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Hello everyone: Welcome to the 100% funny joke collection to make you (high) laugh for a day!
no.1、
I asked my daughter-in-law: Why have you been so good to me since you got married?
The daughter-in-law said: Just because you are different from others.
I asked: **Different?
The daughter-in-law said: Others propose to their girlfriends on one knee! You proposed to me on your knees with your legs together!
no.2、
There are a few classmates in the class who like to give their classmates nicknames, and if your surname is Zhang, you will be called "Lao Zhang"; If the surname is Li, you will be called "Lao Li", a universal match, as long as you add the word "old" in front.
One day, the female classmate I had a crush on for two years also called me by my nickname: "Old Gong, lend me your pen." “
Ah, I feel so nostalgic for that feeling, this nickname has surprised me for three years, and now I want to go back to junior high school, what a group of wives and concubines.
Wow! Lao Gong, husband, hehe, it's a little interesting)
no.3、
The head of the family asked the teacher: "Teacher, you said that you were also beaten and scolded, why did the children of the previous era have no psychological problems, but now the children have psychological problems just by beating." ”
The teacher said, "If the children of the past did not have psychological problems, why should they beat and scold the children of the present?" ”
I thought about it for a while, and I thought it made sense.
The teacher went on to say, "So educate the child in the right way. ”
no.4、
My neighbors said to me, "I'm going to exercise from tomorrow." “
I asked him, "Are you working out or running?" “
The neighbor thought for a while and said, "I like to run, I don't know if it's better to run in the morning or at night." “
I said at the time, "It depends on whether you want tofu brain or barbecue." “
The neighbor touched his head and said with a grin, "Hehe, let's run at night." “
Haha, I'm afraid that the more you lose weight, the fatter you get! ）
no.5、
I've gained a lot of weight recently, and my husband always teases me, saying that I'm about to get fat into a lump of meat.
On this day, my husband began to complain that I was too fat again, and I slapped him in the face when I was angry, saying that I was too much, and I didn't give a good face and said: "Who is too much, you say that I am fat first." He actually replied: "I said it because you got fat first!" ”
Well! I said it when you got fat first! It's kind of interesting. ）
no.6、
After talking to the object for more than a year, her name is Zhu Jing, and she brought her back to her hometown for the first time during the Chinese New Year.
Mom, Zhu Jing is here".
When the pigs came in, they drove them out, and I was busy."
Angry girlfriend stamped her feet straight ......
no.7、
I bought an underwear a few days ago, and the strap broke after wearing it once, so I went to the store to settle the account: "Didn't you say that the quality of the underwear is very good?!" ”
The shopkeeper said, "Oh, Miss may be your breasts are too big!" ”.
I said shyly, "Okay, forget it......."“
I thought to myself: this boss is really good at talking, hehe!
no.8、
On my birthday, my wife bought a watch for me, I liked it at the time, I opened it and found that the watch did not go, so I asked my wife: "Is this watch bad, you ** bought, hurry up and ask customer service!" “
The wife said, "This is what this watch looks like." “
I was surprised and said, "What's the use of this watch hand not leaving?" “
The wife explained, "Yes, so it represents hope to stay in a happy time forever."
I was confused and asked, "How much did it cost?" “
The wife said: "It's not about money or money, the key is that it means good." “
Later, I checked ** on the Internet, and it was: 9 pieces of 9 free shipping. On her birthday, I gave her a bag of 20,000 yuan, my birthday, this two wives actually gave me 9 pieces of 9 free shipping watches, and they didn't leave, and what did they say, "It represents hope to stay in a happy time forever".Iron, I'm tired!
no.9、
My wife had a weekend off, so I asked a few good sisters to go shopping.
After a while, she suddenly called me **, saying that the bedding was so discounted! Buy one set get one free!
I said dare to buy it urgently.
When I got home from work in the evening, my wife threw me two boxes of TT.
Brothers, is this also bedding? I really don't know how to spend the next week, ahem, this body is getting weaker and weaker
no.10、
Today, I had a few drinks at home, and I was poetic, and I chanted:
I want to go back with the wind, but I'm afraid I won't be able to weigh it.
I am born fat and will be useful, and I will come back when I am gone.
The meat is fat and fat, and I will go up and down and seek to be thin.
An Neng broke his eyebrows and bent his waist to eat fat, which made me unhappy.
I am lucky to be thin, and I am lucky to be fat.
Suddenly, my wife yelled: "What are you crazy about, hurry up and wash the dishes." So I went to wash the dishes!
---end--- This article is a plain text funny paragraph, only for entertainment, if there is bad guidance, please understand!
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