Have you ever had such confusion in your life?
Obviously with relatives, but more tiring than with strangers?
If there is a slight disappointment, the partner will lose his temper, and even if he is wrong, he will not admit it, but will blame others;
can't control his emotions, recklessly make trouble, and toss the whole family at a loss;
In order to meet his own needs, he completely ignores the feelings of others, making people around him tired and tired;
Lacking a sense of boundaries and rules, everyone is required to take him as the center of their lives.
In fact, people like this are called "emotional giant babies" in psychology.
Their emotions are like landmines, they explode when they are ignited, they explode whenever they are ignited, and they also harm others.
If you try to communicate with him and reason with him, it is tantamount to exacerbating the conflict and maximizing the damage;
In order to resist their emotional attacks, the people around them often find themselves in the abyss, not only consuming themselves, but even mentally exhausting.
Perhaps it is best to draw a clear line and stay away politely, not only to protect yourself, but also to respect the fate of others.
Singer Ke Lan cried about her tragic marriage experience in the program "Mamma Mia".
In her last marriage, Ke Lan was abused by her husband, leaving a psychological shadow, and she still has lingering palpitations about marriage.
Kelan's ex-husband is often emotionally unstable, irritable and irritable.
Once, Kelan was sleeping in bed, and her ex-husband was talking to her.
Because he didn't get a response, his ex-husband was furious, and actually brought a basin of cold water and poured it directly on the sleeping Kelan.
Even, her ex-husband would be angry because Kelan returned late from work.
He opened the door a crack, and when Ke Lan reached out to pull the door, he quickly closed the door, and forced Ke Lan's hand to get blood.
Faced with all kinds of injuries from her ex-husband, Ke Lan finally chose to divorce.
Now, although she has had children with her new boyfriend, she is reluctant to get a license to get married and enter into marriage.
Because of the physical and mental damage caused to her by her ex-husband, it is difficult to erase it for a long time.
Li Shanglong wrote in "Please Stay Away from the People Who Consume You":"The relationships you have with the people around you determine what kind of life you live. ”
Indeed, the reason why we are tired is not because life is too difficult, but because the people we get along with affect your life.
When you meet emotionally stable people, life is mostly warm and happy; met an emotional giant baby, but the days were helpless.
Because the emotional giant baby not only can't control his emotions, words and actions, but also asks others to catch their emotions.
Once you don't catch their emotions, they will vent their frustration in their hearts.
It's just that choosing to pay for their negative emotions distorts their own world.
They are like sucking blood, absorbing the emotional value of others and consuming the life energy of others.
Instead of trying to change the "emotional giant baby", it is better to reduce the interaction and stay away from the relationship to avoid it.
Best friend Xiaomei and her cousin Lan Lan work in the same city, so Lan Lan proposed to rent a house with Xiaomei.
Although Xiaomei knew that Lan Lan had a bad temper and her emotions were uncontrollable, she did not refuse because of her relatives.
But not long ago, Xiaomei and Lan Lan broke off their relationship.
It turned out that Lan Lan often kept pouring bitter water on Xiaomei.
From her boyfriend not caring about herself, to the company's cleaning aunt not seriously cleaning the hygiene under her workstation.
Tell the story of the day's troubles in every detail.
Not only that, if Xiaomei doesn't accommodate Lan Lan, Lan Lan will lose control of her emotions, crying, and beating things.
At first, Xiaomei always comforted her cousin, but later, she found that her emotions were also affected by Lan Lan.
At work, she complained about the workload and accused her colleagues of not doing things well.
Gradually, colleagues began to stay away from Xiaomei, and their work also hit walls everywhere.
Xiaomei, who realized the problem, tried to communicate with Lan Lan and tried to adjust each other's states.
Unexpectedly, Lan Lan's emotions were out of control again, and she injured Xiaomei when she fell something, and Xiaomei was hospitalized for half a month.
Afterwards, Xiaomei moved out of the shared house and cut off contact with Lan Lan.
