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I saw a question: "Why are we getting more tired and unhappy?" ”
Someone answered very realistically:
It's not because you can't satisfy yourself, but because you're always tired of satisfying others. ”
A smart person will definitely make himself more and more independent, more and more boundary, more and more principled, and more and more bottom-line.
Because only in this way can we ensure that we can be a good person at the same time, but also be a temperamental and powerful person.
Only in this way can you win the respect of others.
What people are most afraid of is wishful thinking, which gives people the impression that they are easy to provoke and use.
I've seen such a sentence:
Kindness is precious, but kindness does not grow teeth, it is weak. ”
For the rest of your life, you must let yourself be a person you don't mess with.
You can be kind, but you must live an angular life.
Wishful thinking, it will only be cheaper
In relationships, if a person is wishful thinking for a long time, it will give people a feeling of cheaper and cheaper.
In fact, such a person cannot get the respect and favor of others in the crowd.
After all, wishful thinking, sacrificing oneself at any cost, and pleasing others, will only make oneself humble and make oneself passive.
In the end, you will not get the least respect from others.
It's like the book "No More Please" pointed out sharply:
"Giving too much to please others can make you humble; In order to please others and pursue excellence, he will make his life screwed. ”
To learn to be a person who is not easy to mess with is to tell others that no matter how good you are, you still have a bottom line and a temper.
Therefore, when necessary, in any relationship, show your tough side, have a temperamental personality, and properly show your "not easy to provoke", but it is intimidating and will not gain an inch.
Don't let yourself live cheaper and cheaper, but let yourself live more and more confidently and powerfully.
Then, others will take themselves seriously, and they will become more and more active and sharp in the process of life.
Teacher Wu Zhihong once said:
"If we can't express our aggression reasonably, if we can't defend ourselves, and if we always swallow our anger, this kind of dedication will not be exchanged for recognition, nor can it be exchanged for intimacy. ”
Life is like this, the more vulnerable you are, the easier you are to talk, the less others will take you seriously, the easier it is to bully you, oppress you, and take advantage of you.
Only by bravely showing their tough personality and practical ability to defend their own interests, instead of blindly swallowing their anger, let alone humbly currying favor with others.
It's not easy to mess with, and it's also your confidence
In this life, most of the time, people are dealing with others, but in fact, to put it bluntly, they are also dealing with human nature.
So, make yourself as knowledgeable as possible about human nature and know its strengths and weaknesses.
Then, we can treat different people in different ways.
Even more importantly, we know how to defend ourselves and preserve ourselves.
It's like communicating and getting along with people with each other, a compromise is nothing, and a humility is nothing.
But if compromise becomes a habit, if humble flattery becomes an instinct.
Then, it will only make more and more people feel that they are easy to provoke, and it will also make those people feel that they are getting cheaper and cheaper.
There is such a sentence in "Sisters of Bankruptcy":
Why do people take you less and less seriously because you are too talkative.
When others don't take themselves more and more, it's important to think that you're most responsible.
Because he is too weak, too humble, too kind, and too easy to speak, it makes people feel that they are calculating themselves and using themselves without any pressure or price.
For the rest of your life, be a person you don't mess with
Sanmao once said:
"Don't be afraid to say no to others if your reasons are justified. ”
A person who truly lives a mature and rational life must know how to reject others, and he also knows that when it is time to turn his face, he must also be brave to turn his face.
Because only if you really let yourself live with confidence, personality, and temper, will you live more and more independently and actively in this life.
Only in this way can you win the respect of others for yourself, at least let people know that they have a bottom line.
The Russian writer Bondarev once said:
The root cause of all human suffering stems from a lack of a sense of boundaries. ”
For the rest of your life, you must make yourself strong and give people an impression that you are not to mess with.
In this way, there are principles, boundaries, strength, and toughness, so that we can win more and more respect and appreciation from others.
In the end, we will be able to rely on ourselves and really live better and better.