, kept nagging, was forced to run away from home, and would rather die than go home.
In Anna Karenina, he wrote: "Happy families are all alike, and unhappy families have their own misfortunes. ”This sentence is not so much a warning to the world as it is written for himself.
On the other hand, if a man achieves nothing and blames a woman for not being a good helper, then the woman will also be very tired, hoping to find a "third party" and lean on her shoulder.
Common mental internal frictions include: suspiciousness, complaining about life, comparing with outsiders, all kinds of incomprehension, mutual cold war, refusal to communicate, etc.
When a person can go home humming a song every day, then he has a special desire for home, and when he comes home, his spirit will be very happy, and he will truly regard home as a place of recuperation.
Refuse to have internal friction in money, and be diligent and thrifty.
Hong Kong actor and singer Zhong Zhentao was once a smash hit. The song "As long as you live better than me" was sung on the streets many years ago. Of course, singing and acting also made him a lot of money.
Later, he married Zhang Xiaohui. According to common sense, they are rich, even if they don't work for the rest of their lives, they won't be bad enough. It's a pity that Zhang Xiaohui is too extravagant, for the sake of a luxury, she can spend a lot of money, and at the same time, the husband and wife invest at will, and every attempt ends in failure.
Within a few years, this family was completely ruined, and there were hundreds of millions of yuan in debt. The money is gone, and life still has to go on.
As the saying goes: "Poor couples mourn everything." ”In families without money, the contradictions increase rapidly, and in the end, the husband and wife can only go their separate ways and find the "right person".
Husband and wife get along, the most terrible thing is that there is no money, no one wants to earn it, but they are still quarreling.
It is only natural to make money to support your family. But if you don't know how to be thrifty, no amount of money will make people happy, and spending money will become the beginning of contradictions.
There will be more than celebration in the family of goodness", treat the family's money well, and the husband and wife can work together to tide over the difficulties and become richer and richer.
Reject the internal friction in interpersonal relationships and socialize cleanly.
In "The Legend of the New White Lady", Xu Xian and Bai Suzhen are a model couple, and they will never abandon them no matter what obstacles they have.
However, there is a plot that makes people very sad: Xu Xian met Fahai and was fooled for a while, and then thought that what Fahai said was true, and he was getting along with a "demon" day and night. Bai Suzhen was sad and hugged the pillow and cried.
Fahai, as a "third party", successfully blocked a period of fate. However, part of the credit is that "Xu Xian" made friends carelessly.
In real life, there are always some people who suspect that their lover is having an affair, and they don't think about it themselves, and then they just say it"If you do the first year of junior high school, don't blame me for being the fifteenth." After saying that, I also went to find other love, thinking that in this way, the fault of the two people would be evened out. Really, laughing and generous.
's husband was snatched away by his best friend; The buddy egged himself on for a divorce. But all such ugly things are the result of "luring wolves into the house", and we need to reflect on them and resolutely not do them.
In addition, the contradictions between brothers and sisters, the contradictions between the mother's family and the husband's family, and the contradictions between concubines will also make the relationship between husband and wife unpeaceful and need to be kept away and tolerated.
Conclusion.
Lao Tzu said: "The one who wins is powerful, and the one who wins is strong." ”If you are stronger than outsiders, it means that your strength is greater, and you continue to surpass your former self, which is the real strong.
If you want to live in harmony with them, then stop all internal contradictions, let the love become stronger and stronger, and form an impeccable copper wall.
What is internal friction? That is, a person fights with himself and his family, and before outsiders can do anything, the family has already been defeated. The third party gets the benefit without any effort. As the saying goes, "Sandpipers and mussels compete, and fishermen profit." ”
For the rest of your life, you must be able to distinguish between "inside and outside, enemy and self", and not be influenced by outsiders, so that you can get along with each other.
Good feelings, one heart and one mind, the same frequency resonance, the same advance and retreat.
Personal opinions, and readers' encouragement.