Xiaomei, who was away from negative energy, adjusted her emotions, and gradually returned to her life and work back on track.
In fact, the lethality of bad emotions is far more serious than you think.
People's emotions are often more contagious than viruses, and when the people around you are always bursting with negative energy, then you will definitely be infected by them.
There is a kind of "black hole" in psychology, they are good at transmitting negative emotions and causing people to lose energy.
And the "emotional giant baby" is precisely the "black hole body" of the powerful faction.
Not only do they spread negative energy, but they can also pull you into a "black hole" and distort your normal life.
If, you try to save them, then the more you care about him, the more you will carry his emotions.
Because you can never feed an emotionally hungry giant baby.
Harvard psychology tutor Kato Tetsuzo, described the "emotional giant baby" as follows:
As an adult, you can't have the emotions of an adult. When you demand him by adult standards, he is more emotionally unstable than a three-year-old.Indeed, meeting an emotional giant baby is a catastrophe in life; Talking about feelings with emotional giant babies is a lifelong pain.
Therefore, you must stay away from the emotional giant babies around you.
If you're unlucky, try these tips to protect yourself from harm:
1. People who are not relatives or relatives, hold up the boundary umbrella and strengthen their hearts
Emotions are like a gift, you can accept it; If it doesn't work, just refuse.
No one will accept a gift from someone who doesn't know each other, then inconsequential emotions can also be refused.
The negative emotions of colleagues, pull up the firewall and stay away; The negative energy of relatives and friends, holding up the boundary umbrella, isolated.
Many troubles in life stem from the fact that we are embarrassed to reject people who are not relatives.
You don't have to pay for unnecessary emotions, and you don't have to consume yourself for it.
Adjust your mentality, focus on inner construction, bravely draw a line, and protect your energy magnetic field.
In this way, we can do things with peace of mind in an irrelevant emotional storm; In order to better jump out of the "black hole" when it sucks you.
For loved ones, enhance emotional resistance and guard your energy field
In this world, the people who can hurt themselves the most are often the relatives around them.
Because human nature is like this, the closer people are, the easier it is to stab the sharp blade into the vital point.
If there are emotional giants in your loved ones and you have a lot of bonds, then you need more than just a strong heart.
Perhaps, try to set up psychological boundaries and clarify the rules for getting along with the other party, but you can stop the loss in time.
Husband and wife, respect each other as guests and keep a proper distance from each other; With your parents, distinguish the boundaries and keep a distance from "a bowl of soup".
Don't blame them excessively, and encourage them to seek psychological help to solve the problem at the root.
In doing so, it is not only to protect oneself, but also to respect the fate of others.
Heard a little story:
A monk saw a scorpion falling into the water, so he reached out to save it, but was bitten on the hand by the scorpion.
Unfortunately, the scorpion fell into the water again, and the monk still reached for it, only to be stung again.
At this time, the shepherd boy on the side asked the monk why you had to save the scorpion when it bit you.
The monk said, "It is in my nature that I save it; It is in the nature of a scorpion to sting. ”
At this time, the scorpion fell into the water again, and the monk was about to reach out to save it, when he saw the shepherd boy on the side, silently stretching out a branch and scooping up the scorpion.
The monk saves the scorpion, which is compassion; Scorpions sting, it's nature.
In life, there are too many "monks" who are always used to "treating" the people around them, but ignoring their own feelings.
There are also too many emotional giant babies, like scorpions, who meet their own needs by consuming the energy of others.
When you meet an "emotional baby", don't take your kindness and your love as virtues.
You can have mercy and save, but you must take the branches in your hands and establish boundaries.
Because only then will your energy field not be destroyed.
in order to build a stable "pyramid" in the bottom of the heart to resist the invasion of negative energy; In order to win a seat of warmth in the ill-fated fate and fill the wounded heart.
Do you have such people in your life? How do you deal with their erosion? Welcome to leave a message in the comment area to share.